Got that beat… my midwife started talking to me about what did I want to use for birth control less than an hour after my homebirth on my first trip to the bathroom…

Wow. That’s really uncalled for. Having been on the receiving end of an unwanted, unrequested pack of Birth Control pills myself I know how demeaning and intrusive it feels.

To the woman who posted this: I am sorry you had an insensitive and rude “care”giver too.

Hehe, wonder what he’d say to my mom. She planned 10 kids…only one was an oopsie and that was the only one she didn’t use NFP….(she hadn’t learned it yet).

Their last child is 5 years old. They’ve been using the ferning method and CMM for 5 years and no oopsies.

I hope the mom left the prescription on the exam table.

I wonder when being an OB gave the doctor the right to plan our family sizes?

Wow! These comments make me thankful for each of my homebirth midwives. Regardless of their opinions of my choice (along with my husband) not to use birth control, they have never once said a negative thing.

As a matter of fact when we did use NFP for “spacing” after my first was born, and we “decided” to try for another baby right away, my midwife was delighted to attend a second birth a year later.

Dear doctor,

Your patient wants you to listen and respect and absorb what she says during your 5-7 minutes with her. That’s about it.

Love,
Everyone

During my last pregnancy (baby #4, pregnancy #7) I saw a group of midwives. LITERALLY everytime I saw a different midwife they asked me about what method of birth control I planned to use. And many offered me a tubal following delivery.

Doctors are taught that it’s their duty to stop women from having more than 2 kids, especially those they deem less than fit.

I think it’s the height of busybody-ness for any health care provider to stick their nose into my fertility without my specific asking for their advice.

I was appalled when the doctor asked what birth control I planned on using after my third baby was born. This was at the first prenatal visit. And the subject was revisited at least every other visit through the postpartum visit even after stating repeatedly that we already knew what we would use and didn’t need prescription birth control. Needless to say, I don’t plan on going back there.

I’ve read accounts of women who suspect their doctors have done tubals on them without permission including one who already had like 9 kids and didn’t consent. They conveniently couldn’t find her consent form anywhere, of course. I think there’s a website of a reversal clinic where doctors offer patients advice about wanting a tubal reversal, including one woman who suspects her doctor did to her without consent, including other women in the practice she spoke to, who actually weren’t that bothered by it. This boggles my mind.

I had a CNM ask me what form of birth control I was going to use when I was there to get my IUD removed. It makes one wonder…

My Midwives gave me a depo prescription after I had my twins, even though it TOLD them I didn’t want any hormone birth control because it kills my milk supply. I found the script 2 years later in an old diaper bag. Scary.

I get similar comments every time I tell a medical professional that we use NFP to space our kids. The nurse practitioner at my current clinic even said, “Oh, the rhythm method.” *facepalm* I tried to explain how NFP was vastly different, but I don’t think it sank it. Oh well.

By the way, what’s with the “we” in “so we don’t get any more surprises”? Unless the doctor is her husband, it’s not a “we,” it’s a “you.” What’s the point of pretending solidarity with that “we” while simultaneously disregarding what the woman has decided?

I used naaaaatural methods and menses did not return until after 1 year with my first child, and 2 years with my second. But probably those docs and nurses who sneered at it, have no experience with women who actually know how to do it, and actually TOTALLY breastfeed and cosleep with their infants.
I notice no doc or CNM ever seems to push condoms. Wonder why? Perhaps because there’s no money in that for them?

I was frankly shocked when one of my husband’s older female relatives whom I barely know said how nice it was we had a boy and a girl, so we didn’t have to have any more. I was very affronted, and if anyone, whoever she is, ever says that to me again, I plan on laughing wryly and saying pointedly “It always amazes me that other people would even have an opinion on something that intimate between me and my husband!”

I also despise the constant question of “so, are you having any more” but realize that some people think that is a conversational opener. Probably if I then asked them if they really want to discuss my sex life with my husband in detail, they would get the point.

It amazes me how a “woman’s choice” has turned into “everyone’s choice”. Moms, grandparents, doctors, nurses, strangers… It’s really getting old.

I had two kids within 2 years while living with my parents. Everyone seemed to think it was their business to tell me that now we had two kids we needed to stop. I was offered a tubal with my second’s c-section. Now that we’re on our own, they still don’t stop! One family member last WEEK actually suggested (hopefully tongue-in-cheek but IDK) that a “certain body part” could be wired shut! I was horrified!

Yes, I use birth control, but for medical reasons that my husband and I agree are worth the risks of the bc. If I was at a healthy stage of my life, I would have no problem using FAM or nothing at all!

The only time I’ve ever had a midwife encourage me to use birth control was AFTER I brought up the topic, and only because my first two were less than a year apart, and she wanted me to give my body some time to catch its breath.
I’ve had random people comment that I have enough already, (I only had 2 of my 4 kids with me ) how it must be such a handful, and once, I answered a guy, “Yes, but it’s so hard to stop – they’re so cute!”

Wow, some of us actually WANT more than the politically correct 2.35 children. Some of us LOVE those kind of surprises.

And what the heck is this “we” business? Is the OB planning to bear, raise and love that little surprise too??? What is it about the letters OB that makes people think they get to authorize how many children someone ELSE produces?

