Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
19
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You’re Doing It All Wrong.”
“You’re doing it all wrong.” – Postpartum nurse to mother who was feeding her newborn, who was her 4th child that she had breastfed.
There are 35 comments to this post.
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jun 19, 2010 @ 6:36 am (Quote)
Oh. Right. You’re about to tell me that I should wash my nipples and toughen them up with a toothbrush first, then nurse the baby on each breast for five minutes per breast, put the baby down, and repeat the process in four hours? which is what one dippy nurse told me after I had my first baby? Yeah. Shut up.
Yes, believe it or not, I was actually given that bit of unasked-for advice in 2002, while recovering from my unneCaesarean surgery. Even in my inexperienced and suggestible state, my BS detectors were going off so loudly that I’m surprised they weren’t heard throughout the hospital and mistaken for a fire alarm.
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Jane Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 7:31 am (Quote)
I was told by the nurse when I had Kiddo#3 that I would get sore nipples because he was nursing so much. At that point, I’d been breastfeeding for five and a half of the past six years: they weren’t going to get any tougher.
I snapped back, They are not!, and the nurse left. Later on the lactation consultant showed up and said everything looked wonderful and we chatted for a while about random things while she observed the baby nursing.
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Denise Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 9:19 am (Quote)
I was given pretty much the same advice after my first in ’89 too. Unfortunately I hadn’t yet honed my BS detection abilities (I was 16) and mostly followed that advice. It ended with nipples that had more blood than milk, mastitis & giving up on nursing after less than 6 months.
I thought things had changed at least a little since then, so sad that women are still being given such awful advice.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 1:11 pm (Quote)
Nurses are required to take continuing ed courses to keep their licensing up to date.
So, for that matter, are doctors.
They are not required to actually take the course matter seriously; merely passing a test on the material is sufficient.
I am convinced that a good half of obstetric and labour personnel, at least, think their old way is the best way, their own routine is the best for everybody (at least it never killed anyone, and isn’t all that matters?) and whatever new stuff gets turned up that contradicts what they learned when they were in nursing school, med school, etc is just newfangled, faddish crapola.
Their minds are made up. Don’t confuse them with facts.
I get along really well with emergency personnel and med school interns and residents, though, for some reason. Different mindset, usually. I haven’t figured it out.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 1:21 pm (Quote)
Illustration, to keep this tethered to the original topic (good grief, I’m scatterbrained today) – I’ve been snapped at for nursing in public (sitting in a rocking chair in the NICU in front of my premature daughter’s incubator is apparently “public,” because there are twenty something incubators in that room lined up in rows, and other parents who might find the sight of me distressing – that’s what the “family room” is for, and if it’s in use, too bad). That was also the NICU where the neonatologist told me to “plump up” my milk with preemie formula, chorused by a gaggle of agreeing nurses, some of whom had tossed out bags of my pumped milk because there “just wasn’t room enough in the refrigerator.”
OTOH, while visiting the ER when my firstborn was sick with something or other (can’t remember what, now, just that as a first time parent and all that, I was worried) I ran out of bottled milk (Sophie only wanted expresso latte by then, she did not nurse) and whipped out my breast pump and started to milk my udders. True, we were in a waiting room in back, but it was hardly private – doctors and nurses could come in at any time. And eventually they did. Most did not bat an eye. The intern who saw us gave us a thumbs up and congratulated me on my commitment. A nurse saw that we’d been there an unusually long time, I guess because it was a busy day or something, and offered to get us food from the cafeteria. And asked if we needed any diapers.
Totally different mindset. ER workers seem to be a lot more open-minded and willing to go with the flow.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 5:44 pm (Quote)
Sarah, your comments about nursing in the NICU make me want to cry. 
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Sheva Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 8:20 pm (Quote)
They didn’t even let me nurse my NICU baby. Said she wasn’t strong enough. My 35 week, 4 1/2 pound baby wasn’t strong enough. Good golly. Took them 3 days to let me touch her, and a week to let me nurse her. (Still can’t figure out why they were giving out pamphlets about kangaroo care…)
Please don’t ask me why I listened. It was a planned home birth that came too early, and I was shattered by a whole bunch of things. I know more now, and if it ever happens again, things will be different.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 20th, 2010 at 11:24 am (Quote)
After Liesl (my preemie) was born, I wasn’t allowed to hold her for a minute, or even touch her. They had me look at her from a distance of several feet, They kept her in an isolette at the nurses’ station until an ambulance could come to transfer her to a hospital that had a NICU, and I was not allowed to transfer to be near her.
