Jan 252010
“I will let you have a doula, if I can choose who your doula is.” -OB to mother discussing having her doula at her birth during a 20 week prenatal appointment.
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 January 25, 2010  Doula, OB, prenatal  Add comments

  18 Responses to “"I'll Let You Have A Doula, If I Can Choose Who Your Doula Is."”

  1. Excuse me, you’ll LET me have a Doula?! No no, I get to choose whomever I have at my side coaching and advocating for me, my baby and my husband and our rights or I won’t be LETTING you be my Doctor. *smirk*

  2. Is he kidding?
    Because that’s just NUTS!
    Although I did watch a news thing about birth and doulas, and a head of obstetrics was saying how she (SHE!!) doesn’t allow (?!) doulas in her hospital because they put the mother at risk by confusing her with conflicting information. Conflicting with the doc, that is.
    Stay home! Stay home!!

    • Is this where birthing is headed? Hospitals put the fear of God into them, slice open the nonbelievers and change the rules so they are FORCED to birth subsequent births at hospitals and now eliminate the one voice of hope that Mothers have to birthing as they feel comfortable?

      How fair is this?

      $W#@#%& Sorry that just boggles my mind

  3. Eeek! I’d be running screaming from that OB.

  4. “Oh, she’s not my doula. She’s my husband.” :-D “And….er….he’s the baby’s father.”

  5. *eyeroll* Micromanaging long-eared male equine. I shall now call them LEMEs.

    Well, at least if this is at 20 weeks, I hope this momma had/has LOTS of time to find a new provider.

  6. There are some docs who prefer some doulas to work with because they know and respect them, just as there are some docs we prefer to work with because we know and respect them. (I know there are some wonderful OBs out there with whom I’ve had a mutual referring society…) But wow, if you would prefer a mom to work with a doula you know, it would be better to say something like, “that’s great, I love working with doulas! Here are a couple of doulas that I know are excellent – you might want to check them out!” And hey, sometimes you wind up working with a stranger who’s awesome. The way the doctor said this, they sound like (and, well, may be) a control freak. Boo.

  7. “Let”? Who’s employing who again?

    • THANK YOU!! This is what I try to impress upon all my clients. “You are employing ME and you are employing YOUR DOCTOR (or midwife)” OB provide a service and if you don’t like the service, you have a right to take your business somewhere else!!

  8. This one just made me laugh.

    To all of you OB’s out there who think this is an acceptable statement: thank you for pushing birth back into the home, where it belongs.

  9. I don’t know about anyone else, but this comment really frightens me. It’s like something straight out of a George Orwell novel or something. Totally micromanaged, as if you have no will, no choice and are just there to plop out a baby. The more people go along with the ‘status quo’ the more we’ll be hearing stories like this! :O

  10. This is my submission and yes, I was out of there SO FAST! I switched doctors to one who was definitely “natural childbirth” friendly and he was much more nurturing and encouraging. My baby boy was delivered after a 32 hour labor, totally un-medicated with no intervention and no episiotomy.

  11. Aghhhh….I encounter similar issues over here in NZ – only it’s the Midwives not the Ob’s so much. There is a clear lack of education in NZ about the roles of a Doula and most midwives think that we are there to do THEIR job – um, no. Hence I find it very difficult to find a Midwife that I get along with.

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