Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Aug
5
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Thoughtful Thursday! “Don’t Be Afraid Of That Pain.”
“Don’t be afraid of that pain.” -Nurse to mother who was pushing her baby out.
There are 15 comments to this post.
It is more helpful to pharse your “encouragement” in the positive. Such as This is happening rather than all the things that are not happening. Or concentrate on your breathing rather than Don’t think about the pain. Look at the pretty red rose gets the person looking at the pretty red rose. Don’t think about the elephant in the room, gets the person staring at the elephant in the room. Tell a two year old not to touch the stove. Now tell the two year old that the stove is HOT.
I’m sure since the OP submitted it it was a good thing to her at the time. Circumstances, tone, etc. But others reading along for advice, you can do better than this.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Aug 5, 2010 @ 2:54 pm (Quote)
Depending on context and tone of voice, this is an extremely supportive comment, and since it got posted today, I’m assuming the OP noted it as such.
Good timing from my perspective. I’m sitting here typing in early labour. (I think. We’ll see.)
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Yvonne Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 3:11 pm (Quote)
I’m on pins and needles, Sarah. But I’m trying not to bug you too much. 
<3 <3 <3
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Kit Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 3:14 pm (Quote)
How exciting! Lots of the best thoughts for you and your family.
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I can definitely see how this could be helpful during an intense pushing stage. The mom maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed, and holding back from allowing her body to push because of being afraid of the “ring of fire” perhaps.
I know when I am in end-stage labor I tend to speak in 2-3 word sentences. “I’m scared. It hurts.” would be about all I would manage. A kind “You’re doing great, don’t be afraid of that pain, keep pushing your baby out” would go a LONG way to making me feel supported! Hooray for supportive caring nurses.
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This was me. My son was crowning and since I had an epidural with my first son, I had never felt the ring of fire. It so surprised me and hurt that I stopped pushing, and he actually went back up the birth canal. I heard a voice behind me say, “Don’t be afraid of that pain, that’s good pain. You’ll get to meet your son soon.” That was all I needed to hear and my son was born about 3 pushes later.
All in all, it was an amazing experience. I had an amazing midwife, who was present almost the entire time I labored (on hands and knees). She was simply there, to provide support but never to push. The nurses just let me labor, they didn’t coach, or try to get me to accept pain medication, or make me lay on my back. My son was born in quiet and calm. Truly, the best experience.
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I like it, but did she explain why? Because that would be even better!
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Heather P Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 5:43 am Heather P(Quote)
I don’t really think the pushing stage would be an appropriate time to go into long explanations. But I like it too.
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Sheva Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 6:22 am Sheva(Quote)
True. I just meant something along the lines of, “That is a normal sensation, it doesn’t mean something is wrong/going to tear (or whatever the mom’s concern may have been).” Or, “I can see everything progressing/the baby coming down in an excellent position.”
I think reassurance should be accompanied by something, not just, “Trust me, I know.”
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