Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
14
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…We Give Them A Shot Of Depo ProVara.”
“What we do for pedophiles is we give them a shot of depo provara.” -OB/GYN to lesbian patient after the patient mentioned how she was starting to want children after spending a lot of time babysitting her niece.
There are 111 comments to this post.
Beccaisadoula had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 4:24 am (Quote)
While I disagree with the lifestyle, oh my gosh! Come on! Not all homosexuals are pedophiles! What a jerk!
[Reply]
michelle Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:42 am (Quote)
Seriously?? Being gay is not a “lifestyle” that you can disagree with. That’s like saying “I disagree with brown eyes, but…”
[Reply]
Kylie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:59 am (Quote)
Some people would disagree with your statement. I don’t think this is the place for this particular discussion.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:08 am (Quote)
And at any rate, I think we can all agree on the fact that being a lesbian does NOT imply any inclination toward pedophilia; and that the obstetrician above was very much out of line.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:06 am (Quote)
I’ve been told that it’s not my sexual orientation itself that amounts to a “lifestyle choice,” but whether or not I choose to act on it. My mother insists on seeing any female partners in my past as a “phase that I was going through.” Which, I suppose, is a step up from her worrying about my going to Hell when I die, which she probably still does, but that’s one of the nice things about barely being on speaking terms with her now – I don’t have to hear it.
Were I a little higher on the Kinsey scale than I am, and ONLY interested in women, the “choice” would not be between men and women, but between “indulging myself” and choosing righteous celibacy.
Naturally, I disagree with this perspective, but that’s why cultural conservatives call it a “lifestyle” or a “choice.” Some believe that we really can choose who we are attracted to, if we just pray for forgiveness, but most feel it is more a matter of choosing to ignore a need that is, by their moral upbringing, inherently sinful.
[Reply]
Lucia Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:39 pm (Quote)
Yes, brown eyed people are definite deviants 
. I should know, I’m a brown eyed bisexual .
[Reply]
angie Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 8:54 am (Quote)
I totally agree.. being homosexual isnt a “lifestyle.” Actually its a genetic sexual preference, and I feel even being heterosexual, it is truly offensive to think or imply that someone’s sexuality is a choice! Do u really think that anyone who could choose to be more like society or be what we as a society say is normal, do you really think anyone would choose to be homosexual, knowing the prejudice and mislabeling and general abuse heaped on them by close minded judgemental idiots, who need to study science, and genetics, We are born with a sexual prefence!! Some are born homosexual some are born heterosexual, like having blue eyes or red hair! you cant choose!
[Reply]
This warrants a call not only to the state licensing board but also to the local newspaper. Wouldn’t you just love to see this splashed up on the front page of the paper? “Local Doctor Commits Human Rights Violation.”
(And if he were really worried that she was a pedophile, shouldn’t the doctor have called CPS and made sure she wouldn’t be babysitting her niece any longer? This is offensive in so many ways I can’t even count.)
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 5:11 am (Quote)
It occurs to me that even the criminal justice system cannot order a convicted pedophile sterilized. If this took place in the USA, then what this doctor bragged about doing, assuming the doctor really did it, is definitely a human rights violation, and he could be brought up on charges.
It really should be brought to the district attorney’s attention, and the media too, in order to find women who became mysteriously infertile for a couple of years after visiting this doctor. Not many things on this site deserve jail time, but if this doctor really did what he says, he does.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:28 am (Quote)
I believe he’s referring to voluntary or court-ordered chemical castration. It’s a treatment that attempts to allow pedophiles to try to live a normal life outside of prison. And it’s only for men.
As for this doctor–that is so freaking sick that I’d like to find him and kick him really hard. Watching my nieces made me want kids all the more, too. Freaking stupid comment–how did he think there was ANYTHING okay with what he said???
[Reply]
Sheva Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:20 pm (Quote)
They DO that nowadays???!
