I actually needed some help with this for my first one. He was so far forward that his head was not lining up correctly. I had to push semi-reclined with my husband pushing in on my belly until the baby was lined up and descending. So, in that situation it was helpful to have some ‘human stirrups’ to get my pelvis to open more.

However, in general, I agree…stirrups are not a great asset to mom.

Perhaps this person’s ideas of birth came from past episodes of “Friends” or “Days of Our Lives.”
LOL

My husband said he got splashed a little when he caught Kassandra – a little amniotic fluid and blood, nothing major since my waters had already broken by that point – but he said it was nothing he couldn’t deal with.

I think I splashed my OB a good one when I gave birth to our second daughter, the one I didn’t know I was birthing until I found myself protesting in the maternity ward and was informed that I was, in fact, giving birth, not just having the worst case of diarrhoea I’d had in my life. I was being held flat on my back in the dead cockroach position, immobilized by a couple of very bossy nurses “helping” me by holding my legs in stirrups and restraints of human hands, and my waters were broken artifically just because. Hence the splooge. Which, in this case, was apparently a really dramatic splash.

Served them right.

Because a midwife wouldn’t put up with it at a homebirth

Remind me why this person works in a medical field again?

Agreed!

If I was a laboring/delivering mama that had this said in front of me, I’d probably go out of my way to try to kick him or her while I could get away with it…

I think it’s a holdover from the days when all mothers were put on birthing tables that had been equipped with stirrups, also often with restraints.

At some point in the seventies or eighties it appears that the shift from twilight sleep to awake-and-aware caused some consumer outrage over things like hard metal tables and stirrups and restraints (gee, can’t imagine why) and this coincided with a wave of interest in more “mother-freiendly, family-friendly” practices, so hospitals had to adapt.

It is my theory that the practice of leg-holding – by nurses, labour coach, and/or honoured relatives and friends – got instituted at this point, as a sort of replacement for the stirrups that the medical professionals could not imagine a proper birth lacking. And wasn’t that more mother-friendly, to offer a caring human touch during the pushing phase?

I think this is where maternity nurses and obstetricians also got the idea that Valsalva pushing was the way to go. Natural childbirth, especially in the version of Lamaze taught at that time, emphasized patterned, coached breathing and controlled responses. Epidurals were getting more common at this time, too, and a lot of mothers lost the ability to sense anything below the waist as a result, which necessitated coached pushing – why not incorporate coached breathing, too? The harder the huffing and puffing and pushing the baby down, the better, because that would theoretically speed up birth, and efficiency was important.

Finally, I think this is where hospitals got the idea that a break-down bed, a vinyl loveseat, a rocking chair, some tacky generic prints for wall hangings, a lamp, and a little paint or wallpaper constituted a “family-style alternative birthing suite.”

I have to admit, having someone help me hold up my leg in a sidelying position was a great comfort. But then again, I requested that of my then-husband, not a random passing tech.

Not necessarily. I’ve been at births where techs held legs, brought ice, did rice sock reheating duty, etc. for a low risk mama outside the OR if there wasn’t much else going on for them.

Can’t say I’ve seen much of anyone except whoever is catching and mama, if baby goes straight to belly or chest, get anything that could possibly be described as “goop” on them in a vaginal delivery.

“goop cannon” I love it! I’m due any day now and feeling pretty cranky, thank you for making me actually laugh out loud! (I will try no to shoot anyone with my goop cannon )

I’m both a baby cannon AND a goop cannon. My husband caught Kassandra with no difficulty, and he didn’t mind getting a little bit of fluid splashed on him, but when Liesl was born, apparently I not only splashed the OB with a tidal wave of amniotic fluid when he punctured my amniotic sac, but Liesl came out so fast when I pushed that he nearly dropped her… into the garbage can, I would imagine, although there was a last-minute save after the fumble.

Maybe it’s something about precipitous birth.

Either that, or maybe it just isn’t a good idea to make me give birth flat on my back like a dead cockroach, break my bulging waters early, and catch the baby that pops out when I’m in that ridiculous position.

In “Expect The Unexpected While You’re Expecting,” the fine authors refer to it as “birth glop.”

I got the term “splooge” from a first aid course taught by a paramedic, and I’ve overheard EMTs talking about “splooge,” so it must be a medical term… if not an official or scientific one.

“Goop,” however, does not appear to be in the lexicon.

There is a type of industrial strength hand cleaner with the brand name “Goop.” I imagine goop would be effective at removing splooge.

Awesome.

And they say we’re being drama queens when we talk about “birth rape” and how we need to get over it already…

Argh.

If you have a doctor who works with your spinal issues, have THAT doctor give you a letter to give to both the OB and the hospital explaining that you are not to be placed on your back. Also see ifyou can have a consult with anesthesiology about whether they would consider epiduralizing you, and get that in writing too.

A friend of mine has spina bifida and was told by her OBs that because of this, they demanded she have an epidural. She didn’t want one. She spoke to anesthesiology, who told her that they absolutely wouldn’t touch her spinal column with a needle due to her particular issues and her previous surgical history. She brought this report back to her OB, who said, “I still don’t feel comfortable having you deliver without an epidural.”

That’s right: the OB was perfectly happy to risk that my friend would never walk again.

My friend transferred her care to a birth center and has since had three vaginal deliveries, one at the birth center and two at home, all under water, and no epidurals. But that’s what it took to get her practice to take a competing medical condition as serious, and they STILL didn’t get it.