“Yeah, because when I read Italo Calvino’s “The Cloven Viscount” during college, I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever heard. That way, the right half of me can stay up with the baby while the left half naps, and later on, the left half can stay up with the baby while the right half naps!”

“Yes. That’s exactly right.”

Hey, at least the doc doesn’t have a hearing problem…

Yep exactly.

If you didn’t insist on purple pushing and “let me” push how I darn well felt like it I’d have less chance of tearing from bow to stern.

I think I’ll take my chances doc. Afterall, you have that handy dandy suture kit that you’re itching to use.

I DID tear “from stem to stern” with my first birth. My OB told me he was, basically, doing plastic surgery on me when sewed me up. You know what? I went on to have 3 more vaginal births of over 9 lb. babies, and only needed one stitch with the largest. If you tear naturally, you heal much better.

And I bet, when she probably *didn’t* tear, he didn’t say, “I’m sorry I made such an idiotic statement and just assumed you would tear without really knowing.” Yeah. Right.

And I love it how they try and use the worse, craziest, most painful analogy ever to try and scare you. Meanwhile mom is thinking “Tearing is better than cutting!” but doctor will never tell her that, probably not even if she asks. These people would rather put someone through unnecessary pain just because they don’t want to admit they were wrong. (But we know that already)

I never tore with any of my births – largest being 9lbs 5oz. I can feel a “tight” spot that I got with my first, that if I HAD pushed without control, or easing the head out that I definitely would have torn. But that’s it.

Ya know, I can push and I could possibly not tear or need stitches. Or you could cut me and I will 100% need stitches.
I’ll take my chances.

“Yes, I would rather *risk* a tear than be *guaranteed* having my vagina sliced open with a knife. That is exactly what I said and exactly what I meant.”

“Why, yes. Yes, I would.”