The reason they gave me for not being allowed to touch or hold her was that I was germy and would probably kill her or at least make her very sick.
I was not given a reason for not being allowed to transfer to a recovery room in the other hospital to be near her, but if it wasn’t simply a matter of Medicaid red tape, I suspect it was because the doctor wanted to punish me for forcing him to assist at a VBAC he had no intention of “letting” me have in the first place – going by what he yelled at me when I was in labour.
At the time I did not fight this, or object in any way. I felt relief that I could take a shower after birth and wash the sweat and vomit of the previous nights sickness out of my hair, that I had a quiet bed to recuperate in and not be required to leave to attend to my still-sick toddler, that the room was air conditioned (unlike our house), that the hospital was within an hour’s walking distance as we had no car and were so broke by that part of the week that we didn’t even have money for bus fare.
I didn’t have the maternal instinct to demand my baby, or to cry when we couldn’t be together. I was numb, and very self centred.
I still lose sleep over that.
Oh, and I got pamphlets about kangaroo care, too, although I was discouraged from trying it when we made it to the NICU, and nobody else visiting seemed to be doing it, either.
Rows and rows of isolettes and isolated babies and parents.
I’ve heard that some hospitals now have NICUs where the baby has a separate room, and the parents can room in. Why can’t they all be like that?
And why do they tell us about kangaroo care and the richness of preemie milk if they don’t believe in the information contained in their stupid pamphlets and don’t have any intention of indulging you?
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TJ Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 1:35 pm (Quote)
I had some nurse tell me that she was going to have a lactation consultant come in because that was too much when I’d commented that my 2nd was wanting to nurse constantly and seemed to be for comfort. She acted like I was doing it wrong or something.
By the time one of the nice ladies from lactation stopped by, my daughter had passed a bowl movement with a tremendous amount of gas and was fine. I mentioned the comfort nursing and the gas, and the consultant was telling me they had seen a lot of that the last couple of days and totally acted like it was no big deal.
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Sheesh. After 4 babies, this woman knows how to feed/nurse a baby! And there’s a lot of ‘right’ ways to nurse a baby besides what the nurse might think is the ‘right’ way!
I just had my 4th, in a great hospital with great nurses where we’ve had all 4, and they were like, you know what to do, and let baby & I alone to do what worked for us – w/out unsolicited advice/opinions. That’s something I’m thankful for!
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My MIL was given a similar comment with her second. She put him in a football hold, and they told her that wasn’t the right way to do it, but then saw that he latched right on and retracted the statement, thankfully. I’m glad my MIL didn’t listen to them, too. 
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sherrie williams had this to say,
Jun 19, 2010 @ 8:47 am (Quote)
some nurses r so lame! i had one tell me the same with my second cause she didnt like that i used a cradle hold. i just ignored her i was/am still successfully tandem nursing my older child as well i think i have got it down. and same goes for this mom she has obviously successfully nursed before!
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 1:25 pm (Quote)
There does seem to be a lot of obsession about “holds.” What is up with that, anyway?
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Sarah Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 2:22 pm (Quote)
Heck if I know… After I had my unnecesarean with my first baby, the LC, rather than evaluating the baby’s latch and suck to deal with my painful cracked and bleeding nipples, kept insisting on making me use a football hold to keep the baby off the incision. I agree that that *CAN* be good, but my incision was not bothering me, I totally hated the football hold, and it wasn’t helping my poor suffering nipples at all! Then at the end of the appointment she gave me a pacifier. >_< Yeah, that'll help. I ended up with bloody infected nipples for 8 WEEKS due to the lack of help I received.
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JulietsButterfly had this to say,
Jun 19, 2010 @ 9:53 am (Quote)
You put part A into part B and if you’re both comfortable and the baby gets filled up, does it matter what it looks like? It’s not always going to be that perfect little cradle hold with the baby facing just so. I wonder if the nurse has ever seen a toddler crawling over mom’s shoulder for a nip.
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Susan Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 10:40 am (Quote)
Oh yes, my toddler has been known to be quite acrobatic when breastfeeding. He used to practically stand on his head for a feed if I fed him in bed!
