I really hope he meant to say “It wouldn’t have hurt when I butchered you” and not “I felt compelled to punish you by mutilating your gentials because you think independent thoughts.”

Wow….that just sounds like something an abusive person would say to their victim…

This is literally, LEGALLY abusive. It’s assault. This doctor needs to be reported to proper medical and legal authorities. From the implied self-education of the mother, I can’t imagine there was consent to this. Even if there was, not to that degree. His words alone convey malicious intent or at the very least complete negligence for the welfare of his patient.

OP, I am so sorry for you. I hope you recover(ed) from this barbarous act physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

While I am generally appalled at the absurdities that I see reported here, this definitely takes the cake. This is beyond ignorance – this is malicious and abusive. I seriously wanna know who this OB is, and I don’t care if he/she’s all the way across the country. I’m so mad right now I can’t think straight!!!!!!!!!!
I hope that this woman is able to move beyond the abuse that this OB heaped upon her – I would personally either need counseling, or a jail cell.

Please consider reporting and charging this doctor.

Even if she HAD obeyed him and had the epidural, the 3rd degree episiotomy would have hurt. Maybe not at the moment, but later!!
That is horrible, what he did.
What was his reason for the episiotomy? His medical reason?
Please report him! The birth survey at the top of this website is one way, and write a letter with the whole story, to the Board of Directors of the hospital, the head of obstetrics, and, if applicable, the head of his obstetrical practice. Also, very important, send the same letter to the Joint Commission (www.jointcommission.org, click on ‘report a complaint’ ont he bottom left of the page).
Some things are just mean or rude. This one is abusive and assault.
I hope you heal, in all ways.

And what, exactly, was the patient “told” to do? God only knows…

I agree. I would report this son of a bitch to the state medical board. At the very least, take the Birth Survey and get the word out about this creep at every opportunity you can. (((Hugs to you! )))

This post warrants a “trigger alert.” These words are too common in child and domestic abuse and can bring up painful emotions for many. I hope this doctor was reported for the physical and mental abuse he/she caused.

OP, I hope you will seriously consider filing charges against this doctor. Those words reveal a very dark side to this person. If you have any doubts and think maybe it was just you, please read this article. 103 children before a 2 year old spoke up and led to this momster’s arrest. http://m.washingtontimes.com//news/2010/feb/23/del-doctor-indicted-serial-child-abuse-scandal/

In addition to be horrifying and abusive, I wonder what refusing an epidural had to do with cutting a 3rd degree episiotomy.

OMG. I just have to agree with everyone else–abuser alert!

*gasp* This brought tears to my eyes. Report him! That dr is reserving himself a spot in hell.

I agree with everyone else–classic words of an abuser. I am so sorry this happened to the mom. I hope she is doing well after this.

Please go to http://www.ratemds.com and http://www.thebirthsurvey.com. Other women need to be warned about this doctor.

My midwife was pulled by the OB for my first birth.

Before the OB forced me into having a “light” epidural that stopped my labor (she wrote in the records she’d had the anesthesiologist provide a “bolus” dose – not the light one I’d agreed to under duress), she had written in my records that IF I had had a vaginal delivery – she planned on intentionally cutting a FOURTH degree episiotomy. It is right there in my hospital record. This OB has since lost her license for abusing patients, after 15 years in the business.

Intentionally cutting someone non-necessarily is abuse and is against the law. The episiotomy rate might be justified at 4 or 5 %, but I think that actual rates top 60%.

This makes me sick. It drives me nuts how obsessed some medical professionals have gotten with “control”. It’s even trickling down to other “professionals”. Just yesterday, after I read this, my sister was in the ER with a broken tailbone. The radiology tech came to get her from her room. She asked my sister (who was in severe pain and is obese) to walk a good 200 ft to the xray room. When she said she was in pain, the tech said, “It’s not far. You can walk.” When my sister informed her that her hospital gown didn’t cover her rear end, the tech responded, “No one will notice.” When my sister refused, the very frustrated tech threw a sheet around my sister and still made her walk to radiology. My sister filed a complaint with the patient advocate. I know it’s apples to oranges to this comment, but it just shows something has to change about the way the medical world views their patients!

What does refusing an epidural have to do with having to get an episiotomy?

Cutting an “intentional 3rd degree” is criminal. I’ve never seen one done, even with the hardest deliveries. Performing an episiotomy results in a 2nd degree (granted, it may tear further). Punishing someone in this manner could also be considered torture.
This same scenario happens everyday in domestic abuse. “You made me hurt you” is classic.

Hmm. Next time, give birth at home with a midwife. That’ll solve the problem…

What an abusive jerk. I shudder to think how that doctor treats his wife/partner.

It reminds me of how I was punished for “forcing” my OB to attend the short-notice VBAC of my premature daughter (I didn’t know I was in labour, or I would have just stayed home; I thought the gut cramps from the gastroenteritis that I’d contracted were merely reaching a dangerous level and wanted somebody to look at me and make sure the baby was OK, and I was actually offended when the ambulance crew took me directly to the maternity ward – turns out I was just coming out of transition). After yelling at me for “making” him do something he had no intention of taking part in (thanks, I always knew you’d planned a repeat C) he had my daughter whisked away out of my arms. I wasn’t allowed to touch her or hold her or anything because she was too medically fragile – respiratory distress syndrome, which was “my fault” because I gave birth eight weeks early, probably due to drinking or drugs because after all, I was a Medicaid patient at the time – and I was “too dirty and germy,” a “danger to my baby.”

She was kept in a plastic box at the nurses station for a few hours until it was convenient for an ambulance to transport her to a hospital with a Level III NICU. I was not offered a bed in the same hospital, although I *was* kicked out of my hospital bed the next morning after about twelve hours total time spent in the hospital, still with gut cramps and diarrhoea. At least they let my husband call his parents to arrange a ride because we didn’t have enough bus fare to get home.

She got a septic workup without my consent. Also formula added to the colostrum and preemie milk I pumped, to make it “more nutritious.”

And we got a visit from Children’s Protective Services soon after she finally came home with us a few weeks later – the social worker and “certain staff” were concerned that I lacked the skills and inclination to care for a medically fragile infant.

There are many ways to punish a “patient” for non-cooperation. I tried complaining to the state medical board. My case was not considered worth serious consideration. The medical board takes care of its own.

My next baby after that was born at home, and barring a genuine emergency, so will the child we’re expecting in August. I learn from experience.

Would you believe the OB I’d been seeing was an osteopath, not an MD, and had been described as a “wannabe hippie” (grew up in California and everything) who would let his “patients” stand on their heads if they wanted to give birth that way? A DO! Usually they don’t act like, well, jerks. Maybe it was just a personality conflict. You know, the kind that occurs when a poor charity patient turns out to have brains, a master’s degree from Oxford, a lot of willpower, and a birth library with Henci Goer and Ina May Gaskin on the top shelf?