Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Aug
3
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You’re Going To Die, Your Baby Is Going To Die…Is That What You Want?”
You’re going to die, your baby is going to die, you’re going to leave your first child motherless and your husband a widower…is that what you want? I’ll give you prenatal care , but you’ll have to sign a waiver exonerating me of all responsibility from the outcome of your birth.” -OB to a mother who stated she wanted to have a home birth after cesarean.
There are 25 comments to this post.
“Everyone dies eventually, Doctor. Now, about my homebirth…”
Didn’t we cover something like this a few weeks ago on this site? “If you birth at home, your baby will die, and you will die, and your husband will die, and the nurse will die, and the newspaper boy will die, and the man who waters my garden will die, and little fluffy bunnies will die, and if life arises on another planet, someone there will die too.”
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Sheva Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 8:27 pm (Quote)
Awww, leave the wee bunnies alone!
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yeah, this one’s mine too…same day…same doctor…same visit….again, I left and never looked back…I HAD my home birth with NO complications whatsoever, and my children have a mother, and my husband still has a wife….and it’s the same one that had his children. 
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Emily Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:15 pm (Quote)
OH I also went to another practice to get an ultrasound at 20 weeks to make sure the placenta wasn’t growing over my c-section scar. This particular prenatal visit that you see above was at about 8 weeks. I did this because the ultrasound was going to be free through my insurance if I had one of their OB offices perform the ultrasound. I had to pay for my midwife out of pocket and I would have had to pay separately for the ultrasound…so I thought I’d work the system a bit… Somehow, the other OB that I hired to care for me until I could get an ultrasound, found out that I was planning a home birth and I got a frantic call from the nurse on staff saying that I had to come into the office immediately to discuss how dangerous a home birth VBAC was going to be. I told her that I would like a copy of my medical records and the ultrasound results, and that I would no longer be their patient either. Hindsight being what it is, I should have sued for violation of HIPPA law because the ONLY way this OB could have found out I was planning a home birth was from the previous doc that I had walked out on….
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Jane Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:34 pm (Quote)
Not necessarily a HIPAA violation. Did you give them permission to get your records from the first practice? That might have been recorded in that. The previous doctor may have told the insurance company, which may have notified the second practice.
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Emily Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 3:23 am (Quote)
There were no records to transfer. I didn’t sign anything while I was in the office.
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Jane Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 3:42 am (Quote)
What doesn’t make sense is how Doctor A (above) would even know you were going to see Doctor B (the second practice) in order to call them to let them know.
BTW, if he *did* do that, think how much you upset him! Because doctors lose patients all the time when they transfer care, but if he felt the need to be vindictive, that means you really got under his skin by refusing to be cowed and by knowing your stuff.
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Alyson Miers Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:41 pm (Quote)
Isn’t it funny, how they’re always happy to tell you what a nightmarishly dangerous thing a home birth is, but they never seem to be concerned about the dangers of a repeat Cesarean? Never seem to be in any rush to discuss the risks of induction, or anesthesia, or Pitocin, or the self-fulfilling prophecy that is EFM, or…
…but do something that doesn’t need their help, and boom, there they are to save you from yourself.
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ANONYMOUS Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 3:02 pm (Quote)
There is a group in my area that has started a local pregnancy support discussion board on Facebook. One local medwife–who works for a VERY interventive OB practice–has taken to private messaging every member of this group who says she is planning a homebirth to tell her how dangerous this is, and suggest that they come to her practice–where they will not be promised to get a midwife because she is the only midwife in the practice, and has set call hours rather than women who want to have a midwife being able to have her on call for them. Many of the women planning to home birth are actually working with a midwife with about 20 years experience who used to be this rather young medwife’s employer (hospital births only when they were working together).
I’m a regular poster on this site…but for this post…I want to be anonymous.
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Nicholas Fogelson, MD Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 8:16 am (Quote)
Its not a HIPPA violation for two physicians to discuss the care of a patient they have in common.
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Maybe I need a t-shirt that says: I survived my HBAC! : ) I heard all this weekly from my family during my last pregnancy. I am alive and well and expecting my 2nd HBAC in September.
It’s too bad they wouldn’t just trust my own judgement for once, because now our relationship is still strained.
EMily, glad you got your HBAC! : )
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Wow. I’m not surprised that an OB would say this, but I am surprised that an OB could really be so stupid to either think that this is true, or think that a woman who has already done the research and come to an informed decision would be stupid enough to fall for that card. IMO, any mother who decides to go the homebirth route is more educated on natural childbirth than 99% of OB’s in practice. But hey, what do I know?
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 8:14 am (Quote)
I’m not surprised. I think the majority of obstetricians believe this. The majority of laypeople seem to believe it, after all. If I had a dime for every time someone told me, “Wow, you gave birth AT HOME? On purpose? You’re very brave. I’d be terrified to do that – what if I died? or my baby died? I just couldn’t do it!” I’d be able to pay off my considerable student loans.
