Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jul
20
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Unless You Have An Elective Cesarean At 38 Weeks, The Baby and You Will Die.”
“Unless you have an elective cesarean at 38 weeks, the baby and you will die.” -OB to mother with two prior cesareans.
There are 39 comments to this post.
The dead baby card can be very effective. But when they use it so often its like The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
According to the many comments here The baby will die if
the mother had a previous cesearean,
the baby is “too big”,
the baby is “too small”,
the mother is “too small”,
the mother is “too big”,
it is the mother’s first baby,
if the mother has had many babies,
the mother gives birth in the water,
if the mother gets in the water at any point in labor,
if the mother doesn’t use the anti-gravity lithotomy position,
if the mother moves at all,
if the mother eats or drinks anything,
she doesn’t submit to continuous monitoring,
she doesnt’ get an IV,
they don’t cut the cord right away,
they don’t wash the baby right away (baby rot),
they don’t cut an episiotomy,
the baby is born at home,
the mother has a midwife,
the mother is not induced,
a doctor doesn’t catch the baby,
if the mother reaches 42, I mean, 41, oops, 40, No scratch that, 37 weeks of pregnancy.
Did I miss any?
[Reply]
Heather P Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 5:04 am (Quote)
I thought of more.
The mother has a birth plan,
the mother asks a question of the doctor,
the mother has a doula,
the mother doesn’t want an epidural,
the mother wants her partner present.
If anything goes well its the doctor’s triumph because he/she is all knowing. If anything goes wrong its all the mother’s fault because she didn’t listen to the doctor or was defective in some other way.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 5:16 am (Quote)
If the mother doesn’t allow them to supplement with formula.
If the mother doesn’t allow eleventy blood draws within the first six hours of life.
If the baby isn’t removed from the mother’s body warmth and stuck in a warmer to be alone for two hours
If the mother doesn’t sign a blanket consent form on entry to the hospital
And the one my pediatrician’s office pulled on me: if I don’t give my baby iron supplements, he’ll end up severely brain damaged. (His blood iron was 11.2. They wanted it at 11.4.)
[Reply]
mamamor Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 9:12 am (Quote)
And the penis rot / AIDS if you don’t circumcise.
Not to mention the Vitamin K, Hep B, etc shots.
I got bawled out by a NICU resident(?) for not doing all the vaccinations at birth. Which reminds me…
If the mom is young.
If the mom is poor.
If the mom is on medicaid.
My doctor wrote me a script for iron supplements too (after I told him I didn’t think we needed it) “so I could look it up and do the research.” Unfortunately for him I called my friend and midwife, asking, well, wouldn’t my milk come with everything he needs what with hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and all? Yeah.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 11:24 am (Quote)
If the mother is “elderly primagravida” or “elderly multiparous with prior uterine surgery” (elderly, here, meaning over the age of thirty).
If there are multiple babies in the same womb.
If the baby is breech, occiput posterior, or in any other “unusual” position.
If the mother has any sort of “special needs.”
If the mother has any chronic health condition. Or acute illness, including, no doubt, a common cold.
[Reply]
lisa Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 6:22 am (Quote)
dont forget they will die if the mom uses a twinkle light toating doula too..
[Reply]
Dawn Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 6:50 am (Quote)
If the mother doesn’t bend and do what the doctor/nurse wants…dead baby
I recall complaining after my 6th was born to the OB (who was not there, I had the OB on call and also had no doc in the room when the baby was born). The nurse was abusive to me in my opinion, and I was not allowed free movement (yes, I am a strong woman but in labor I was just wanting to please everyone else…who knows why). The OB actually said, “but your baby had that one decel.” One decel and my nurse had to do cervical checks every 20 minutes, I was confined to bed, couldn’t use the bathroom for hours, had to have my cervix stretched…etc. The OB mentioned that I needed to think about the baby. “I’m sorry your birth experience was not what you wanted but you had that one decel.” I actually believe I had the decel because the nurse put me flat on my back. I believe the interventions were actually causing my baby distress.
