Comments on: “You Are So Lucky You Get To Sleep.”

By: Jade

Jade — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 12:51:09 +0000

I went back to work when my children were 4 weeks and 36 hours old respectively.

By: Jespren

Jespren — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:09:39 +0000

My first spent 32 days in the NICU and, regardless of having to pump every 3 hours, I didn’t sleep well a single night he was in there. I spent most of the nights (got sick and couldn’t be there for a few days) there with him, either by his crib or in a room within hearing distance of his cries, and I still couldn’t sleep well. First decent sleep I got was when we took him home!

By: Kat

Kat — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:42:30 +0000

That would be ideal… but lots of places only allow for 6 weeks of maternity leave, if you want to keep your job.

She may have wanted to stay home, but couldn’t for any number of reasons. Regardless of her personal situation, her remark was rude and uncalled for.

By: WellBegun

WellBegun — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:35:11 +0000

On another note, does anybody else wonder wth the NICU nurse was doing at work?!? Even if it was an adoption, she should be home with that baby! Just sayin’…

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:03:26 +0000

Hopefully, it was in your best interest in order to get some needed rest. Still, “taking advantage” of any such situation is the greatest oxymoron.

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:31:23 +0000

Reminds me of my favorite prayer: “Dear Jesus, keep your arm over my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.” Yes, I’ve prayed that. Yes, it worked better when I shut up than if I’d said anything else at that point.

By: Heather P

Heather P — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:29:18 +0000

Yep. If you don’t know what to say, say that you don’t know what to say. Much better than trying to cheer someone up with stupid comments.

Such as when I lost my baby at 13 weeks. “At least you’re not throwing up anymore” Ugh.

By: Heather P

Heather P — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:26:09 +0000

Yes, thank you. Someone going through a stressful situation does not need to be “cheered up” by being told what they’re missing.

By: Kat

Kat — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:24:09 +0000

It’s actually really really simple:

When someone is grieving a death, and you don’t know what to say:

“I am so sorry for your loss.”
or even
“I just don’t know what to say, but I am thinking of you.”
Ten thousand million times better than ANY sentence beginning with “At least…”
In my experience, there is no sentence beginning with those two words that is not going to end badly.

For someone who is sick/has a sick family member:
“How can I help?”
“I am thinking of you/praying for you” (depending on the family’s religious preferences, some non-religious families welcome prayers from friends, some prefer you to use more religion-neutral language).

Those actually cover just about any sad situation you could encounter.

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut, give them a hug, and just be quiet with them, or listen.

Listening > talking.

By: Kat

Kat — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:15:54 +0000

I think that one was Abraham Lincoln, wasn’t it?

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

In any case, it’s very useful advice!