I just looked it up, and until about 1981 or so, it was not only legal, but common IN THE USA to sterilize en masse certain men and women that the courts deemed unfit. How horrific!
This is where I found it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization#United_States
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:03 pm (Quote)
I live in Indiana: The Original Eugenics State. One of the first to enact eugenics laws, one of the last to drop them.
I’m autistic and some of my migraines have turned into seizures due to their severity – and on top of it all, I have a known history of sexual “deviance.” Triple whammy. A couple of generations ago, I’d probably have been spayed sometime in early adulthood (none of these things made themselves known until I was a college undergraduate – the autism in particular didn’t get diagnosed until my oldest daughter got her diagnosis).
Fun, what?
[Reply]
In my naievte, it took me several minutes and reading other comments here to even understand this comment. I didn’t automatically put two and two together and understand that Dr. Jerk was saying that homosexuality and pedophelia were the same thing. The concept of such a thing just boggles my mind how ignorant some people are.
OP I hope that you went on to a different doctor or midwife who was more supportive of your right to bear children.
[Reply]
kitchenwitch had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 5:56 am (Quote)
This post makes me so angry- and I find the comment from beccaisadoula just as offensive.Being gay is NOT a “lifestyle” choice. But gee- I sure do appreciate that she believes “Not all homosexuals are pedophiles” -how very forward thinking of her. What a jerk indeed!
[Reply]
DoulaLou Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:34 am (Quote)
Beccaisadoula is entitled to her opinion about homosexuality just as you are entitled to your opinion about childbirth and this post.
As for this OB’s comments…how horrendous. I truly hope that this woman did file a report and indeed switched doctors to one who was more open-minded about her sexual orientation.
[Reply]
Elizabeth Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 11:47 am (Quote)
Not all pedophiles are homosexual either. They are totally separate issues. Knee-jerk reaction though I’d be more likely to trust a lesbian than the majority of the population anyway but I grew up having a bisexual best friend with a lesbian mother.
[Reply]
prochoicedoula Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 5:47 pm (Quote)
Yeah, imona go ahead and agree with you, KitchenWitch. Made me gag. The oppression of women in their reproductive lives stems from the EXACT same system that oppresses the LGBT community. Strange so many in my local circle of doulas sees the connection…. ??
[Reply]
Uh…what? Even if the doctor had been ‘joking,’ some things you just don’t joke about—and pedophilia is one of those things. I’m disgusted and outraged.
I hope the patient ran and got another doctor who would be onboard with her choice to consider having a baby. If anything, the doc should have congratulated his patient on being such an involved and loving aunt!
[Reply]
I don’t think the OB was insinuating that the woman was a pedophile. They give the Depo shot to pedophiles because it is known to reduce sex drive. I’m guessing she somehow thought that reducing the woman’s sex drive would make her want children less or something crazy like that. Totally inappropriate, but slightly better than calling her a pedophile.
[Reply]
Kate Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 7:13 am (Quote)
I’ve got to agree. Surely this was an idiotic attempt at offering some kind of, in the OB’s warped mind, ‘solution’? Coz, like, lesbians can’t have children, of course, that would just be soooo wrong
Would love to hear from the person who posted this and get her take on it.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:10 am (Quote)
You’re being charitable. I detected a clear insinuation of pedophilia there. There would have been no need to mention pedophilia otherwise, given the context.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:09 am (Quote)
I read that as the doctor gives birth control shots without consent to people whom the doctor considers unfit to parent a child.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:13 am (Quote)
At least injections are relatively easy to fend off, unlike, say, hysterectomies “taken care of” while the patient is unconscious. (And Depo-Provera only lasts for a few months, worst case scenario. I doubt someone who was given a quick jab under duress would be back for a repeat procedure. She might sue for medical battery, though.)
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:20 am (Quote)
I’ve known of women who were infertile for three years after a depo shot, so for some women the worst case scenario lasts a little longer. And no, an injection isn’t always easy to fend off. Not if you assume it’s something else.