Oh, and my babies have always had meconium, the OB made sure I knew that too. 7 children and meconium…no dead baby in those births. Had mec this last time too, and the midwife put the baby right up on me after she was out (not sure if she suctioned or not…). No special treatments, nothing. Yes, oxygen on my chest right with my baby…but that’s it. No dead baby. Hmmmm. I’ve even had one baby with an apgar of 1 right at birth. She’s turning 5 this month and is very healthy and normal. No dead baby.
Not nice to use the dead baby card or imply it unless there is a real problem and if that’s the case, they should have me already wheeling to the ER.
[Reply]
CCindy Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 8:41 am (Quote)
If your baby had “that one decel” why wasn’t the jackass sitting next to you every minute after that? Of course you are better off that he didn’t because he would have gotten bored and felt useless and ordered a c-section. Still he should have gotten himself there in time to catch. Sorry DOC you can’t have it both ways.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:43 am (Quote)
Because they want it both ways. Birth is a terrible emergency during which you must be in the hospital, but it’s actually pretty predictable so the doctor doesn’t need to be there.
Same here: that one decel was a terrible horrible no good very bad thing and justifies all sorts of medical care EXCEPT for the doctor’s presence.
[Reply]
Gee, that is funny I tried to VBAC at 41 weeks and even though my scar was open, baby and I both suffered NO damage what-so-ever. Well yes, I had to recover from another C-section. But I was up and around about 12 hours later and his apgars were good. And he is 11 years old now. So I think I would have noticed if he was dead. Get over yourself you lieing bastard! 38 weeks my behind. A failed VBAC is better than scheduling. At least then you know baby is ready, or as ready as possible if he decides to come early.
[Reply]
beccaisadoula had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 5:03 am (Quote)
The dead baby card seriously gets old. I honestly don’t know how humanity has gotten this far…
[Reply]
But you guys have missed an important innovation! This time the mother AND her baby will die! This is the “dead mom, dead baby, orphaned children, widowed husband” card. If the doctor could only work in her weeping black-veiled mother standing over her daughter’s untimely grave, it would be a full house.
[Reply]
Katherine Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 1:03 pm (Quote)
“If the doctor could only work in her weeping black-veiled mother standing over her daughter’s untimely grave, it would be a full house.”
LOL…if the doc tried this with me (thankfully I’m with a midwife now, so it doesn’t matter) I’d laugh my a&& off because my mother would dance on my grave!! 
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 1:34 pm (Quote)
Ouch–I’m sorry.
It’s just the litany. “If I don’t do this unnecessary thing, the baby will die, and you will die, and your husband will die, and your neighbor’s children will die, and the man who delivers your pizza will die, and your third-grade teacher will die, and little baby bunnies will die, and entire ecosystems will die.” Okay, doc. Thanks for that.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 3:02 pm (Quote)
Can we work in a pet dog that dies of heartbreak, the father quitting his job to take care of his children (or, better yet, having a nervous breakdown and getting fired) and the family losing their house to the bank, and an ailing, senile grandmother who needed caretaking and has to sell off her assets and family heirlooms to qualify for the Medicaid that is the only way to pay for the nursing home she will now have to be placed in, now that her family is in no position to care for her?
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 3:14 pm (Quote)
No, that’s if you delay cord-clamping.
[Reply]
The WellRounded Mama Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 9:51 pm (Quote)
Wow, sounds like a bad country-and-western song!
Quick, someone, write the chorus for this song!
[Reply]
Knitted in the Womb had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 7:43 am (Quote)
Doc, just one question…if this cesarean is so life saving, why are you referring to it as “elective?”
[Reply]
Knitted in the Womb Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 7:45 am (Quote)
Oh…and BTW…I attended a VBA2C 2 weeks ago. Mom was a few days shy of 40 weeks. She and her baby seemed very much alive when I did her post-partum visit.
[Reply]
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 7:52 am (Quote)
Translating OB to English:
“If you could be persuaded to submit to major surgery a first and a second time, I’m not about to give up a chance to do it again!”
