Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jul
17
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Labor Hurts More Than That, You Know.”
“And you said you wanted a natural birth, labor hurts more than that, you know.” -OB to mother after a stretch and sweep that had the mother in tears and was performed without permission.
There are 33 comments to this post.
Liz Belden Handler had this to say,
Jul 17, 2010 @ 3:59 pm (Quote)
So…Is this Mama suing? I’d be thinking about it…
[Reply]
Jennifer Z. Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 8:02 pm (Quote)
Yeah right. Good luck finding a lawyer who will even talk to you about something like this. You can’t sue when a million OB’s could testify saying it is the standard of care.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:40 am (Quote)
Not to mention, it’s also a “woman’s issue.” It’s still hard to get convictions on assaults the legal system recognizes as literal rape. This sort of violation of consent would be almost impossible to prosecute.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
August 24th, 2010 at 11:35 am (Quote)
I hope she IS suing – if they performed that kind of procedure without consent, it’s akin to sexual assault (as mentioned in another reply on here). Perhaps she was in tears because of a violation of her most intimate areas? Being an OB does not give some douchebag the right to shove his fingers in a lady’s whoha without her saying it’s okay.
[Reply]
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jul 17, 2010 @ 4:34 pm (Quote)
Someone fill me in; what exactly is a stretch and sweep?
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:36 am (Quote)
Cervix twaddling, basically.
Fingers manually stretch the cervix (which hurts a lot more than natural dilation; it involves physical contact, and it’s more rapid, and chances are the cervix isn’t even ripe yet, which will make it harder to stretch and thus make the procedure more painful, and probably not very effective because the cervix would want to go back to its pre-stretched condition) and then separate the membranes, which is supposed to stimulate labour and more than half the time usually just stimulates a whopping backache.
[Reply]
@ Alyson- Sweep means he’s manually stripping the membranes. I’m assuming stretch means that he’s manually dialating her cervix. I did not have my membranes swept, but I did have an idiot doctor try to manually dialate me and it had me crawling backwards on the bed.
Mr. Doctor, its one thing to let your body do what its naturally supposed to do. Its quite another to have some yutz do something sadistic to “teach mom a lesson.” And yes, it sounds like he was trying to teach her a lesson because it wasn’t something mom consented to.
OP- I hope you ran from that ass. I know after the doctor tried to manually dialate me I felt absolutely violated. I hope that your birth was, in the end, what you wanted it to be (or that it will be when it comes).
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 4:07 am (Quote)
I was manually dilated by my midwife, and it definitely was uncomfortable, but she asked before she did it, and was as gentle as she can be. Such a difference between than and a male OB who just shoves his fingers in all willy-nilly (can you tell who I transferred from and to?).
[Reply]
Jennifer Z. Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 7:49 am (Quote)
There are female midwives who do this without consent too. I had it done to me by a CNM who did not ask for consent or tell me what she was going to do. It hurt a lot and she did not stop when she saw I was in pain.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:07 am (Quote)
Jennifer Z- Almost my experience to a T. The doctor didn’t stop when I was yelling at her to stop doing “that.” I didn’t even know what she was doing at the time. I was 24 and I don’t look my age so I think she just thought “Well she’s young and stupid, I’ll just do it then tell her.” Now I’m wondering how I can explain to the new OB I will be going to (no luck finding a Midwife here..) that my last experience was damn near traumatizing and left me feeling violated so He (no female OBs in the area either!) may understand and cooperate with me a bit more. I’m absolutely terrified at the prospect that he won’t care and I’ll have another bad experience with nowhere to go instead of him.
Evelyn- I’m glad your midwife told you and it wasn’t a bad experience for you.
[Reply]
Jennifer Z. Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:41 am (Quote)
I don’t know if your age had much to do with it, I was 30 and the midwife didn’t tell me what she was going to do or tell me afterward what she had done. To avoid that from happening again, you can just refuse all vaginal exams at the end of pregnancy. They don’t tell you anything anyway.
Also, the organization I volunteer with, Solace for Mothers, has a list of questions to ask a provider about informed consent: http://www.solaceformothers.org/informed_consent_tool.html That might be a way to get an idea of your doctors willingness to allow you to consent to procedures.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:54 am (Quote)
It’s scandalous that not only is this procedure common, it’s also unnecessary (it’s not the most reliable way of jump starting labour) and frequently done without consent (I guess because it’s less obvious and self-explanatory than a Pitocin drip).
Thanks for the link, btw.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 11:01 am (Quote)
Jenn- Thanks for the link. Makes me a bit more confident that I can make it clear to him what I want. I think that’s a good half of the battle to make it clear that they must get consent for everything they do. I will have to watch out for the consent form. I didn’t last time.
[Reply]
Knitted in the Womb Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 8:09 am (Quote)
I wouldn’t assume the Dr. was trying to “punish” the woman–MANY OB’s perform membrane stripping without consent because they consider it to be a routine part of late pregnancy exams that they don’t “need” to ask for consent–my OB did it to me in my first pregnancy. And truthfully, most women allow them to continue with this perception because they don’t complain.
To the OB: Unless you have experienced a “stretch & sweep” AND labor, you can’t say which is worse…and even if you have experienced both, you can only say what your own experience was–every woman is different.
