Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Mar
17
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Why Is Natural Birth So Important To You?…”
“Why is natural birth so important to you? Wouldn’t you prefer a healthy baby? Get the drugs and stop suffering.” – OB to a mom who had been laboring for only 6 hours.
There are 27 comments to this post.
To all the MDs out there reading this who asked that this become a dialogue:
Just be supportive. Please? Just say, “Wow, you’re so brave, so dedicated, so strong.”
We know a lot of you don’t understand the choice not to use the meds that are so readily available, and to ‘suffer’ instead. And you’re right, many of us do suffer. But it’s our choice to make, right? So please, if you can’t respect our choice, just accept it.
Would you have appreciated someone telling you, a few years into med school, “Just give it up and become a mechanic. Look how hard this is for you. How you must be suffering! All those long nights and complicated procedures and stressful tests.” How mean and dismissive would that be of your dream? Even if they DO think you’re working too hard. Even if they say it out of love.
Don’t discourage us. If you can’t be supportive, leave the caring to our support system that we chose, and just take care of the physical angle of labor and delivery.
Thank you.
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Jane Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:15 am (Quote)
The problem is, Sheva, that most doctors see the value in becoming a doctor whereas they don’t see the value in a drug-free childbirth. Therefore to them it’s useless suffering, since any problems they cause with their medications can usually be counteracted by other medications and it’s *almost* as good. You can’t tell which adults were born med-free and which weren’t, right? So why not set aside the hard-work part of labor and lie there, epiduralized and pitocined, and let science do the hard work for you?
I made a different choice for my own baby. I’m not getting into that here. But I wanted to point out that these doctors who say things like that may honestly feel a med-free mom is suffering because of some idea that God wants her to suffer, or that she’s been brainwashed, and they want to rush in to “save” her from herself.
I agree it’s a lack of respect. The above comment also shows a lot of manipulation because he sets up the two as opposites (a healthy baby OR a med-free birth) when that’s not true, and that’s a further disrespect not only for the woman’s decision but also for her intelligence. And it’s leveraged against her at a time when she needs to be working with her body, not fighting to defend herself.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:02 pm (Quote)
Your post is so ironic – I have often thought of this when having imaginary conversations in my head with my OB. LMAO (Does anyone else do this or am I nuts??) I think, ‘What if someone told you, ‘You’re a failure as a doctor. You’ll never make it, so don’t even try!’ Most people would say that only makes them want to try harder to succeed.
i often wonder if practitioners often take out their frustrations over their own ‘failed’ or dysfunctional childbirth on their patients.
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laura Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 6:44 pm (Quote)
“I have often thought of this when having imaginary conversations in my head with my OB. LMAO (Does anyone else do this or am I nuts??)”
Um… if you’re nuts, then so am I. And I’m both single and childless…
I have imaginary convos with OBs on behalf of my s-i-l and my friends. I actually go full-on ninja in my imaginary conversations, and kick some smug OB ASS!! 
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Mar 17, 2010 @ 5:02 am (Quote)
Picturing the scene….Mom decides to give in to a dose of Nubain, baby comes out not breathing for a minute or two. “Wow, sure glad you didn’t have a stupid homebirth so I could be here to save your baby.” Yeah, those drugs sure made my baby healthy, doc!
What an ass. And after only *six* hours! WTH?!
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Angela Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:16 pm (Quote)
With my first son, I was in labor for 6 hours and my midwife said “You’ve been in labor for a long time. . . I think we need to consider some options”
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Kat Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:57 pm (Quote)
Sure! There are lots of great options:
Using water for relaxation, shower or tub.
Massaging or using counter-pressure if there is “back labor” going on.
Walking around to allow gravity to help the process along.
Having a snack to keep the momma’s energy up.
Reminding the birth team of how great they’re doing!
Oh… that’s not what you meant? Well, those are the options *I* want to use first, if there’s not a medical emergency requiring medication or emergency surgery. No? Baby looks fine, Mom is doing fine? Well good! BYE!