Patient: What is that?
Doctor: Your last tetanus shot was a few years ago, right?
Patient: Yeah.
Doctor: Here, give me your arm.
It’s not medical battery if someone messes with your reproductive organs without your consent. I wasn’t kidding that it probably falls under the umbrella of a human rights violation. We’re not allowed to do that to convicted felons because it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. So why wouldn’t it be the same for a doctor who sterilizes a patient for a year without her consent?
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:41 am (Quote)
I’ve never accepted a tetanus shot or anything unrelated from a reproductive health professional – then again, I go to Planned Parenthood for practically everything related to the functioning of my plumbing, and they tend not to give out tetanus shots at Planned Parenthood clinics. (They’re also a lot more queer-friendly.) I imagine it would be easier to pull a fast one on me if I used a family doctor or internist for all my health needs.
[Reply]
Karyn Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:31 am (Quote)
I’m one of those women who was infertile for 3 years after a Depo shot.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:46 am (Quote)
18 months here *hugs* But in the long run, it cleared up my endo enough for me to get pregnant. But “3 months” was most definitely NOT the duration of the effects 
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:12 am (Quote)
Wow. Meanwhile, my ex-girlfriend got pregnant on Depo-Provera… twice… once with triplets.
I think maybe that stuff should be pulled from the market. It seems to have highly unpredictable effects.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:24 am (Quote)
All medications have side effects. Depo now has a limit of 2 years that you’re supposed to use it due to potential side effects, but if it hadn’t been for depo, I might never have become a mom at all. It kept my endo at bay by stopping my menstrual cycle (which was destroying my reproductive system) and while the side effects sucked (18 months of infertility past the 3 months of the shot and 75lbs of weight gain), it was still a relief not to be in horrible pain every month.
All medications risk side effects, alas.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:49 am (Quote)
Well, sure. If medicine didn’t have side effects, we wouldn’t bother using it. I take Tylenol because it has the side effect of killing pain. At other doses, there are less positive side effects, but I’m not trying to achieve them, so I don’t overdose.
It’s the sheer unpredictability of Depo than makes me wonder. Some women it works like clockwork: they go in every three or four months, they’re set for the next three or four months, and that’s that. Some women experience long-term infertility, more than I’ve ever heard getting long-term infertility from the Pill. And my ex-girlfriend isn’t the only woman to get pregnant on Depo, she’s just the only one I know who has done so repeatedly, and with multiples. And she’s not clueless – she’s always been one to use backup birth control when on antibiotics, for instance.
If using a birth control method is like playing Wheel Of (Mis)Fortune and spinning to see what you get – will the shot work as intended? will it work too well? will it not work at all? etc – it doesn’t strike me as being a very desirable method. Some bugs must need working out, or something.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:09 pm (Quote)
That’s not the side effect, that’s the active effect. One of my friends, if you give her tylenol, she’ll suffer anaphylaxis, but most people won’t. Most people seem to respond “normally” to depo, just like most do to various bc pills, but both my nieces were conceived on pills, my best friend’s niece and nephew, etc. so on and so forth. My ex-gf had stomach cramps and vomiting from one of the Pills, violent mood swings on another. My point is simply that not everything works for everyone, but it doesn’t mean there’s not a place for it, kwim?
[Reply]
Karyn Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:44 am (Quote)
Luckily my story has a happy ending… I’m just a few weeks away from birthing my second child. Originally I was told I would probably never get pregnant without fertility assistance… but both boys were conceived naturally and easily once my fertility returned. 
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:12 pm (Quote)
Hooray and congratulations! With my second, I had to use vitex to get and stay pregnant (I lost two in the meantime). I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to just get pregnant and stay pregnant again like I did with my first (who I’d given up trying when I conceived and scheduled an infertility appointment, which turned into a prenatal appointment ). Not depo’s fault, though.
