Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
21
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Thoughtful Thursdays! “Sometimes Its Like A Key In A Lock…”
“Sometimes its like a key in a lock. If the key isn’t turned just right, it simply won’t fit” – home birth midwife after mother transferred to the hospital and had a cesarean, after laboring 48+ hours, being fully dilated for 24+ hours, pushing in several positions for 6+ hours and being unable to move an OP/asynclitic baby. This statement acknowledged that this baby, this time, truly didn’t fit through her pelvis but did not make her body sound “broken” or “too small.”
There are 11 comments to this post.
I really like this one. As much as we homebirth advocates trust birth and try to do everything we can so that a woman can achieve her desired outcome, we really need to also be realistic that its not always possible, and thats OK! C-sections aren’t always evil; when used sparingly and in the right situations, they are indeed the best option.
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This was mine 
Such an amazingly patient midwife, she was with me 24+ hours before transferring, then several more hours in the hospital! And I’d love to add that I have since had an HBAC with an anterior, 10lb 2oz baby.. a pound and a quarter heavier, 1/4inch bigger head circumference than my first c-section baby. Different midwife though since I moved.
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Huh?! Sounds like another home birth midwife who lucked out-to me.(48 hr. labor 24 hr. at 10 cm and 6 hrs. pushing) We cheer because it turned out okay but if something horrible had happened we would villify the provider for making a mother sound like a piece of hardware at Home Depot.
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Rachel Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 4:50 pm (Quote)
Some of that pushing was after we transferred to the hospital. My daughter was never in distress. Heck even once in the hospital, on my back, pit and epi, my hospital records say no less than 3 times that heart tones remained reassuring. Since she was doing well we stayed home until we’d exhausted everything we could try. My mw was patient, tried a LOT of things to help get my dd out at home, and because of that I know I really did everything I could and had a fair shot! She doesn’t deserve criticism for that. Had she suggested an earlier transfer, I might be writing here about a horrible midwife who put arbitrary limitations on labor that caused me to have a c-section. Having had a fair chance is VERY important to me.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 5:27 pm (Quote)
I think the difference is that the midwife was not saying this to convince mom she couldn’t do it and should give up and get the c-section, but to encourage her that just because it didn’t work out this time doesn’t mean she’s *broken* or *incapable* of birthing a baby. Intent means a lot.
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I think its a kind explanation. As someone who went through four hours of pushing which did not result in a vaginal birth (also due to malpositioning), i appreciated these sort of comments from my CNM and OB. They didn’t put it quite so eloquently, but it helped me feel like it was more matter of fate instead of my body not working right.
Indeed the key did fit through the lock the next time, but I kind of had to ram it through, lol. Ohhh posterior babies are so difficult!
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That’s very, very well put. (Where’s the like button?) Yes, sometimes, despite everything that can be done, the key just doesn’t fit in the lock *this time*.
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