Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jul
19
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You Just Don’t Know What You Are Doing Because This Is Your First Baby.”
“You just don’t know what you are doing because this is your first baby.” -L&D Nurse to first time mother during pushing, when the mother said that she felt like the baby was not moving with the pushes.
There are 23 comments to this post.
Maybe it’s not working because I’m not hooked up to the machine that goes “PING”.Everyone knows that first time moms can’t push baby out without it.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:29 am (Quote)
Wow! There are hospitals out there that actually give first time mothers a choice? (Legally, she always has a choice in the matter, of course, but not a lot of first time mothers know that.)
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A little encouragement would be better than being so negative.
My first baby didn’t feel like she was moving down either, but she was. I got great encouragement from the nurses who told me I was a great pusher. My second baby I could really feel moving down quickly.
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Jul 19, 2010 @ 6:06 am (Quote)
Believe me, mama, this nurse doesn’t know what she’s doing after MANY babies. … This is just one facet of what’s wrong with the maternity model of “care” in this country today!
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That’s funny, our bodies were MADE to do this amazing thing so by virtue we pretty much instinctively know what to do. It does help to have someone with some experience or knowledge to help, but its not necessary either.
I had a nurse tell me during my son’s birth that it would feel like I wasn’t getting anywhere at first. She mentioned the whole two steps forward, one step back thing.
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How about… it never feels like the baby is moving, but I am telling you honestly, you ARE making progress and despite what you might think in this moment, you WILL push this baby out!
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If they were making her purple-push in the lithotomy position it’s quite possible the baby WASN’T moving down. But let’s make it the mom’s fault instead of possibly thinking their “protocol” could be the problem, hmmm?
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:30 am (Quote)
Heresy! You can’t say that! You might prevent another c-section for “failure to progress!”
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*scrathes head* So is mom doing it right but feeling it wrong or doing it wrong and correctly feeling like something is wrong? I don’t see where the nurse has any suggestions for the right way to “do it” So I guess the mom is feeling it wrong *scrathes head* again??? Very useful information – don’t you think? thanks so much for coming to “care” for me. You have been unbelievably helpful *snort*!
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The nurse probably hadn’t set up the “twinkle lights” correctly, either. 
I agree with CCindy — not sure what the nurse was actually saying. Maybe what this first time mom needed was someone to encourage her in her efforts or help her interpret what her body was saying, instead of just saying “you’re an idiot” (which we all know is not only not helpful, but dead wrong!).
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CCindy Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:44 am (Quote)
Here here, more twinkle lights! Mabye what the nurse was thinking was well of course you aren’t making any progress laying on your back, but I can’t tell you to get up or squat. They would fire me for sure and I have a mortgage to pay! I would make a miserable nurse.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jul 19, 2010 @ 9:25 am (Quote)
And you think YOU know what you’re doing? HAH!
Oh, wait. That’s the voice of an experienced mother talking. Isn’t it fortunate that there are voices of experience at hand to combat the forces of conventional lunacy?
In the meantime, I daresay that if the mother doesn’t feel the baby is making any progress, she can sense better than any nurse what is going on in her own body.
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I had a friend tell me that when she had her baby (unmedicated) 25 years ago the nurses told her she wasn’t pushing right, and it took her a while to get it. I don’t really get that- but maybe being on her back was impeding progress?
The nurse told me that I pushed like someone with lots of kids, haha. Of course it helped that she was crowning when we got there.
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CCindy Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 11:43 am (Quote)
You have no idea how much I would have paid to have had my first one crowning when I got to the hospital. Seriously, that would have saved me so much trouble!
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sara Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 11:49 am (Quote)
I wish that everyone could have a labor/birth experience like I had. I really mean that! It would have been a little less hectic if we had planned to stay home, and if I had believed that maybe I would just have a faster labor than the books said…but I wouldn’t trade lounging in my tub at home thinking that I was in “early labor”, then straight to transition and pushing for anything! That’s about as good as it gets in a hospital. We only made it because we live 5 minutes from the hospital… (she said sadly).
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CCindy Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 12:13 pm (Quote)
My plan was to have the first one at the hospital and then the next one or two at home. Never, never should have gone to that last prenatal appointment. Doc thought I was 8 days past my due date (accoding to LMP) I knew I was 3 or 5 days past my due date according to conception, but knew that my mother delivered me 11 days after due date and my brother 10 days after due date (according to LMP of course) So I wasn’t actually expecting her for a few more days and completely unconcerned. Then I got the stripping of membranes (without consent or warning) and the spontaneous breaking of water without subsequent labor at home that evening. Followed by a night in the hospital where nothing was happening. and a day of Pitocin and of course ending in a c-section. Oh did I say ending, No what I meant was followed by the crazy woman in charge of lung therapy who made me cough through breast feeding. The nurses smoking at their station (yes this was 25 years ago) and the doctors who all magically disappeared without writing my discharge papers. (It was Saturday.) My first act of definance was to tell them I was taking my daughter and going home where 3 people would wait on my hand and foot and be quiet when I needed them to so they damn well better get somebody to sign something if it was all that freaking important to them! Oh yeah even though the nurses were allowed to smoke on the floor, grandparents weren’t permitted to touch the babies who were going back to the nursery. Well guess who got my little bundle dressed for our escape/departure? They found somebody to sign me out when they realized that my child had been contaminated! Ha
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sara Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 12:19 pm (Quote)
Wow, that’s quite a story! It’s funny how the hospital doesn’t want you to leave- I mean, why not?! Everyone is healthy…and most of the people here are sick. Usually they are booting you out of the door as soon as you’re better. I guess maybe they know that insurance will pay for longer?
I can’t imagine letting nurses smoke around babies! It is seriously amazing that anyone is alive on this planet…
Did you have your other babies at home?
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CCindy Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 8:28 am (Quote)
NO, as you read around you will find I’m the one who tried to VBAC twice, but failed for actual reasons (and nobody died when I tried to VBAC at or past 41 weeks) and my second doctor treated me like a human being. That to me is the key. My first doctor with the stripping of the membranes without consent, the comment about women should come with zippers, He was a moron! My second doctor was a gem. Alright, so he didn’t know how to deliver a transverse baby vaginally, who does? And I just told the third story this week with the small window in my uterus that caused dysfunctional labor. No death, no hysterectomy, because there was no pitocin. And hey I got to 6 all on my own in spite of my history and condition. That was a lot easier than getting to 7 the first time. Have I mentioned that Pitocin is EVIL!
The nurses weren’t smoking around the babies. They were just covered in it and it was allowed to float down the hallways. They were only allowed to smoke at the nurses station – which was in the middle of the floor without special ventation or even walls. The babies had their own walls. I was not so lucky. Between the smoking and the noise and the witch with the sulphur compound I wanted out of there so bad. Do they still use that sulphur therapy to fight/prevent pneunoimia after general anesthia? I have a feeling that practise was out of date when they did it to me. I’ve never seen anybody else comment on it since.
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sara Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 12:04 pm (Quote)
ugh, and whenever I type that it sounds like I’m bragging. I’m not…I really want to encourage other first-time moms and help them have hope that they might have a pretty easy labor also. Don’t get me wrong, I did have some intense contractions, so it wasn’t pain-free, but it wasn’t anything like what people see on tv, either. I hope that I can give others a positive outlook on their births
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How about, “It’s a two steps forward, one step back process”? Or, “You can do this!”? COME ON PEOPLE! UGH!
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