[Reply]
Sheva Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:20 am (Quote)
The doc said he does it for pedophiles. I can’t think of another meaning he may have had.
One question – did the doc think that when she said she wanted children, that she meant it in the wrong way?
But even IF that was what the doc meant, he should get his mind out of the gutter, and he is still just as inappropriate, out of line, and report-able.
What a creep. (The doc.)
OP, the doc had no right or cause to talk to you this way, and I hope you dumped him and then reported him. Also, if you can, spread his attitutde to everyone you can think of, to make sure he’s not shooting people up with hormones they didn’t ask for. What a jerk.
This is just me musing over here, and I don’t know if it’s just me who sees it this way or not, but I think that no mother fits exactly into the mold/cookie cutter shape that most docs think everyone should fit into. They try to stuff us into the molds they make, and sometimes we’re scared enough to squoosh in, but I think the ladies who refuse to be squooshed scare the living daylights out of them, and they find the need to be snarky.
[Reply]
Birth Unplugged Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:12 pm (Quote)
I read it with the doctor’s-mind-in-the-gutter interpretation as well. That explanation leads me to think that his mind got in the gutter because he thinks being a homosexual makes her already a “sexual deviant” or something. Or maybe that it was a joke in really, really, really bad taste, which is still horrible.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 8:07 am (Quote)
HOW DARE (S)HE.
As a bisexual woman who only wound up married to a male because by some accident of Providence, he happened to be the one who was my soulmate – I could as easily have wound up married to another woman – I cannot believe that a medical professional would have the unmitigated nerve to say something like that out loud.
I would have reported him/her to the state licensing board – after kicking his/her sorry arse to the curb. Then I would have seen if there were any other way to legally retaliate for the bigotry. Warning everybody I knew about his/her views would certainly have been a good start.
DISGRACEFUL.
[Reply]
Babysitting -> baby hunger = pedophilia?????
Well crap, Doc, you better shoot me up right now because caring for/interacting with my nephews over the past almost-eight years has often given me baby rabies pangs.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:20 am (Quote)
I guess the only women who should be allowed to have babies are the ones who are indifferent toward babies?
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:16 am (Quote)
Well, that WOULD help put to rest those pesky attachment-parenting types who get in the way of scheduled feedings, Ferberization, taking the baby away for routines and “observation” in the nursery after birth, and all that other stuff that seems to be such a thorn in the sides of various establishment personnel…
[Reply]
What a crock of CRAP. So your patient admits to baby fever and you bring up some junk about what you do to stop the sex drive of a pedophile?? I sure hope they didn’t bring up any crap about how she -couldn’t- become a mommy because I know two lovely women on a parenting/pregnancy message board who are on their way to having their second child through IUI.
Run as fast as you can, OP.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:49 am (Quote)
I have several bi/pan/homosexual women friends who are wonderful mothers. Heck, a study just came out recently that children raised by lesbians had a fewer percentage of issues than other kids (probably because lesbians typically have to WANT their kids )
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:27 am (Quote)
Heh. That was all over my Facebook page the instant I found it in my news feed.
[Reply]
Kit Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:06 pm (Quote)
Hey, I knew a girl in high school who had two dads. a little sister too. (They were family adoptions, her bio-mom was the sister to one of her dads)
They were utterly normal in every way, really. And we had a teacher who would NOT accept that. She was always needling at them about “do those men(her parents) touch you?”
The teacher finally got fired because she would NOT stop harassing my friend’s little sister. Its was really awkward.
[Reply]
Jessica Sideways had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 9:50 am (Quote)
Holy shit, what the fuck? I swear, that is an awful thing to say to a woman who wants to have a child – accusing her of being a pedophile. That’s just wrong and I wish the OP could have posted this OB/GYN’s name so that we could ensure that none of us see that quack.