[Reply]
Birth Unplugged had this to say,
Jul 17, 2010 @ 5:10 pm (Quote)
hey, doc, have you ever heard that there are different kinds of pain?
Just because a woman finds something painful doesn’t mean she can’t do labor naturally. In my natural birth, the multiple attempts to place an IV were much more difficult for me to handle than what my body was doing.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 5:42 pm (Quote)
Yes! The IV was more painful than anything else, until the pitocin got going then that was pretty bad too.
And even if the pain is bad, its pain with a purpose. Its pain that comes before the extreme joy of meeting your child. And.. its pain that doesn’t last forever!
[Reply]
I have such a low pain tolerance but I gave birth unmediated. I even had back labor. When the OB came to sew my tears I was squirming and crying out in pain. He told me I could handle it because I had given birth without meds. But it was a TOTALLY different kind of pain.
[Reply]
Sarah Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 8:57 pm (Quote)
Yes! I felt a bit silly to be biting my lip and holding my DH’s hand and generally being a big baby while being stitched up after having a natural birth, lol. But it’s just different. Plus, my midwife was sticking what looked very much like a fish hook in/around my genitalia, that’s just plain hard to ignore.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 3:13 pm (Quote)
Looks like your OB was trying to punish you for daring to give birth naturally. From what I’ve been reading here, and elsewhere, this appears to be a very common thing. 
[Reply]
The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Jul 17, 2010 @ 7:16 pm (Quote)
Yes, it definitely hurts worse than that – especially after you’re strapped down with an IV line or two, not allowed to walk, change positions or pee, and are pushing flat on your back.
And I absolutely do NOT get the OBs who stitch you back up without lidocaine. Actually, I didn’t get any either, but couldn’t feel a whole lot because the area was numb from pushing. But what I could feel basically felt like … someone sticking a needle through my labia. So yeah … about that, doc…Actually, this was a midwife!
[Reply]
This isn’t my post, but my doctor did that to me right after I TOLD HER NO. After declining sweeping the membranes she talked me into a cervical “examination” to see how far along I was. She then swept the membranes and when I complained she told me exams always hurt at the end of pregnancy. I really didn’t realize what had happened until someone told me later.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:48 am (Quote)
This is why I employ a direct entry midwife who does not even do pelvic examinations.
Unless the baby is stuck in an awkward and unusual birthing position and must be manually rotated, there is no need for any kind of cervical “checking” or anything like that. The idea that one needs to examine the cervix for dilation to know the progress of labour is a myth; and other aspects of pelvic examination are irrelevant to obstetric practice unless one is trying to hurry labour along, and usually labour induction or augmentation is not required for a healthy birth, either.
I get my pelvic exams as part of my biannual routine checkup. I don’t let anybody’s hand up my vagina when I’m pregnant, (save my husband’s, and he isn’t reaching for my cervix, and if my waters have broken, not even him). Cervical checks, like other ways of introducing foreign material into the vagina, are an infection risk.
[Reply]
Susan Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 12:03 pm (Quote)
Yes, I’m very glad my mw didn’t do internal checks. I did have 2 internal checks during labour with my son, and I wish I hadn’t. I felt I was surely close to the end, so they checked me, and I was at 3cm, which made me very discouraged. I gave in to the pain meds, which made me sleepy. I was fully dilated an hour or so later – I dilate fast once I get going. My mw did offer to do a membrane sweep with my second pregnancy, but I declined, and that was that. I again had a fast labour.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:49 am (Quote)
Oh, by the way – what a bitch of a doctor. I’m so sorry.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jul 18, 2010 @ 8:38 am (Quote)
Stretching my cervix manually before I am ready DEFINITELY huts a lot more than natural labour. I can’t think of many procedures more painful.
And thank you SO MUCH for not asking my consent. That makes it hurt even more, including adding physical pain.
Get lost.
[Reply]
Lindsey Carr-Ruck had this to say,
Jul 18, 2010 @ 4:41 pm (Quote)
Almost any type of procedure done unexpectedly is going to register as more painful than one done after getting an explanation and giving the OK. I hate this “I’ll show you” attitude from providers.
The homebirth practice I work for makes it a priority to offer everything that an OB would. However, we “offer”, not push or demand. We rarely get takers on vaginal exams/cervical checks, yet healthy, beautiful babies are born all the time.
[Reply]
Wow Joan, I had a similar experience and like the OP I was told oh thats what labour feels like. I am sure they get some kind of sadistic thrill out of seeing you in tears. And no labour felt nothing like that assualt did.
My second baby was born at home and I didn’t have one single VE. The birth was the first time my midwife even saw me naked 
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
Previous Post
« “You Aren’t Going To Get A Gold Medal For A Vaginal Delivery.” Next Post
“…I *AM* The Second Opinion.” »
« “You Aren’t Going To Get A Gold Medal For A Vaginal Delivery.” Next Post
“…I *AM* The Second Opinion.” »
Labor serves a purpose. Uninterrupted, while it does HURT…there is a reason for the hurt, we are prepared for it and we can COPE with it. Without consent, unaware and unprepared…that is so NOT okay!
[Reply]