Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You Know Better Now…Come To The Hospital As Soon As Your Water Breaks!”
“You know better now, so next time you come to the hospital as soon as your water breaks.” -L&D Nurse transporting a mother who was a homebirth transfer to the nursery to see her baby.
My water didn’t break until we’d been *in* the hospital for a while already – then after, they said they didn’t know when it broke, that it could have before I went in 8-S
- didn’t even want to be there, then got stuck for a week there because of problems they caused; would have been safer at home.
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LOL @ Jane… I was thinking the exact same thing! With my 1st 2 they broke my water and out popped a baby with my 3rd it finally broke on it’s own but the baby came right along with it… lovely advice indeed! But you know… L&D nurses know EVERYTHING!!!
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Oh yes, because laboring at home is so uncomfortable and there’s no machines that go “ping!” Had I just come to the hospital you could have told me that I’m not progressing fast enough the jammed an IV in my arm to induce me. Then if that didn’t go fast enough for you you could have sliced me open. My stoopids are gone now.
OP: I hope you gave her a piece of your mind and that you get your home birth next time.
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Let’s see… with my first two births, my water was broken by the nurse and midwife (respectively) right before the babies were born. With #3, my water actually broke in its own… about a minute before the baby was born. So yeah, her advice would not have worked out for me.
I would be frightened to have such an uneducated, uninformed nurse caring for me.
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I know better than to give this hospital my business in the future, if this sort of patronizing treatment is what I can expect from it, lady. Preaching and opining is not part of your job description, and if you think my being in the hospital due to an unforeseen accident makes you more knowledgable about birth than me, hoo boy, you’ve got another think coming.
Some time let me introduce you to my five-shelf bookshelf of birth-and-obstetrics-related reading material. Autistic perseverations can be very useful sometimes. In the meantime, keep your opinions to yourself.
Thbbbbbbbbt.
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Cmat Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:10 pm (Quote)
You should teach a class on bed side manner for doctors and nurses. Final course before clinicals. I bet you’d scare the nasty ones off
.
Otherwise, just become a midwife
.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 8:13 am (Quote)
I am considering becoming a childbirth educator – not only would it let me have a career in a field of my obsession, but if I were independent, I could set my own hours… around my family schedule.
I don’t think I would make a good midwife. In case nobody here has noticed, I am opinionated and tactless and far from nonjudgmental. A friend of mine who, like me, is a fan of the musical 1776 says I’m kind of like the character John Adams. “He’s obnoxious and disliked, did you know that?”
I like being a regular on the peanut gallery here. I don’t want to find myself quoted here and forced to eat my own peanuts…
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I certainly learned my lesson NOT to go in just because my water broke! I learned to go in (if I’m going to go in) in transition and not before. Alas, when your dumb body decides to go into transition way early, that’s no better than the early SROM! lol
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The OP can correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like maybe mom and/or baby got an infection after a prolonged SROM and that is why baby was in the nursery. So the nurse decided to chastise the poor mom. But, an infection is much more likely to be happen in the hospital than at home. Plus, if you go in right away you are put on the clock and the cascade of interventions begins.
I made the mistake of going in as soon as my water broke, before I was having regular contractions. I ended up doing my entire labour at the hospital to end up with a repeat (unne)cesarean. I didn’t go into labour until the next morning (water broke in the early afternoon) and I didn’t sleep at all in the hospital that night (you get admitted to antepartum if you come in with SROM and not in labour)
I wish it was like what happened to my friend in the UK, she went in with her water broken and not in labour, they sent her home and told to come back in 72 hours to be induced if she hadn’t gone into labour (or when she was in labour, whatever came first).
To the OP, I am sorry this nurse said something so condescending to you after you had to transfer to the hospital. It is just awful that after your birth is already not going how you want that you have to deal with such attitude from the know-it-all hospital staff.
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Jane Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 9:45 am (Quote)
Nicole, I’m sorry you had that experience.
I find it odd that when your water breaks, they warn you immediately not to put ANYTHING in there because it might cause infection. No tampons, no fingers, no tub-baths, no intercourse. Nothing. Not only that, but merely having ruptured membranes is dangerous, even if nothing goes up there.