[Reply]
Oregonmommy had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 10:29 am (Quote)
At least injections are relatively easy to fend off, unlike, say, hysterectomies “taken care of” while the patient is unconscious. (And Depo-Provera only lasts for a few months, worst case scenario. I doubt someone who was given a quick jab under duress would be back for a repeat procedure. She might sue for medical battery, though.)
This is no always true. I had 1 depo shot, by choice. And it messed me up for a year! I bled off and on with only 1 week breaks at a time for a full year. The whole time they were throwing all different meds to make it stop. And boy when they got it to stop they weren’t playing. Didn’t have my period again for a year, ended up diagnosed with PCOS and only had a period 1 time a year for 2 years. Yeah Depo, like any BC that stops your period is unnatural.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:58 am (Quote)
I know several women who have complained about numerous issues stemming from use of the depo shot. So like it has been said, its only supposed to last for months, but effects can linger. On the flip side, I know a few who their only complaint was weight gain with depo and then other women who claim the pill messed their systems up beyond belief.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:29 am (Quote)
The more I hear about this stuff, the more I think it needs to be pulled off the pharmacy shelves.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm (Quote)
I agree. It took 4 months of an IUD (had that removed) then 5 months of the pill making me so whacked out it was unbelievable for me to finally give NFP a shot. Guess what? 6 months later, I’m still not pregnant thanks to NFP. Works pretty well actually, though I know its not for everyone just like all the other methods can’t work for everyone.
[Reply]
Honeybee Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 5:18 pm (Quote)
I’m pretty much the same, here. Spotting a few days, nothing, light bleeding, nothing. And it is so random I can never tell. I haven’t had a Depo shot (my second and last) since March. The first time they didn’t tell me anything other than “you’re going to bleed anyway” (right after a D&C). I have a few nurse friends who say I should even out and become “normal” again but the waiting game sucks. I have warned several of my gf’s against Depo. Pills are a pain to remember, but you can stop anytime.
[Reply]
Dorothy "Hyphen had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 10:31 am (Quote)
OMG! This is awful–jaw droppingly awful.
[Reply]
Oregonmommy had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 10:32 am (Quote)
Forgot to add, I got my shot in 2000 and was unable to conceive until 2004.
[Reply]
Melody had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 10:33 am (Quote)
I would like to speak to the doctor and see what he actually said or if he just mispoke or if the patient misheard the doctor. I doubt he was calling her a pedophile BUT then again, doctors are private practices and he can have his own beliefs (ie homosexuals should not have children) just like CATHOLIC hospitals can refuse to tie your tubes or put in an IUD.
[Reply]
Has the bloggess ever contacted any of these doctors to get their side of the story. I have 2 little ones and my youngest being 12 weeks, I am still cycling through pregnancy hormones (partially thankful to bfing). But my husband had to calm me down a few times over something that really wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be. It’d be nice if you could get teh doctor’s name, and call for a response and authorization to print their name. “Dr. so & so? A woman came to me and said THIS happened in your office, can you confirm that? Would you like to tell me your side of the story? May I print your name with your rebuttal? Thanks”
[Reply]
My OB said WHAT?!? Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:55 am (Quote)
We have never commented the providers, the posts are submitted by those who have first (or second) hand knowledge…sometimes they include info on the doc/mw/doula/nurse/etc and sometimes not. As mentioned in our FAQ, the purpose isn’t to shame or embarrass an individual, though some of them deserve it, but to make a point about how women are treated! You are right, people can take things different ways, you should ask the OP when/if they come back to tell the rest of the story, what really might have been going on.
[Reply]
Susan Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 5:55 am (Quote)
No, you just want to fan the fire of OB/Medical Care Professional mist
[Reply]
Susan Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 5:58 am (Quote)
You are just more interested in fanning the fire of unproved comments against the medical profession. These are all unproved accusations which all of you just reach as if it were true. The internet is full of whackos and this site is teeming with them!!
[Reply]
Kyra Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 1:10 pm (Quote)
So true!!! For all we know there are a bunch of crazy homebirth ridden women making this stuff up to try to sway women away from the medical professionals, all because they had a bad experience with an OB and now are out to bash them all.
