Dear Nurses and doctors everywhere:

The location where the baby sleeps is a parenting decision, not a medical one. You may feel free to keep your opinions to yourself.

Thank you very much,

Love,
Moms everywhere

Its ALIVE!!! ITS ALIVE!!!! Mwah hahahaha!!!

Ya know.. we didn’t co-sleep. We did bring our kid to bed with us the first month or so. Usually in the mornings. Hey, what can I say?? It usually gave us an extra two hours of sleep!

As far as I can tell I have a well adjusted little boy. He has slept in his own crib since 2 months old and slept through the night for the majority of that time too. He’s 17 months old now. Zombie toddler!!!

I, apparently, have a monster, then. My “monster” is two, and is currently sleeping in our bed-setup. He sleeps eleven hours straight just about every night, and keeping him close to me meant I didn’t have to get out of bed each night to feed and change him, meaning that *I* was not a monster. I’m thinking that’s a pretty dang good trade.

And also, a Great Big YEAH, THAT!!! to Jane’s comment. ^_^

I just got back from an appointment for my son, and the paediatrician practically gushed about how well-natured and happy he is. Guess what — 10 months of AP, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and lots of love will do that for a baby!

I was told something along this vein 11 years ago with my first. He is now a happy, bright, independent, well adjusted kid with lots of friends. He no longer sleeps with me (although he does still give me a kiss on the cheek every morning), no longer breastfeeds (although he knows mama milk is the biological norm for all babies) and shows incredible amounts of compassion and love.

All 3 of my kids spent their first year in our bed. All 3 of my kids must be Monsters, hahahah. Actually, they are quite the opposite. They are happy, even tempered, relatively well behaved. And I blame it all on the fact that they are just great kids. >3

… And I am one VERY lucky mama! <3

While I don’t cosleep, you don’t say this to a mother. Have some tact. Your job, nurse, isn’t to give me parental advice, so zip it!

Funny… I’ve co-slept with all three of my kids and they seem like ordinary little tykes.

I have TWIN monsters. They co-slept until they were a year old. It was the only way I was able to nurse them and get any sleep at all. One of my twins still sleeps with me on occasion and there is nothing better than waking to his clean, sweet scent in the morning. I know those days will pass all too quickly. My eight year old still snuggles with me in the morning but those days are waning as well, I would guess.

I guess this is why every other country in the world is (not) overrun by monsters and almost all have a much lower SIDS rate. Because, you know, human babies can protect themselves so well as infants that they don’t need protection from hungry lions or cold or need comfort. I was told “Don’t you know you’re suppose to let your baby know from the first night that if she doesn’t fit into your sleep patterns and stuff she’s going to be ignored until it’s more convenient for you to deal with her. Don’t let that baby run your life. You’re the boss, not her. If you just let her cry, she’ll eventually stop crying and she’ll go days without crying. You won’t even know she’s there!” This was said by a relative and not a health care professional but she felt she knew th best way to raise kids since she has 3. That was out of line for that nurse to say that. Now, if she was a childhood sleep expert it would be different. Thankfully we all have instincts that tell us what’s best for our baby and we are allowed to make our own decisions based on those instincts. Some feel it’s best to have the baby in the bed, some go for a bassinet, some for a crib in their room or in a room across the house. I think whatever works for you and your family is best and “creating a monster” has more to do with your overall parenting (or lack of).

I dunno… is that such a bad thing?

http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.142611716.jpg

http://i.livescience.com/images/070917_sleeping_baby_02.jpg

*counters with cute, like a real live Care Bear Stare*

Really? I guess I have two monsters. ^_^ They’re the cutest lil monsters ever, in my very biased opinion.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong but I believe ignoring crying until a baby gives up is the standard MO in orphanages, in countries where orphans are known to suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder, which has a tendency to cause sociopathic disorders, complete lack of empathy, and severe anti-social behaviors (actions that are deemed “monstrous” by most civilized societies).

So… which is more likely to result in a human being whose behavior is monstrous? Sleeping with my baby, responding to his cries, and building a strong bond with him? Or ignoring his every peep until he gives up and learns no one is coming, and no one cares if he cries alone in the dark?

I realize there are ways to do controlled-crying where the child is not left alone for the whole night, that’s not what I am referring to, I was addressing the remarks above about “you will hardly know your baby is there if you teach him who is boss.” I feel physically ill just thinking about it.

More stupidity… I bedshared with mine until they were 10 months old and THEN moved them to the crib and they both sleep pretty much as they always have. The girl never slept anyway and still wakes up too much, the boy always slept well and continues to do so. Personality seems to make more difference than where they sleep as a newborn. At least with my kids.

Well, both my kids (one former cosleeper and one current) like to growl….so I guess I do have monsters.
In all seriousness though, an L&D nurse has no place dispensing parenting advice. Blah.

My daughter will be 22 months tomorrow and she still sleeps with me at some point almost every night or early morning. The rest of the time she’s in her bed which is up against mine. Everyone talks about how affectionate and smart she is (her doctor said her vocabulary is more like a 3 or 4 year old). I have never been able to let her “cry it out” and it makes me want to cry when I see people using the “completly ignore the baby until it’s convenient for the parent” method (used for sleeping, feeding, dirty diapers, etc). I can sometimes let my temper get the better of me and I did tell my oh-so-helpful relative know what I thought about her sage advice. I hope the OP told the pediatric nurse exactly what she thought about the advice about creating a monster.

hahahahahhahha…Oh, I’m so sorry but…..hahahaha
no really, I’m ok. Clearly, this higher than average intelligence nurse has solved the mystery of all of societies problems. Babies sleeping with their mothers! Who could have possibly known?! Here, all this time, I was thinking that my kids were just babies that didn’t cry constantly. That they grew to be toddlers that were affectionate and healthy. That they continued to grow into teenagers who *gasp* will hug their mother in public and tell her that they love her.
All this time I was wondering where I had gone wrong that I didn’t have children that were emotionally detached!! OH THE HUMANITY!!
Thanks for laugh!