Then you go to the hospital and five people stick their fingers in you and force them all the way up the cervix to the baby’s head.
So it’s dangerous if I do it, and it’s dangerous if no one does it, but it’s perfectly safe if random people do it in the hospital. Gotcha.
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Nicole Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 9:55 am (Quote)
I know, it is crazy. When I went in, the resident had the student with him check me (and it was obvious with his behaviour and his reaction upon hearing he assessed correctly, I was one of is first exams) and then he did (after it was confirmed my water had broken (the resident commented that there was a lot of fluid pooled before he even did the swab) I really wish I had asked to go home when they found me to be 1 cm.
I know better now, and will hopefully be better at telling my doula clients to consider carefully if they want to go in right away after SROM like they are told. My doula tried to tell me, but I didn’t listen.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 2:49 pm (Quote)
A woman I met on the bus told me that when she gave birth at one of the local hospitals that has a largeish number of Medicaid patients, she was given Demerol in her IV drip overnight to “help her sleep” and kept waking up to find a different person’s hand up her vagina, checking her cervix. She wasn’t sure of the exact number, but it had to have been at least ten people. “I got more action that night than I did on my wedding night,” she laughed, and in my appalled silence, repeated herself, I guess figuring that I hadn’t heard her the first time or I’d be laughing at her joke with her.
I am told that in Canada, it is common practice (if highly unethical) to have medical interns practice giving pelvic exams on unconscious patients.
I didn’t know it was legal here in America.
And this was at a private Catholic hospital, too, FWIW. Something tells me the patients with Cadillac private insurance plans never experienced anything like that.
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Jane Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 3:37 pm (Quote)
Don’t be too sure. The patients would have to complain to their insurance company, but the company doesn’t complain to the hospital or take action if they’re not billed per internal exam.
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KB Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 4:07 pm (Quote)
I am in Canada, as a Birth Unit RN at a women’s teaching hospital and I would just like to say that is is NOT practice for interns to practice giving pelvic exams on women under anaesthesia. I don’t know where you got your info – but totally unethical and totally not true!
I would also like to add that at our facility we like to have women come in after an SRM to confirm it (if needed) and to check on baby. If no concerns and the woman is GBS – , then she goes home without a PV exam. We may sometimes do a quick check with the ultrasound to ensure the baby is head down, only if we’re unsure of the leopolds maneuvers.
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Nicole Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 8:11 pm (Quote)
I am glad to hear your hospital would send a woman home in a situation like that. I hope mine does too someday (I am in Saskatchewan)
The pelvic exams referred to by Sarah do happen though, not in L&D, but in other gynaecological surgeries. Here is an article about it http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/time-to-end-pelvic-exams-done-without-consent/article1447337/
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 8:00 pm (Quote)
Bliss, thy name is innocence. Or at least ignorance. Anyway, since you apparently missed the shitstorm of scandal a few months ago:
http://www.womanist-musings.com/2010/01/pelvic-exam-without-permission-is-rape.html
If you want more, google “women in Canada given pelvic exams while unconscious.” Or something similar. I was going to cut and paste more, but I started getting error messages. My poor ancient computer doesn’t like having several pages open at once.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 8:08 pm (Quote)
Take that, silly computer. (Next tax refund you’re getting replaced by a used Apple laptop, anyway. Hmph.)
I suspect it is not common practice for obstetric patients to be subjected to “practice” pelvic exams while unconscious because most gynecological surgery (including the specialty of obstetric wards, the c-section) is done under epidural or spinal anaesthesia, rather than general anaesthesia. You can’t “practice” on an unwilling subject if she is awake and aware enough to say, “Hey, I’m not interested in being a guinea pig, okay?”
The unasked for pelvic exams occur when a female patient is knocked out under general anaesthesia for surgery. If we were back to the old days of “twilight sleep” followed by knocking mothers out with gas completely just prior to the baby’s crowning, I bet you’d see a LOT more “practicing” on the part of the med students.
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Brenda Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 3:35 pm (Quote)
I’m personally convinced it was all the vaginal checks they subjected me to after my water broke (which happened before labor began, but they insisted I come in RIGHT NOW OMG YOUR WATERS IS BROKE), that caused my son’s infection when he was born.