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the Deranged Housewife Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:03 pm (Quote)
Dear God, most of us are just getting *started* at that point! :O
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Erin Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:49 pm (Quote)
Really. I didn’t even CALL my midwife until I had been in active labor for 10 hours. And that was just to give her a heads up so she could make arrangements for her kids if necessary.
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Mirage Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 12:02 am (Quote)
Ugh no kidding! With my daughter I departed from my house to go to the birthing center after like 20 hours of labor at home. (Total labor was 24 hours.) With my son I left for the birthing center (an hours drive away) after about 8 or 9 hours of labor. (Total labor 12 hours.)
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I would respond, “Weren’t you the one who told me not to use any pain killers besides acetaminophen during my pregnancy? Well, apparently I’m still pregnant until this baby comes out! Just following doctor’s orders.” 
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*ahem* I believe this is an appropriate time for a little Princess Bride.
“Life -is- pain, [Doctor]. Anyone that says differently is selling something.”
Millennium after millennium of women “suffering” through labor brought us to where we are today as a species. Not that pregnancy, labor, and birth have ever been 100% safe and guaranteed (what in life is? even love isn’t!) but it’s gotta have some purpose for being how it is, don’t you think?
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First of all, one thing that most people in the hospital side of birthing dont seem to realize is, anything momma takes drug wise, the baby also gets. A lot of people go about the pain medication thing really lightly, and honestly it freaks me out. When u think about it you cant even take ibuprofen when you’re pregnant without everyone flipping out, yet 6 hours before u push the baby out u load up on narcotics. Am i missing something… And with epidurals they don’t really ever go over the risks with you anyways. I have heard a few doctors say the ‘you cant tell between an adult who was born naturally and one who wasnt.’ Turns out you kindof can, babies who are born naturally have a lower incidence of drug abuse later on in life, not to mention that babies born without pain medication tend to breastfeed more successfully and for longer periods of time later in life. Im out.
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umm, just ask a momma who has delivered both medicated and non-medicated. She will tell you how much better she felt (physically) after doing it all-natural!! She looks better, feels like a WOMAN and hasn’t been robbed of that natural ‘high’ of having accomplished something that seems almost impossible! Baby is alert and nursing good, too!
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Am I the only one getting a picture of a back-alley drug dealer begging you to take his drugs? Ugh, what reason do they have to be pushing pain meds so hard?!
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Sheva Reply:
March 20th, 2010 at 9:05 pm (Quote)
No, you’re not the only one.
It is creepy though, and I always feel like they pushed the drugs on me because I was asking for help and support, and it was annoying them (because they didn’t know how??) so they kept pushing so I’d shut up and leave them alone.
Then there’s the theory that the docs get a kickback from the drug companies.
Any MDs out there – why DO so many docs and nurses push pain ‘relief’ on us?
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You missed a wonderful opportunity to teach. Your feelings and research may have had an impact on how he practiced in the future.
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Mirage Reply:
April 20th, 2010 at 5:25 pm (Quote)
Of all the times in life when a person should NOT be bullied, harassed, pressured, manipulated, discouraged, or required to give a natural birth seminar, during her labor and birth would be IT. Having to find a way to re-defend (or re-re-re-defend…? How many times has she told him already?) her position to a doctor who obviously won’t take “no drugs” for an answer is simply ridiculous. Never mind being asked to do it in a clear, well-stated, polite, non-off-putting way so that Dr. Bullhead might actually hear a word she says from up on his high-horse. If he wanted to hear her, he would have already.
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You’re right. You shouldn’t be bullied, harassed, maanipulated or have to re-define at every visit what natural childbirth is. It’s a cultural change that’s been occuring over the last 20 years. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been promoted in most medical schools till the last 5 years. I apologize if I offended you with my comments. It was unintentional. As women that know our bodies, needs and expectations we’re the leaders in this change for the success of women following us. It’s not easy and it will take time. Some people hear but don’t really listen and I think he was one of them. If there is a next time just say ” It’s evidenced based practice, I’m surprised you’re not aware”.
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Woah, holy false dichotomies, Batman!
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