Ha! Not only do I have zombies, I have monsters too!

Funny, my children are the only ones of their cousins who co-slept. Now my MIL claims that they are the best behaved of all her grandchildren. Compare that to their cousins who cryed it out. Hmmm. Makes one wonder.

Hmmmm, my monsters are now in their 30s and seem pretty well-adjusted to me. And I STILL remember how sweet they seemed next to me (and how wonderful I felt when I had gotten a decent night’s sleep).

Yep. Well-rested monsters. With a well-rested mommy!
My eldest co-slept till she was 2 1/2, and switched right into her own bed, doesn’t crawl in with us any more often than most 3 year-olds. My little guy is 22 months, still in with us, and will probably get his own bed in with his sister in the next few months (not sure when ’cause we are anticipating a move–hopefully, hopefully, the last one for awhile–within the next few months)

Wow, I didn’t know my step-father was a monster! And since he was born and raised in Japan, where (at least then) basically the whole country cosleeps, I know he coslept with his parents… funny, but he really seems like a nice guy. And my kids seem pretty great, too, but I guess what do I know? Of course, that makes me a monster, too! And my husband…

We got lucky, our nurse we had in the hospital after my daughter was born was the on that told us it was okay to sleep with her if we wanted to. I’m eternally grateful for it because that was the moment her father also accept that it was okay (Prior to that he wanted to, but afraid that it wasn’t safe).

But a comment like the one above is totally inappropriate. I would have been furious.

LOL! I was told something along these lines more times than I can count. My first started out in the bassinet next to the bed, but seeing as my husband worked nights at the time, she started sharing the king sized bed with me because there was plenty of room. She was in the NICU her first five days and seems to be a very clingy, touchy-feely kind of girl, but she slept like a dream when she was close to me. She still likes to come sleep with us, especially when she’s stressed or anxious.

My second decided at three months that she did not sleeping with us and moved to her own space in a separate room. When she wakes up or is not feeling well we’ll cuddle up together, but that’s about the only time.

Sleeping arrangements are totally up to the kids, though. Since I work and I’m away from them so much, sleeping together is a great way to reconnect.

I have two of the best-adjusted “monsters” I’ve ever seen–one is 26 years old and one is 23 years old. They moved to their own bedroom together when they were about 4-1/2 and 2. And stayed in their own room without incident. Believe me, when they were teens, they wouldn’t have *dreamed* of coming into our bedroom.

They are now best friends and I’m convinced it’s partly because of the co-sleeping and some of the other parenting choices we made.

My younger daughter got married earlier this summer and just moved to India with her husband. Her mother-in-law has been amazed by how well she has dealt with all the changes in her life in the past year.

Bottom line, sleeping arrangements are up to the parents and no one else. Parents want to do what’s right for their children, and will do so if they’re not impaired in some way.

I was bedridden for the first 3 months postpartum. There is no way I could have not co-slept. He moved to his crib at around 5-6 months because neither of us were sleeping well together. But to this day when he wakes at night to nurse he might sleep a few hours with me. <3

ummm, years ago, it was common practice for the whole family to sleep in the same room, many times sharing beds, if not just one… Lots of monsters running around.

While what this nurse said was uncalled-for and inapropriate, she might have been speaking from her own experience. My sister co-slept my older nephew, and when he was old enough for her to want him to sleep in his own room (around 3) he’d scream like heck when she put him to bed, and climb right into theirs. It took TWO YEARS before he would spend a whole night it his own bed. To give the nurse the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn’t mean the child’s personality would be monsterous, but getting the child to sleep in her own bed?

To me these kind of comments really show how few people in our medical profession have any sort of concept of other cultures or history! There are exceptionally few cultures where ANYONE sleeps by themselves. Babies sleep with mommies, sibblings sleep together until they get married and go sleep with their spouses. Anthopologically speaking the American concept of 1 to a bed/bedroom is just plain unnatural! Btw, my in laws, who all tend more towards ‘put the baby DOWN’ type of parenting, are all so captivated by how social, smiley, and confident my own 2 little ‘monsters’ are. (My sister in law is the only one who has commented that maybe it’s because I do babywearing/cosleeping/etc)

I actually agree with this statement. I also agree that if you always put your baby in his own bed you’ll make a monster. Because, all toddlers are monsters. Cute, charming, funny monsters, but monsters nevertheless.

My son is almost 6 and he still cuddles in bed with me sometimes. He did just a couple of nights ago, actually. He loves falling asleep with Mommy’s arms around him and I love having a warm cuddly boy to snuggle with all night. Some nights I offer to let him sleep in the big bed because we’ve had a tough day and we need some re-bonding time.

I coslept with him until he was a year old and we started waking each other up. I tried the crib for a couple of days and that so did not work. So I put him in a regular twin bed and he was fine from then on.

Co-sleeping just wasn’t for us (I have sleep problems already, and I just couldn’t rest), BUT DANG, I think whatever works for the mom/family is fine, and this was the STUPIDEST thing to say! I’m glad she was made to come back and apologize.

My co-sleeping “monster” is now 8. He’s been sleeping in his own bed & room for nearly 5 years now.

I also had a nurse take off with my daughter in the hospital when I dosed off. Yep, she took the baby from me in the bed, put her in the little cart and tried to leave. I demanded her back in and was told I couldn’t sleep with her in the bed. I was about 4-5 hrs post delivery and ended up signing out AMA by that evening.