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Brittney Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 8:37 am (Quote)
I guess you’re right. As a “high risk” homebirth patient (I have an incompetent cervix so I have to receive the majority of my prenatal care from an OB. He’s homebirth friendly, but still an OB, and he’s over an hour away), I recently went to the hospital by my house to have my cerclage checked because I had some spotting and needed to make sure I wasn’t dilating with the cerclage in because it could cause my cervix to tear, and the L&D nurses were AWFUL. I think I remained calm, and even went on and on explaining how dangerous even the smallest intervention is, like IV’s and not being allowed to eat or drink, and that while I had my 1st 2 babies at that hospital, none of the Drs or Nurses were competent enough to “handle” a natural birth, and since the midwife I had with my 1st 2 babies was no longer there, I wasn’t going to risk having the same interventions this time around.
Every time they brought up a “risk” of homebirth, I had a rebuttal backed by evidenced based care, and even though one of the nurses said she didn’t believe there was evidence that showed homebirth was safer than the hospital, I told her I would email it to her if she gave me her email address, and that I would appreciate some evidence that EFM, IV fluids, Pitocin, the lithotomy position, being denied food and drink, etc was safer. Needless to say, she never gave me her email address, even after I asked her again.
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This obviuosly isn’t mine but when I was in labour & having hard contractions with my first the OB read my birth plan that stated that I didn’t want the 3rd stage of labour managed & I refused to consent to the injection to expel the placenta. He told me I would bleed to death and my husband would have to raise my baby as a widower. I still signed the AMA and ended up with a C/s anyway. HBAC, here i come for #2.
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JulietsButterfly had this to say,
Aug 4, 2010 @ 5:43 am (Quote)
What’s even more sad is that I’ve had people throw the argument at me, even though I never had a c/s. Home birth is too “icky” or “dangerous”. I can practically throw a rock at my hospital and hit it, but it would be unsafe to give birth at home in case of an emergency. I ended up checking into the hospital, but only because home birth is illegal in my state and my OB is a really good non-interventionist baby catcher.
If home birth is really that dangerous, then how did the human race survive for so long?
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Robyn Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 5:53 am (Quote)
I just want to point out that there is not a single state in which home birth is illegal. Many states have laws in place that make it illegal to have a midwife attend your birth, but they cannot dictate where you birth. For example, North Carolina (where I live) the law states that a woman is allowed to birth anywhere she chooses, but can only be attended by a CNM. If you have a DEM attend your birth, it’s not you that risks getting in trouble with the law.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 8:11 am (Quote)
Yes. It’s a fine line that not everybody is aware of, but the law does not prosecute people who give birth unassisted, whether deliberately or on accident due to unexpected precipitous labour.
It’s the midwives the law goes after. They’re the ones who face criminal charges, sometimes even flony charges depending on the state. It also depends on what kind of midwife you choose, and the law dictates how much care (if any) a midwife is allowed to provide. Here in Indiana, midwives who are not certified NURSE midwives are not allowed to attend home births at all – they are considered to be practicing medicine without a license, and it is a felony. NURSE midwives may attend home births here, but may not actually assist! Basically they can be the equivalent of a Lamaze monitrice. And maybe catch the baby when it comes out, although there better not be any assistance required (even unwrapping a nuchal cord might pose a legal problem, although in practice, who would know?)
Every year for more than a decade, the midwives and homebirth supporters in Indiana have tried to get a bill through the state legislature that would legalize homebirthing midwifery with a CNM, CPM, or CM. Every year the bill has been stalled or killed, usually by the same handful of obstructionist senators. One of them was a maternity ward nurse several decades ago; a couple of them are doctors. Big surprise, huh?
It’s maddening.
And of course, although it is not ILLEGAL to give birth unassisted, especially if you can claim it was an accident and you show up terrified and penitent in the emergency room shortly after the birth, the state can always sic child protective services on you if they suspect your freebirth was deliberate, claiming that they suspect you of neglect.
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Brittney Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 8:41 am (Quote)
I believe in Nebraska (not 100% sure of the state, but I think it is) it’s illegal for the father to catch the baby, or anyone other than the mother during a homebirth, but most of the time it is not prosecuted. I am not 100% on that, but its something along those lines…
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Aug 4, 2010 @ 8:00 am (Quote)
What I want is a competent, respectful, polite, well-informed back-up provider to provide shadow care during my pregnancy in case something goes wrong (I already have a midwife for primary care).
You do not qualify.
Let’s call the whole thing off.
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Add Your Comment.
Wow, got to say that sounds scary… yet I haven’t lost a mom in 22+ years, regardless of past history!!! but what do I know, just lots of EXPERIENCE!! wonder how many dead mamas he/she has???
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