Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Apr
16
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Are You From Africa…?”
“Are you from Africa? Your vagina looks different, as in maybe genitally mutilated.” -OB to a mother who is a woman of color, said to her during pushing. The woman replied, “No, I am from Boston.”
There are 32 comments to this post.
What is it that makes them think that just because they’re down there they can comment on how things look. I think the only time comments are remotely appropriate is when you’re looking to say “Yep, everything looks like it healed just fine” a the pp visit.
Whoever posted this- Just like Jane said, I hope that by you responding with class you made the OB feel like the jack*ss they were.
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Jane Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 5:22 am (Quote)
See, I could get behind an OB saying, “Have you ever experienced any trauma to this area? I’m seeing something here that isn’t typical.” It would be important to know if a woman had experienced FGM because it might impact her ability to birth.
It’s the assumption chain here that’s offensive. She’s black, and he sees something quirky, so he assumes that 1) it must be something exotic, 2) it must be because she’s black, and 3) that means it must be FGM.
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Erin Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 5:32 am (Quote)
And if it WAS FGM, that is totally the wrong way to go about asking somebody if they had a traumatic experience like that.
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Heather Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 11:36 pm (Quote)
Yeah, that’s how I see it, too. He asked in a really stupid way and most likely because she was black. For heaven’s sake, until the 70s, girls in the US were still being cut routinely in some hospitals, just like boys. The anti-FGM bill wasn’t passed until 1996, and white girls got cut, too. So, on top of ASSuming based on race, they didn’t even have all the FGM facts before asking.
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Jane Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 5:23 am (Quote)
Sorry to post so often. Just thought — some doctors live for the break in routine. Maybe this doc simply wanted something exotic and exciting.
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Cmat Reply:
April 17th, 2010 at 5:35 am (Quote)
As much as they may “live for a break in routine” that’s a totally wrong way to seek one!
Sure, tell me if something may need medical attention.. but other than that, keep it to yourself doc! If they wanted to know information, they could have found a more tactful way to get it, or rtfc.
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Apr 16, 2010 @ 5:54 am (Quote)
OMG. This is terrible! Said so nonchalantly, like ‘Oh, I’ve read about that in books. Sounds awful. Anyway … ” What a drip. And what an awesome comment from this mama!
FWIW, I know an American woman who did give birth in a Presbyterian hospital in the COngo, and she said it was the only time she never tore out of all three of her kids, because the doctor there practiced traditional holistic midwifery. 
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Wow! That’s just plain racist.
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Krista Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:53 am (Quote)
As much as I hate this one, I don’t consider it to be as much racist as it is complete ignorance of FGM. It says to me that the doc truly believes FGM was never done here and was only done in Africa. How soon we forget…
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Kate Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 11:14 am (Quote)
Hence the racism. The doc believes that FGM is an ‘african thing’ and that any perceived ‘difference’ in the woman’s vagina was more likely to be FGM because of the colour of her skin.
I’m pretty shocked that this OB said this (but then I’m shocked by most of them). If this was said by a UK doc in a UK hospital they would have been reprimanded. Had it hit the press there would have been uproar. I hope a reprimand was the result of this incident, and I hope the woman involved made a formal complaint.
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Umm Abdullah had this to say,
Apr 16, 2010 @ 9:02 am (Quote)
During PUSHING? She said that during pushing?!?!! wow. terrible. kinda late though, huh? lol, GREAT response from the mom though!
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Oh yeesh! How rude! And such impeccable timing. I’ll bet he likes to bring up who pooped, puked, or bled all over the place over dinner too.
Seriously what vagina is gonna look all pretty and normal with a 6-10 pound HUMAN CHILD coming out of it?!
And during pushing?! Sure, brilliant idea Doc! If she’s been mutilated lets just humiliate her in front of all the staff and relatives in the room, and what woman in her right mind doesn’t want to get into a discussion about childhood trauma in the middle of pushing? *rolls eyes* And since she obvious was NOT, can we say open-mouth-insert-foot?! Ugh! A classless time/way to open your mouth, Doc!