[Reply]
Dee Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 2:15 pm (Quote)
I’m new here. I like this site very much. I wrote an article on childbirth education a few years ago (for International Journal of Childbirth Education), and that research was the beginning of a book (ethnography) on women who chose natural (unmedicated) childbirth or homebirth or something besides the typical model of care in the US. I interviewed about 50 women (some were short interviews, some were long). What became apparent was that for women who don’t want what has become the “typical” American pregnancy and birth experience, they face everything from derision and scorn to being made fun of and having their values and wishes completely dismissed. One woman was saying, over and over, “I do NOT give you permission to do this, I do NOT give you permission to do this” (episiotomy), and it was done anyway. That’s just one example.
I didn’t finish the book due in part to a computer crash, but moreso because it was painful to write. Granted, some women had a good experience with their OB or midwife, but those were alas the smaller number of participants.
This site is designed as a spot to vent. There are a gazillion places out there on the web where people can talk about their wonderful experiences. Why do you have to fuss about this site not being that kind of place? Also, don’t overlook Thoughtful Thursdays. It keeps the discussion in perspective as well.
Dee
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 2:51 pm (Quote)
Woohoo! A troll!
Too bad I have no spare change to pay the troll at the bridge. Oh. Wait. I’m getting “troll” confused with “toll.” Trolls don’t have to be paid anything.
Phew.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 2:53 pm (Quote)
P.S. When we get a REALLY famous troll on here defending the current typical American obstetric viewpoint – say, Dr Amy – then we’ll know we’re famous.
[Reply]
Honeybee Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 5:22 pm (Quote)
In some fairy tales, you did pay the troll a toll to cross their bridge/territory. But since this is a communal territory, no ones getting paid.
[Reply]
Kyra Reply:
September 26th, 2010 at 10:41 am (Quote)
Woo hoo, back atcha darlin. Let’s call someone who doesn’t agree with you a “troll”. Not only lacks originality, but that’s not what a “troll” means. What are you like 7 years old or something? Do you know what I call self-righteous name callers? BITCH.
[Reply]
prochoicedoula Reply:
September 26th, 2010 at 11:53 am (Quote)
I prefer “troll” because it’s not sexist. Like “bitch” is.
[Reply]
Okay, I am a conservative and disagree with the homosexual lifestyle. But how on earth can anyone equate wanting a baby and loving your niece to being a pedophile, regardless of sexual orientation? And DepoProvara is the devil. I took it twice when I was 17 (being stupid and thinking that not having a period would be awesome). It screwed my period up for almost 2 years, and it only got back to normal on birth control. And I am now 23 and been trying to get pregnant for three years, and still no baby. I don’t know if its the Depo, but I don’t trust it.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:42 am (Quote)
My mother (who isn’t conservative, merely insane, IMO – I have a number of deeply conservative friends, so I do know the difference!) is convinced that there is a tie between homosexuality/lesbianism and pedophilia. She wanted to send me to a deprogrammer when she found out I had a girlfriend (by opening my long distance phone bills and questioning me until I broke, which didn’t take all that long because I don’t like hiding things anyway). She was convinced that some adult had “tainted” me in the past, and my girlfriend being four years older than I was (I was in college!) only confirmed it.
Never mind that “deprogramming” usually involves raping the lesbian until she is convinced of the benefits of having sex with a man instead of another woman. I don’t think my mother knew what professional “deprogrammers” of lesbians do – I’m willing to give her that much.
Anyway, she is also firmly convinced that all gay men are ultimately pedophiliacs.