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Jane Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 3:37 pm (Quote)
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Cmat Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:15 pm (Quote)
Ugh I’m sorry your experience was so crummy
. I went in because contractions were getting very close together and painful and on the way in my water broke. NOW, I know not to do that. Not even calling the birth center. But then I’ve also now had the experience so I know what labor is like.
I refused exams after an OB (checking me before starting pitocin) tried manually dialating me without telling me. I was crawling backwards up the bed in pain and she wouldn’t stop. After that the only one I would spread ‘em for was when they were checking to see if I was fully dialated when I said I needed to push.
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Jessica Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:11 am (Quote)
Ugh my evil mw tried to turn my sons head w/her fingers when i was at two cm!!! she never warned me i wanted to climb the wall behind me it was so painful… this time everyone can keep their stuff out of there until i say so or there is a baby popping out.
i hate how transfers are treated like crap..
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Susan Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 3:05 am (Quote)
I’m in England, and with my first, my waters broke before contractions started. I phoned the hospital and they had me come in just to make sure all was well, and then sent me home with instructions to come back daily for a NST and scheduled an induction for 3 days later. My son was born later that day, but I was glad to not have to think of induction at that point. I had unnecessary interventions as it was (well, would’ve been unnecessary had I had a more supportive and more experienced midwife). Oh, and I didn’t have any internal exams when I first went in.
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This one seriously enrages me. I was supposed to have a waterbirth at a birth center with my latest pregnancy (4th child), but my water broke on its own 3wks early and my body would not progress. After waiting at the birth center for about 12 hours (water broken for 30hrs at that point) we made the call to transfer to the hospital to try some … See Morecytotec and return to the birth center to do the water birth. Sadly when we got there and my midwife checked I was too far dilated for the cytotec *5cm* so I had to be admitted and put on pitocin. It was broken for about 34hrs by the time I was hooked to the pit. After laboring for 40hrs and 16 min, 6hrs of which were on pitocin with NO epidural or any other pain med I delivered my baby girl vaginally. I know for a fact had I not had a very supportive midwife I would have been given a c-section before 24hrs with my water broken. They monitored my daughter for 2 days in the NICU to make sure she didn’t have an infection, which she didn’t. Needless to say I was insanely heartbroken that I did not get the birth experience I had planned and was shocked with how things went since I had never had any problems like this the first 3 times I have birthed. This was my first try going completely natural without pain meds. If I had a nurse or doctor say what this person did to me I would have FLIPPED OUT. In most cases there is NO NEED for interventions and all that they routinely do in a hospital. The experience itself was devastating enough I couldn’t imagine having such a heartless nurse say those things on top of it. My heart goes out to the woman that experienced that.
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Jane Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:11 pm (Quote)
Did I read that right: they kept her separated from you and in the NICU for two DAYS for no reason other than your membranes had been ruptured for 40 hours?
She was fine and showed no signs of infection, but they STILL kept her from you? How awful!
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Lauretta Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:56 pm (Quote)
Yes, you unfortunately read that correct. We had originally planned to leave in the morning when she was about 12 hours or so old, but they wanted blood testing done first to check for infection. They took her from me for several hours and when they finally brought her back they had to take her AGAIN because the blood clotted for one of the tests and they needed more. She was probably stuck at least 10 times. I was so pissed. Each time I’d ask about the test results the nurse would tell me, but then when I asked about the one for the infection she informed me the NICU ped would be coming to speak with me. At that point I knew they were going to want her in the NICU. Sure enough the guy said one of her levels came back showing higher results for possible sepsis and he was concerned her temps dropped twice during the night (I later found out once was right before a bath). They said they would keep her a minimum of 2 days possibly 5 or 6 if the levels got worse. I was devastated and cried. At that point they hadn’t even brought her back from her last blood test. They admitted her immediately to NICU and I was told that I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed for at least 24hrs because the milk may make the infection worse in her stomach. I started pumping immediately and after 6hrs *and constant bugging of the nurses for updates on when I would finally see my baby again* I was allowed into the NICU to see her. The doctor said her newer testing came back with better results so he allowed me to syringe feed her some of the breastmilk. I didn’t get her officially back to the actual breast until 24hrs after her admittance though. Long story short we ended up finding out the place where they drew her blood was not uncommon for bringing back “high” results. So after 48hrs of monitoring and meds in the NICU they released her saying she had no infection. I felt our initial bonding time was tainted and I’ve felt robbed of what very well could be my last child’s first few days.