[Reply]
Unfortunately this lie is so common I really think it’s taught to them as a truthfull fact. I was told the same thing a couple of years ago when discussing with my family practice doctor the possibility of trying for a 3rd child. I then went to another family practice and an OB was told the same thing by them. That because I had 2 c-sections and a very prominate scar, I would not be able to have a natural birth. I was devasted, but I knew I just could not possibly go through that surgery again. Both my pregnancies were very difficult, so I let the doctors convince me that it would be safer for my health if I didn’t have anymore. I had my tubes tied through laproscopic surgey. It was later that I realized that this is just one of the common lies they tell us women. Now my husband will never have a biological child (the two we have are from my first marriage). I thought for sure after getting advice from 3 seperate doctors and it being the same, that it must be true. Now I trust doctors about as far as I can throw them.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 11:06 am (Quote)
Funny, I thought “elective” meant, you know, elective. Not mandatory. Not emergency. Not absolutely life-saving.
I suppose for insurance purposes, any scheduled surgery is going to be classifed as “elective,” even when it is said by an idiot doctor to be absolutely necessary because there is a one hundred percent chance of your uterus blowing out like an overinflated balloon if you have had any prior c-sections and somehow manage to go into labour before you make it to the operating room. (Never mind that there are no statistics supporting that view. None.)
Still, it sounds awfully fishy.
[Reply]
jespren had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 2:30 pm (Quote)
I just have one to add:
If mom has a previous shoulder dystocia baby.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 2:57 pm (Quote)
Oh, yeah. Because once a mother has given birth one way, she will always give birth that way, and all her babies, likewise, will be the same weight and build.
[Reply]
JulietsButterfly Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:44 am (Quote)
Uh oh! My kids weren’t the same weight at birth. And I didn’t tear with my second…was I supposed to? Each and every pregnancy a woman has is different than the others. My grandma of 9 kids will tell you every difference her pgs between #1 and #9. None of them were the same weight or came out exactly the same.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 22nd, 2010 at 12:49 pm (Quote)
Mine neither. I guess we’re freaks of nature. Quick, call Ripley’s.
[Reply]
Interesting. I have only had one baby have complications after birth, the one forced out at 37 weeks due to his “big size”. I have delivered a baby at age 19, most of my babies were bigger than normal, 4 of them were completely unmedicated, no episiotomies, one at home without a dr or midwife present, and I just had a vba2c at the age of 38 with my 10th child. So many Drs have been so very wrong and it was in my wonderful family dr where I finally found everything right. 
[Reply]
The WellRounded Mama had this to say,
Jul 20, 2010 @ 9:59 pm (Quote)
I’m a VBA2C momma, twice over. Somehow my babies and I all survived going past 38 weeks AND having a VBAC….it’s a miracle!
What an idiot doctor. It never fails to amaze me what kind of crap some doctors try to pull on VBAC women, especially VBAMC moms. And to try and schedule someone at 38 weeks, when we KNOW just how risky that is now……!!!
Sheesh. If anyone reading wants to see a whole bunch of stories of successful and healthy VBA2C moms, VBA3C moms, VBA4C moms, and even a VBA7C mom, be sure to check out my website, http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org and the VBAMC Stories FAQ.
Women DO have VBACs after multiple cesareans (VBAMC). It’s not so easy to find an attendant for one these days, but they DO still happen.
[Reply]
The WellRounded Mama had this to say,
Jul 22, 2010 @ 8:31 pm (Quote)
Inquiring minds want to know….did this mother give in to the bullying and have a repeat c/s? Heavens, I hope not.
Just had to come back and note that ACOG just revised its VBAC guidelines and VBAC after 2 prior cesareans is now “allowed” again.
Oh, and by the way, a meta-analysis of VBA2C studies found that the risk for the baby suffering an asphyxial injury or dying during a VBA2C trial of labor was 0.09%. Hardly in line with what this doc was telling this mother.
http://www.pubmed.gov/19781046
Too bad this OB doesn’t actually read the research!
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
I wonder if doctors like this have a Rolodex of horrible, nasty lies to tell a woman who’s pregnant. If that doesn’t work, move to another card. Save the really bad, stupid, pointless, heartless and pathetic stuff for the back and use those when nothing else seems to be working.
[Reply]