There ARE people who think the two are tied together. Statistics say that most child sexual abuse is men hurting young girls, usually stepdaughters, the daughters of their girlfriends, nieces, etc – children and young adolescents that they have easy access to. To a certain mindset, however, the statistics do not convince.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:14 pm (Quote)
Sarah- I also think my mother is just insane. Let’s send them to a desert island together and they can be narrow minded and insane together! I’m glad you’re strong enough to be who you are and not who someone wants you to be.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 5:20 pm (Quote)
Let’s lock them in an exitless room, with a camera hidden in it, and charge people to watch. We could even take bets on which one would ultimately survive.
Have I mentioned on here that she also threatened me with clitorectomy when she thought I’d lost my virginity, when I was a senior in high school? (I hadn’t, but she refused to believe me. It wasn’t a good year.)
My father is as crazy as a football bat, too, in his own way. I think this is why their marriage has endured for decades.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:28 pm (Quote)
I think you have mentioned it. That just blows my mind that people would actually consider inflicting that on anyone, let alone their child.
I second the vote for an exitless room! Sadly (or this might be a good thing) she hasn’t found anyone to match her craziness. She never threatened me, she’s just in general very kooky and has a Jekyl and Hyde personality that eventually drove even me away (she’s pushed her family in Ohio away) because money > grandchild/happiness of child. What’s extra kooky is that I’m adopted and got this. Hey, at least my Dad is pretty normal.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 7:57 am (Quote)
Then definitely – let’s get the exitless observation room and set something up with Ticketmaster. I bet we could start a trend. I doubt we’re the only posters here with whacked out parental units. Maybe we could even make videotapes and sell them to TLC for yet another brainless reality series.
[Reply]
Honeybee Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 5:29 pm (Quote)
I love my mom, and she’s crazy. She’s a very conservative Christian (and considering she was a hash smoking hippy that is a big change). However, her view on homosexuality has always been that it’s not her place to judge. It’s her job to love, and have compassion, and it’s a view she GOT from my little sister (12 then). But she also thinks me liking girls is a “phase” and seems less upset that I’d sleep with a guy than that I’d like a girl and do nothing.
[Reply]
Without reading the 54 posts before me, male sex offenders ARE given shots of depo provera. It’s a chemical castration.
[Reply]
Michelle Potter had this to say,
Jun 14, 2010 @ 2:49 pm (Quote)
That has to be one of the top ten most disgusting things I have ever read on this site, and I have read every single one, from the beginning. When a woman says she’s thinking she’d like to have children, there simply are NO reasonable responses that involve pedophilia. That’s just wrong.
[Reply]
You know the history of Depo was actually for pedophiles and rapists. It caused severe impotence in men and of course if they can’t get it up they can’t hurt a woman or child… right? Yeah, an they shoot women up with that garbage. Oh and HELLO Lesbians usually need at least donor sperm to conceive to the Depo would be going a BIT overboard, not to mention it’s flat out a civil AND human rights violation. I hope the OP reported this sadistic homophobe to the right authorities after that nasty threat.
[Reply]
My apologies for not returning sooner today to reply. I’m the OP on this. Let me clear some things up. This happened to a very dear friend of mine back in January. She called me up very upset and her girlfriend confirmed that this is exactly what the OBGYN stated to my friend.
She told her OBGYN that she had stopped taking her birth control because she was not with a male partner. The OBGYN dropped the subject until she (the Dr.) asked if my friend had any plans for the weekend and she mentioned that she would be baby sitting her niece and that she was starting to think about having a child. That’s when she made the comment.
The OBGYN that she went to isn’t exactly the best around but we live in an extremely homophobic part of the state and comments like these aren’t uncommon. My friend talked to the heads of this particular clinic with her lawyer and the OBGYN is still practicing, unfortunately but they are on some sort of reprimand.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:32 pm (Quote)
I hope your friend is able to either find a route to concieve a child or adopt a child at some point. People like her who really want a child and have so much love to give really deserve that. The doctor’s comment disgusts me and there is no way in my mind that it can be interpreted to be “okay” at all. Kudos to her for reporting it, I only hope the OB would have been more severly reprimanded.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:34 pm (Quote)
Oh, by the way.. I also wanted to add that I know two wonderful ladies who have just concieved their second child via IUI. If your friend is at all interested in it I can try to help put her in contact with these ladies on the message boards I know them through. They may have insight for her or just in general be another support network. Plus the boards we frequent have some wonderful ladies in general.