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Cmat Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:18 pm (Quote)
I’m also surprised they kept her for two days in nicu. That just doesn’t seem reasonable, but the hospitals do have a history of c.y.a.! It would have been hard for me to ignore that comment. I don’t think I could have had a snappy come back, I think it just would have upset me. First things didn’t go as hoped, then hearing something like that.. ugh.
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Lauretta Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:58 pm (Quote)
I was glad it was only the 2 and not the 6 they said it could have been. Oh and when inquiring what was taking so long for me to be allowed to go visit my daughter in the NICU the nurse told me, “Oh you don’t want to see her right now anyways. She’s sorta messed up looking since they’re trying to get all the tubes and wires in.” It took everything I had not to start bawling or to not punch her in the face.
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Brige Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 7:25 pm (Quote)
Why> a NICU stay = more money… YOur baby your choice… my baby never leaves my side or if emergent care is needed my husbands, everything is monitored… try to keep the mama lion away from her cub, and things are bound to get ugly real fast… So sorry they did this to you… Babies need their mamas even more when they’re in situations like that… it amazes me at how the NICU/PEDS staff act at times…
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Cmat Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 6:15 am (Quote)
That’s exactly what I was thinking.. doesn’t baby need mom quite a bit? I mean, breastfeeding is incredibly important early on, especially when baby is a bit early or anything like that.
Even despite my son being healthy and one of the most easy going babies ever, the nurses still tried to talk us into sending him to the nursery every chance they got.
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4 of 7 babies of mine broke the water at the very end…just before birth or right at birth. One was born in the caul. The last one the water was broken by the midwife about 20 mintues before birth. I would have not ever made it to the hospital. The 1st baby’s water was broken by the doctor about an hour before birth. None were hours before at home….
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My last baby was born under the caul so I’m cool with this
, except, if the baby is already here then why bother going to the hospital
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alyssa Reply:
July 10th, 2010 at 10:47 pm (Quote)
absofreakinlutely!!! i wouldnt have made it to the hospital even if was going as i was labouring fine, chatting with my best friend between contractions and all of a sudden i was pushing!! nothing would have induced me to leave then and he was born in 2 and a half hours from start to finish. 10lb 3 oz. perfectly healthy, although i did hemmorage a bit, so it was good i had a midwife there, but if everythings fine, why bother go to the hospital??!!
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My water broke right at the beginning, all dramatic like in the movies. I went to the hospital 7-8 hours later, at which point they determined that it was likely to be a good long while, so they suggested I might go home for the day. They made it clear I could stay if I wanted. I went home, but it’s a bit of a toss-up about which would have been better. It was nice to be home, but if I’d stayed, I could have kept the room with the nice deep jacuzzi tub (these were all taken when I got back, and I was sad), and they would have brought us hot meals on command.
No one at the hospital thought it was necessary or even desirable to stay there when my labor wasn’t very far along, though they were clear that I was welcome to stay if that’s what I wanted.
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But doctors don’t like women in the water after their water has broken for fear of infection, so you probably wouldn’t have been able to use the jacuzzi anyway.
And that “breastfeeding will make the infection worse” story is a gigantic heap of crap! If anything, it would have helped fight it because of breastmilk’s healing properties.
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Lauretta Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:20 am (Quote)
That’s actually not true about being in the water after your water breaking. If you are progressing just fine there is no problem with laboring and birthing in the water. Water does not go up into the vagina just from sitting in it. Unfortunately many doctors are not educated enough about waterbirth and that it really is safe if there are no complications. And the breastfeeding story you are referring to was mine. The reason it would have made the infection worse was because of it possibly being something wrong in the stomach.
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I know that and I have labored in the bathtub with my first after my water broke (the tub hurt my knees so I got out and birthed on the couch) and my water broke in the pool with my new little one and I did have her in the water.