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 1:23 pm (Quote)
I love it when they do that. It’s so cute. It’s a shame most American mothers wean before even a year is up; I’m sure they have their reasons, but they have no idea how much entertainment they’re missing. Has your child done an Olympic-skating “flying camel” pose while latched, yet? Those are cute, too.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 5:47 pm (Quote)
LOL My 14-month-old always makes sure to stick his feet in my face so I can kiss his toes. 
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JulietsButterfly Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 6:53 pm (Quote)
Yeah, my parents have been harassing me to wean my son since…last April? We’re not having any problems and I don’t feel like stopping. He’s 26 months old next week and I doubt he’ll wean by the end of summer. Maybe we’ll consider it late fall or winter when it gets cold to NIP and the wardrobe starts getting more constrictive.
My ILs are awesome though. MIL asked “Are you still nursing him?” and I said “yes.” and she just smiled.
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Stephanie - Home with the Kids Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 9:17 pm (Quote)
My 16 month old loves that pose right now. She is the most acrobatic of all my kids. It’s so precious!
My MIL is wondering when I’ll wean too. I’ve told her it will be when the time is right. At that, she’s much improved. MIL asked me at 6 weeks, 6 months and quite regularly thereafter with my first.
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rachel Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 3:54 pm (Quote)
hehehe my 13 month old is getting really wild! I can’t even nurse him to sleep anymore, dh has to put him to bed! He’s just such an antsy nurser. I try to lay down with him and it is AMAZING how far he moves while still latched. He climbs over me, rotates around over 180*..he’s got talent. I should get video sometime. Love this age!!!
and i wouldn’t dream of weaning him this early
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Jane Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 4:53 pm (Quote)
it’s fun when they hang upside down to nurse and then hang on even when you stand up or roll over or twist to get them off. :-b
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Sheva Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 8:28 pm (Quote)
My baby turned two this Thursday. I’ve never nursed a baby this long, so it’s new to me to have a baby talk about nursing, and it can get kind of awkward in public….
Last week she asked for ‘mama’, and when my fingers didn’t work fast enough for her, she yelled, ‘take of your dress’!! LOL
My favorite, though, is when she tries to tell me something while she’s nursing, and the words come out all garbled because she doesn’t want to lose her latch.
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JulietsButterfly Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 9:04 pm (Quote)
You can always start saying “When we get home.” or offer before you go somewhere and hope for the best. My son won’t say he wants them, but he’ll pull my shirt down or up to get at them. Let them NIP if you’re comfortable with where you are. If we’re nursing at church, I can assure you he doesn’t make a peep!
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 20th, 2010 at 11:33 am (Quote)
Oh, I love it when they try to talk with their mouths full and wind up spraying milk all over…
Nursing toddlers are so CUTE!
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Dani Arnold had this to say,
Jun 20, 2010 @ 5:12 am (Quote)
Yep this actually happened to me. I couldn’t believe it. There I was, around 10pm, sitting on my bed (not the provided rocking chair- apparently that was my first “mistake”) nursing my 30 hour old baby quite contentedly. Some nurse that I’d never seen before comes barging in (hello? privacy? how about a quiet knock first?). she stomps right up to me, watches me nursing Logan for a whole whopping 20 seconds, then without so much as a “hello, my name is…” she reached over grabbed his head with one hand and my breast with the other and tried to smash them together while stating “You’re doing that ALL wrong!” – she didn’t even try to explain what she wanted to do, didn’t ask me to unlatch him so that she could watch him latch. WHile doing this she says to me “you need to get the whole areola into his mouth” and proceeds to try to shove his top lip over my areola!!! For a split second I was so shocked that I didn’t even react- then I slapped her hand away and told her that he had a perfect asymmetrical latch and as he was my FOURTH baby, I was pretty damn sure I knew what the hell I was doing!!! I told her to get the hell out and not come back.
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Umm Abdullah Reply:
June 20th, 2010 at 8:11 am (Quote)
Good for you! I’m so sorry that happened to you
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 20th, 2010 at 11:35 am (Quote)
I am so glad you gave her what she so richly deserved. Hopefully you were left alone after that…
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“you need to get the whole areola into his mouth”
Good lord if that is absolute requirement then I have been screwed for the last 18months! I have huge aereolas that to this day my daughter canNOT completely cover much less when she was hours old!!
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“…We Don’t Want The Baby To End Up In The Garbage Can!” »
“You mean I’m putting the milk into the bottom of the child and taking it out the top?”
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 19th, 2010 at 6:36 am Sarah Dorrance-Minch(Quote)
Well, that’s one way to hurry the meconium out, I suppose.
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