[Reply]
kina_21 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 6:40 pm (Quote)
Thank you Cmat. They’ve been thinking very long and hard about IUI but aren’t sure if they should adopt or try IUI.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 7:46 pm (Quote)
I sent an email to the person I know. If she’s okay with it I will pass that info along to you.
[Reply]
Cmat Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 11:17 am (Quote)
Okay Kina_21, if your friend would like to she can contact Kholmes on Justmommies.com (she would need to make an account and head to the message boards). Kari usually posts in her due date club which is december, she could find that in the drop down lists for the forums. She can also send her a message through the boards. Your friend can probably find a lot of other woman that are either going through adoption or are using IUI or other medical procedures for conception. Hope she can find some good support and more friends there!
[Reply]
Kina, I am so sorry your friend had to put up with this horrible treatment. I hope the reprimand made this doctor suffer. I hope that word will get out what an unfriendly practice she has (although you said it was in a conservative part of the country), people will leave the practice and go elsewhere.
[Reply]
The idea that homosexuals shouldn’t breed has been around for ages. I am not surprised at all by this woman’s story.
http://www.infowars.com/msnbc-in-cover-up-of-manifestly-provable-population-control-plan/
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 2:57 pm (Quote)
Even if my sexual orientation weren’t controversial, my autism and income level both qualify me for lectures from genetic counselors, social workers, etc.
Eugenics: it’s what’s for dinner.
Oh, no. Now I’m going to develop an eating disorder, because eugenics makes me want to toss my cookies. I guess I just can’t win, eh?…
[Reply]
The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Aug 13, 2010 @ 11:09 am (Quote)
OK, in this situation, this is freaking bizarre. And has nothing to do with pedophilia.
On another note, however, I wish they *would* give repeat sex offenders a shot of Depo. I have never seen anything anywhere that suggests they really do, though. Way back in the days of my youth LOL I worked in a pharmacy that did meds for long-term care facilities and did a double blink when I filled an Rx for a man’s birth control pills. Apparently, it works, though.
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
Previous Post
« “What’s *SHE* Doing Here?” Next Post
“If You Didn’t Want Complications, You Shouldn’t Have Gotten Pregnant…” »
« “What’s *SHE* Doing Here?” Next Post
“If You Didn’t Want Complications, You Shouldn’t Have Gotten Pregnant…” »
What?! Is she insinuating … ?
I don’t know why I keep coming back to this site. It just infuriates me every time I read yet another ridiculous comment made by someone who should know better. sigh.
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 8:22 am Sarah Dorrance-Minch(Quote)
I come back because whenever I read one of these outrageous comments, it is implicit in the nature of the site that I have carte blanche to ridicule the medical professional who made it (or at least ridicule the comment), in as cruel and snide a fashion as I can muster. It relieves a lot of stress.
If some of my poison is actually useful for helping a woman who is on the fence about changing care providers, standing up for herself in the face of a threatened and medically unnecessary intervention, feeling better about her own instincts, etc., then all the better. I like to be useful. But ultimately, a lot of it boils down to the fact that I am not, and have never, been “nice.” I’m a flaming bitch. There are few targets out there for me to sharpen my claws on, and I would rather direct my scratchiness to a target that, quite frankly, deserves it than to a target that does not.
I don’t speak for any of the other regulars here.
[Reply]
Sheva Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:05 pm Sheva(Quote)
You speak for me, and said it better than I ever could. Thanks!
[Reply]
Mistie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:40 pm Mistie(Quote)
Oh yes Sarah, I think you speak foe a few of us.
[Reply]
Amanda Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 11:07 am Amanda(Quote)
Yep!
[Reply]