I was asked what I wanted to do for birth control, and frankly my options are limited.

I can’t take anything hormonal since I had a PE in pregnancy.
I became pregnant with an IUD (and miscarried) and became pregnant with a diaphragm.

Using pull and pray is the only way we HAVEN’T become pregnant, aside from condoms lol.

Why do some doctors think they have a say so about how big of a family others should have?
When I was pregnant with my second child the first OB I seen was very pushy with the idea of me getting a tubal. I was on birth control when I conceived him and her attitude was “Since hormonal birth control was ineffective then this would keep you from getting any more surprises”.
A little history on my pregnancy. I was not married at the time and had stopped taking my bc due to the side effects. I was on it to help regulate my cycle, not for birth control and my son was the result of me being forced by my ex husband.
I told her NO to the tubal on more than one occasion, stating that this was not the right circumstance for me to be done having children (I didn’t go into detail as to why). She made the comment that I needed to “stop getting pregnant in order to find a husband.” and that with my past medical history of excessive bleeding she wouldn’t be surprised if I “needed” an emergency hysterectomy following my c-section. This sounded much like a threat to me. It was after that visit that I switched Dr.s and filed a report.

When I visited my OB for my annual pap when my second child was 7 months old he asked if I was planning anymore. When I said I couldn’t handle the hyperemesis again, he told me about a new treatment coming out for it. When I asked about a method of birth control that he had posters in his office for, he explained that too. Dr. Bowen is awesome!

I believe most ask this due to increased risks of becoming pregnant very early in the post-partum period.

As long as people can afford to provide for the kids on their own, I don’t really care how many kids they choose to have. Just my opinion.

However, I can understand a healthcare provider trying to look out for the well-being of the mother and any potential pregnancies…and preventing said pregnancies if the risks are increased due to certain situations.

I guess I’m lucky because I’ve never had a doctor say anything like that to me. They ask if I need a prescription for birth control and I pass. End of story.

We’ve always used condoms because I don’t like hormonal BC and he doesn’t trust it.

Of course, if you are out of them and not paying attention to your cycle, surprises happen and that’s why we’re due in September.

I’m sorry to touch on such a tender issue here, but it is *BEYOND* me how ACOG and AMA can tote the “reproductive freedom” party line . . . all the while shoving pills and IUDs at women and trying to dictate where and with whom they may have their babies.

Yuck.

That comment made me very thankful for my midwives. On the intake forms they ask if there are any specific concerns we have, or religious beliefs that affect fertility management. Once they knew we very firmly set on not using birth control, it wasn’t an issue from then on.

I had my second and third babies with their practice, and they helped me with a miscarriage too. Never the slightest judgment or pushiness about our family size and always express happiness at the thought of getting to deliver another one of our babies.

this is gonna be a long post…

I had baby #1 at 15 after intercourse with a condom. Long story short, they come in different sizes for a reason. It actually snapped and rolled up on him and we had to cut it off.

Baby #2 was planned, after abstinence of over a year, I fell pregnant within 6 weeks.

I then went on the pill for 6 years, just the minipill. I have many medical issues, and I actually needed it to control severe diarrhoea during my period. It didnt fail once.

Until… I was diagnosed with Graves disease in Jan 2008. My doctor said to me that due to my vastly increased metabolism (code for not absorbing nutrients/medications), my pill was ineffective, and that was why I felt so ill during my previous period. When I asked him about becoming pregnant (I didnt want another baby), he said “dont worry, women with Graves are generally infertile”. Yep. I was already 3 weeks pregnant. It was a very rocky, very managed pregnancy, but being so ill, I needed it. I was in hospital several times on TPN (intravenous nutrition) because of severe vomiting, weight loss, diarrhoea… but I was well-cared for. OT, but even my managed, induced labour was good.

After the delivery though, my OB and endo wanted to make sure I was recovered before giving me back my pill. It truly would be too dangerous for me to be pregnant again, and yes I think it is too. I was extremely unwell, and my daughter is lucky to be alive. They suggested condoms, but offered my husband a vasectomy (worried that a Tubal in me would cause issues from the anaesthetic), and we accepted it. BUT with a 2 year wait list, we are still waiting LOL. SOOOO I went back at 6 months and spoke again to my doc. My periods were back, and again I had tummy upsets with it, meaning that my medication for my Graves was not working either (pooping it out whole) and I was getting sick again. Being concerned about what a hormone would do to my already fragile endocrine system, again we waited. Still on the condoms…

4 months later (10 months since delivery), I had my thyroid removed in emergency surgery, and I started to recover.

1 year. STILL condoms. I ended up going in whilst experiencing the vomiting, diarrhoea and excessive bleeding I had been enduring, and refusing to leave until they agreed on something. 4 hours and 2 pads later, it was agreed that a pill would not be an option, and since the Graves has made my skin thicken in places, a depo may be unreliable. We went with the mirena. BUT I had to wait 5 weeks to get it fitted, because they needed to be sure that my current calcium crisis (brought on by non absorbing my medication due to the severity of my PMS symptoms!!) had resolved! OMFG I had another period and ANOTHER calcium crisis in the mean time! Twats!

I would have LOVED to be given something! Bear in mind this was not only for contraception, it also plays a vital part in my non-reproductive health…