Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
17
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Thoughtful Thursday! “Next Time, A Home Birth!”
“Next time, a home birth!” -OB giving the thumbs up sign, to a mother who was an emergency transfer from a homebirth.
There are 26 comments to this post.
Sounds to me like he was being a sarcastic a$$.
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Aron Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 9:05 am (Quote)
Context and tone are everything. I gather that since the OP posted it here that it truly was said in an encouraging and supportive manner. Although, I’m honestly struggling with trying to figure out how one could say that sarcastically.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 2:27 pm (Quote)
I can definitely imagine this being said rudely and sarcastically. BUT, if it was, I doubt the OP would have submitted it for Thoughtful Thursday. Since it is a TT, we should assume that this was said with a genuinely supportive attitude.
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See, docs? It only takes a second to give a mother hope and comfort and strength.
It also only takes a second, sometimes, to crush her and her dreams.
Can we make a list of ‘one second quotes’ for docs to read, that don’t hurt them to say and may make the difference between mom’s confidence and utter despair?
How about, ‘You can do it’. Or, ‘I trust you’. Or, “Women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and you are a Woman, so you can do it, too’. Maybe that last one was 3 seconds, though…
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jun 17, 2010 @ 7:42 am (Quote)
AWESOME! 
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teresacooks had this to say,
Jun 17, 2010 @ 8:22 am (Quote)
24 hours into a hideously painful back labor the anesthesiologist said to me (while prepping for an epidural) “Next time, let’s not wait so long.”
The next 2 times were homebirths and much easier. . .
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CCindy Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 12:35 pm (Quote)
What does it matter to him how long you have been in pain? Is it any harder to place an epidural late in the game or did he just come on shift and feels the previous anesthesiologist should have taken care of you?
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teresacooks Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 1:43 pm (Quote)
I think it’s really hard to sit still during incredibly painful contractions, so if they do it early it might be easier for them. . .
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Kit Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 7:14 am (Quote)
Well…
Possibly he was concerned for the mother? Didn’t want her to be in pain for so long?
Or am I just too optimistic?
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 7:31 am (Quote)
You’re optimistic.
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teresacooks Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 4:43 pm (Quote)
no, it was an exasperated tone of voice (I was the mother) and very condescending (which was pretty surprising since my father was sitting next to me and is a doctor – very high up – in that hospital).
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Hi everyone. If you will send me your email addresses, I will forward some positive updates coming our way.
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” Don’t worry honey, I will take care of this the whole way!” (encouraging pat pat on shoulder) I found a midwife right away!
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Michelle Potter Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 2:29 pm (Quote)
Look here for info on submitting a quote to be featured on this site:
http://myobsaidwhat.com/faq-and-submission-info/
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I actually worry for this doctor. Having this kind of integrity comes at a cost. This OB’s colleagues may ostracize him/her or find a way to get him/her fired. The medical profession can be quite tightly knit and (ahem!) “self-correcting.”
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Michelle Potter had this to say,
Jun 17, 2010 @ 2:34 pm (Quote)
Yay! Way to encourage mom that just because *this* time the homebirth didn’t work out, doesn’t mean she can’t do it next time! Not to mention encouraging her that she’s made a good decision by going to that hospital and that OB when she needed in-hospital care.
(I know that sometimes people say “next time” in a way that dismisses the experience a woman had *this time*, but I don’t think this was said that way. I know that personally, my OB was very encouraging and hopeful about “next time” when I had my miscarriage, and I found that to be a real kindness, even though I don’t plan to have more kids, and actually didn’t plan that pregnancy.)
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YES!!! As a homebirth midwife myself, I have seen that there are better educated, less scared, more supportive of home birth docs coming up now. The old dudes can still be majorly against it, but the new guys are being raised different. Build bridges, not walls. Appropriate, compassionate care when hospital transports are necessary is key to safe out-of-hospital care. Your midwife going WITH you to the hospital to advise you and advocate for you can also help build bridges. BE the change you want to see!
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This was my thoughtful thursday. The doctor is actually well-known around here for being very friendly to homebirth transfers, and is one a lot of the midwives use if a transfer becomes necessary. We drove about an hour to go to this hospital (and I had been in active labor for 44 hours) because we knew it would be worth it not to have to fight every decision. Also, my midwife was welcome in the birthing room with me, and she was there the entire time, encouraging, supporting and helping me. This means a lot. If I had just gone up the street to the nearest hospital, who knows what might have happened (a section, etc. and my midwife would not have been allowed in the room).
This was actually an older doctor who had seen many births, and is just highly encouraging of those mothers who choose to labor naturally. He also prayed with us at one point.
He also encouraged us to see if we could labor naturally without pitocin for as long as possible. We were in the hospital for about 5 hours before we started pitocin (at that point I had been in active labor PROM for 50 hours).
I was able to have a natural vaginal birth, with only pitocin and iv fluids for medical interventions.
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I LOVE when drs support homebirths!! And kudos for encouraging that mom.
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