When I told my doctor of my plans though, he had a coniption and spouted all sorts of myths about water birth (including that my baby would drown). Seems to me that doctors generally think that broken water = everything but their gloved hands will cause infection.
I would think formula would be a bigger infection risk than breastmilk though…unless they denied your baby any food at all and gave her IV sugar water which sounds downright cruel because she would still be hungry!
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It is a shame how uneducated doctors can be. A baby will not drown from being birthed into water. Heck, they float in amniotic fluid for 9 months.
My daughter didn’t get any formula. I would not have allowed it. During the several hours between her last feeding and my finally getting to go in the NICU to see her she was given sugar water through an IV tube directly to her stomach (through her umbilical cord stump). By the time I was allowed in to see her she had gotten new test results that showed she would be able to receive breastmilk. Because of all the tubes and wires she was hooked up to I was not allowed to hold her and put her to the breast so she received her feedings with a syringe the first 24hrs in the NICU. The following day they took her off some of the tubes and wires and I was able to put her back to the breast.
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I’m so late to this! I don’t have the Internet at home so I wasn’t able to comment until now.
The nurse who said this to me also lifted up the sheets to check on my stitches (I tore) without saying anything. None of the other nurses checked my stitches and she didn’t even say anything like “I’m going to angerly examine your crotch now”, she just lifted up the sheets to look. I slammed the sheets back down and asked what she was doing and she got *mad* at me. (I didn’t ask angerly, BTW). Like I was somehow putting her off by being shocked that she wanted to check on my tear. She was psycho.
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“Yes, because after reading all those books about home birth and normal pregnancy and normal delivery, I got a terrible case of Teh Stoopids. And if I come here early in labor, I can be properly indoctrinated! Thank you for saving me from myself!”
PS: My water only breaks when I’m at 10cm. In the last three pregnancies, it’s been exactly like that: water breaks, and then one minute later I have a baby in my arms. So this nurse’s advice would be lovely for me.
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Kayla. Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 7:07 am Kayla.(Quote)
Exactly! Some L&D nurses are idiots (this one!) and she just should’ve kept her mouth shut, because it was after the fact.
My water broke and I labored at home for 30 hours or so before going into the doctor, I would’ve HATED to go to the hospital and be there for that long.
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cheeks023 Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 8:20 am cheeks023(Quote)
yep…that’s me too! splash = babe-in-arms.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 8:56 am Sarah Dorrance-Minch(Quote)
“Saving us from ourselves” is EXACTLY how most LDRP nurses view mothers who come in as homebirth transfers… or mothers who make the mistake of admitting, in a social setting, that they plan on giving birth at home… or mothers who plan on going to the hospital, but have no intention of lying still in bed and getting continuous monitoring, an IV line for various and sundry, an epidural, and all the other standard interventions…
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VW Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 12:54 am VW(Quote)
Yes! I had the same “now you know better” comment from a NICU nurse…mind you, my transfer to the hospital non-emergent and the reason my daughter was in the NICU was almost certainly a result of the hospital interventions we ended up with after the transfer…but of course the cow had no clue and in my birth- and trauma-related haze, I didn’t have the wherewithal to rip her a new one. Would like to go back to finish the job, though!
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Jane Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:21 am Jane(Quote)
Ah, you’ve encountered the see-what-you-want mindset.
Complications that happen at home happen BECAUSE you were at home.
Complications that happen at the hospital happen DESPITE being at the hospital.
Doctor-induced complications are acceptable. Natural complications are unacceptable.
See? Now we both “know better.”
(I too fought urges to go back and finish the job. Instead I wrote a Dragonball Z fanfic where, during the story, Vegeta blew up the car of one of the obstetric nurses who messed up his son’s birth. You can do that in fiction, but they frown on that in real life.) LOL!
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Paper Raisins Reply:
June 12th, 2010 at 6:53 pm Paper Raisins(Quote)
I sprung a leak about 27 hours before my daughter was born… that would have been one boring wait at the hospital!!!
Glad I hung out in the comfort of my own home for about 25 of the 27 hours!!!
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