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Heather Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 11:40 pm (Quote)
Since many women are proud of their circumcisions, if she actually HAD been from Africa, it might not have registered to her as embarrassing any more than a man would feel embarrassed being from the US from being circumcised. Just saying that it wouldn’t have been humiliation if she HAD had FGM performed on her and was probably more upsetting because she HADN’T.
Really stupid, heartless comment either way.
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Hey, doc, nice to meet you, too.
Or, No, sweetie, this is what women look like ‘down there’ when they’re pushing out a baby. Can you call a midwife for me, please?
And if there was something that he had never seen before (all women are different) then either he paid so little attention to her during the initial exam that he didn’t notice whatever it was he was noticing now, or he had never met the woman before the birth, and he has the manners of a sewer rat.
To echo other people’s comments, having my permission to see my private parts does not mean you have my permission to discuss sensitive subjects pertaining to them IN PUBLIC!
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Jane Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 10:34 am (Quote)
If this was the on-call doc or it was a practice with 10 different doctors, he may never have seen her down there before. The doctor who did my first birth had never done an internal on me; at Emily’s birth, the midwife had a doctor in the room because they knew Emily wasn’t going to survive but I guess they wanted to say a doctor had been present; I’d never seen her before either.
Come to think of it, because I had no internals before delivering my homebirthed baby, the midwife who did the catch also had never seen me down there until she saw a crowning head.
And yet all those people managed to keep their opinions about my body’s aesthetic qualities (or lack thereof) to themselves.
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Sheva Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 12:03 pm (Quote)
So then the sewer rat theory, then?
I’ve never had comments from my home birth midwives, but my hospital birth midwife and ALL the nurses during my 3 day stay kept commenting on my stitches and swelling and discoloration and blahblah blahblah blah.
And much of this while my parents and husband and I were trying to eat dinner.
I mean, c’mon, with the way they were yelling **PUSH!!** what else did they expect?!
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Heather Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 11:45 pm (Quote)
I never had a comment from my OBs like this, but yeah, like three different nurses had to talk about how big my hemorrhoid was… and it wasn’t even from THAT birth. I was on the verge of making a sign that says “I know I have a hemorrhoid already, it doesn’t need company so get off my ass about it.”
When the baby’s head was halfway out was the first time my OB saw my vulva and I’d had a mostly normal schedule of appointments with him since 21 weeks (when I got insurance). I refused all exams and did my own GBS test, etc.
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So rude! If she had really been mutilated then the OB would not have had any question at all. It would have been obvious. Sounds like she got the Southern Grits Special Attitude there. Special as in short bus I mean! I’d like to know what demographic the OB falls in.
@Heather
“…(he asked) because she was black. For heaven’s sake, until the 70s, girls in the US were still being cut routinely in some hospitals, just like boys. The anti-FGM bill wasn’t passed until 1996, and white girls got cut, too.”
Is this for real? I’d like to read more on this if you’ve got refs.
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Krista Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:47 am (Quote)
Amy, I believe that this is accurate (assuming you define routine in the same way we do for boys, meaning very common, but not necessarily that ALL are cut), but I’m working to find some references for you. It’s not hard to find statistics and information for the current situation, but I’m finding it much more difficult to find good resources referencing the statistical history.
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It wouldn’t necessarily have been obvious, Amy. FGM comes in many different forms, with the mildest being clitoral hood removal (The most comparable to male circumcision) So yeah, it’s possible that a woman could be circumcised but to a lesser degree to the extent that it might not be immediately obvious.
Some interesting info here: http://www.fact-archive.com/encyclopedia/Female_genital_mutilation
Still, the comment is just wrong.
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As a midwife, if she had been from Africa or the Middle East and been circumcised, I would hope that I had discussed that with her during the intial history taking at the first prenatal. I’d like to know that way ahead of time, so I could deal with it appropriately, way before pushing was happening.
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And for the win! — a woman responds with class to a stupid OB comment and, one hopes, makes the OB realize how s/he sounded.
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