I actually don’t have a huge problem with this. I have a couple of friends who planned a drug-free birth and when the birthing day arrived, they opted for some sort of pain relief and feel guilty/weak for having done that. I believe you DO need to have an open mind when it comes to birthing. Several of my friends had no plans for an unmedicated birth but, due to various circumstances, that’s what they got (one birthed in the car on the way to the hospital).

I planned an unmedicated birth but when I became physically & mentally exhausted and we found out my baby had flipped sunny side up & my cervix was swelling, I decided I needed something so could rest. My midwife & I chose stadol. After a 1.5 hour nap, I woke up fully dilated & ready to push out a baby who had flipped back over. Water therapy, meditation, vocalizing…none of it was helping me relax. Had I not had an open mind, I feel certain I would have ended up with a csection due to my cervix swelling.

The key is to keep an open mind by fully understanding your options. I felt empowered because I made the decision to request a medication & to use stadol after being fully informed of the risks & benefits.

No, we never know that. We should definitely keep an open mind. Both you and me, Doc.

I could say the same to YOU doctor! And a bit of support would be nice! *sigh*

“Because once I turn up the PItocin full blast, I’m going to make sure you’re screaming for an epidural, okay?”

I actually don’t have a problem with this statement. I do agree that you should keep an open mind when it comes to birth. I have friends who planned an unmedicated, natural childbirth and, for various reasons, it did not happen that way. I also have SEVERAL friends who had no plans for an unmedicated birth, but that’s what happened – one giving birth in the car en route to the hospital.

I planned a natural, unmedicated birth but after many many hours of laboring & becoming physically and mentally exhausted, I felt like something was not right. My midwife checked me and not only had my baby flipped sunny-side up, my cervix was also swelling. I knew I needed to relax and asked my midwife for suggestions. Based on her recommendation & after hearing the risks and benefits, I settled on stadol along with a bag of fluids because I felt dehydrated even though I had been drinking to stay hydrated non-stop. 1.5 hours later, I woke up fully dilated and ready to push out a correctly positioned baby. Had I not kept an open mind about pain medication, I would have ended up with a c-section – I felt that before we found out what was going on with my baby & cervix.

I can’t judge this OB based solely on this statement because this statement alone is sound advice, in my opinion. We can plan all we want, but the baby & our bodies can change those plans and we shouldn’t feel guilty (many women do) if our plans go astray. I felt empowered by my decisions during my son’s birth because I made sure I was fully informed about my options and I had the final say; that makes all the difference in the world.

Hmmm, how come her slight disappointment of needing pain drugs in an extreme circumstance is more important than you showing any sort of sympathy or care when she tells you that something is wrong with her baby/body?

This is insidious – and you see it ALL the time, whether in parenting magazines, _What To Expect_, posts on BabyCenter, advice from health professionals…

It seems very supportive on the surface.

It sounds like, “No matter what, we’ll be there for you. All births are different and they can be unpredictable. Nobody will think badly of you if you ask for something to take the edge off the pain, or if there’s an emergency that needs to be addressed.”

That’s what it sounds like.

Sometimes, that’s what it means, too, and that’s not entirely bad. It’s actually very well meant, and it is client-centred, which is a good thing.

Unfortunately, many times it also means, “We have never seen a normal birth, we will be managing your labour from the moment you walk into the hospital, and we ignore birth plans. But don’t worry, we can give you plenty of drugs so that you don’t feel a thing, and we can provide lots of scientific-sounding explanations for our routine interventions, so that you don’t beat yourself up for allowing them – or take us to court.”

This one was mine, and at the time I didn’t think it was that bad of a statement either…..until I had an unnecesary cesarean.

Little did I know that my OB had the highest c/s rates in that clinic, and pretty much no one squeaks by unmedicated and/or uncut with that doctor.

So now that it’s all said and done….those words from *that* OB’s mouth were pretty bad.

I understand that many other doctors may say the same thing to their patients and truly be supportive, but IMO this doc wasn’t fond of labor with out drugs and out of bed and he’d find any excuse to not have to wait around for labor to progress.

Sounds like doc DID know how this labor would turn out! But that’s because he likes to cut (one way or another). Sorry for your unnecessary cesarean. The necessary ones seem to be overshadowed by all the unnecessary ones.

I think that if this was coming from someone who was *actually* supportive, he would have said that as long as nothing unusual happens, she should be able to have the birth she wants, but unusual things sometimes do happen, so she should keep an open mind. The way he said it showed no faith in her and made it seem like he thought her plans were over before they even began.

I actually don’t mind this, as long as its not a pretext to overwhelming her with her medication options. Simply let her know that should she feel like she needs something, all she needs to do is ask. Otherwise, help her as much as you can on that path to unmedicated birth. I had a log of people think that I had closed off the option of medication when in reality, I had not.. but I also knew the reality that it was going to be painful, but pain with a purpose.

Reason number 328 why I choose a midwife to deliver my children!

Umm, I’m sorry, but I don’t see anything wrong with the statement. Now, obviously, the OB in question didn’t mean what he’d said, but still, it wasn’t nearly as offensive as some of the other gems on here. Hey, let’s face it, as much as we may plan to have a medicated or unmedicated birth, sometimes sh!t happens, and you need to tweak those plans a little. When I had my daughter, I wanted an epidural, but I prepared myself for the possibility of having to give birth without any medicine. When I went into labor, I was ready for either situation. I think to not tell this to a patient is wrong, b/c then she may only prepare for one type of birth, and if things don’t go as planned, she may feel like she failed.