Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
18
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“If I Can’t See What Is Going On In There…”
“If I can’t see what is going on in there, I don’t know how to help you. If I don’t know how to help you, the baby can’t find its way out and you might as well go home.” – CNM on why she needed internal fetal monitoring on mom at check-in to the hospital.
There are 28 comments to this post.
Didn’t you know that before the advent of internal fetal monitoring, thousands of many babies just got lost on their way out of their mothers’s uteri?!
That little screw that goes on top of the baby’s head is like a spelunking tool, showing the baby the way out of the cave!
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Because it’s not really an internal fetal monitor, you see. It’s actually a tiny sign reading ‘EXIT,’ and they then attach a tiny magnet to the baby’s head, and the doctor sets up a big U-magnet between the mom’s legs and pulllllllls the baby out with magnetic attraction.
It’s a lot easier than those barbaric times when a baby would occasionally climb out through mom’s belly button or wriggle out through her ear.
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What bothers me about comments like these is how the practitioner speaks to the patient like a child. They explain things like some people would to a non-compliant 3 year old. It is patronizing and silly to think that you can speak to someone that way knowing what you are saying is not true and really expect them to do what you say.
This is actually one reason why I left working in the medical field. I hated the superiority complex that practitioners had towards their patients. When I was working in a clinic the mentality was that patients were subhuman. They were almost always “faking it” and the ones who weren’t were to stupid to fully explain things to. Just give ‘em a drug and get them outta here!
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My firstborn had a scalp monitor on him. The scab took weeks to fully heal.
None of my other babies had one, I guess I should thank my lucky stars they didn’t burst, alien-style, out of my belly but instead managed to “find their way out” the usual way.
And because it needs to be said at some point: Any “midwife” who is so abysmally ignorant about birth that she cannot “help” at a birth without attaching wires and tubes to every orifice of the laboring woman is no midwife at all. She is a midwife in name only, and does not belong within ten feet of any laboring woman.
Machines that go “ping” on the other hand can be her best friends, since she needs them so desperately.
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To be fair, I hear that it’s only the male babies who have trouble finding their way out…
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Sheva Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 11:43 am (Quote)
LOL! Thanks for the laugh, I needed that!
I suppose it’s because they refuse to ask for directions?
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Jenneology had this to say,
Jan 18, 2010 @ 11:04 am (Quote)
Evidently, someone hasn’t heard of or has forgotten The Midwifery Model of Care!
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atyourcervix had this to say,
Jan 18, 2010 @ 3:09 pm (Quote)
The only times that internal monitors should be used: when continuous monitoring is required & there is difficulty in maintaining a continuous external tracing (pitocin induction, post epidural placement, high risk pregnancy indications). When internal monitors are easier for the staff: when mom is very “fluffy” and the nurse can’t get a continuous tracing, when contractions are not picking up well on the toco, when mom is “moving too much” to pick up a continuous tracing, when it’s more convenient for the nurse/midwife/doctor, because the technology is there…..or for no real reason at all.
Yep, I’ve seen it done for no reason at all.
I only advocate for internal monitoring if there is a concern about the FHR tracing (deep decels, prolonged decels) and I am unable to keep the FHR on continuously with the external monitor, like when mom is on pitocin.
Yeah, it is annoying to keep adjusting an external monitor, but that’s also part of my JOB!
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atyourcervix Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 3:11 pm (Quote)
I didn’t mean that it should be used for staff convenience. I think that came out wrong. It should only be used for valid, medical reasons. NOT as a matter of routine. The scalp electrode leaves a nasty scratch on the baby’s head. Also, anything internally placed leaves mom and baby open to an intrauterine infection.
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Jane Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 3:45 pm (Quote)
I always wondered about that. After membranes rupture, it’s SOOOOO DANGEROUS if you wait more than 24 hours, and they warn you not to take a bath because bacteria might get in there. So then they stick their fingers in you and stick a wire up into the uterus which makes a perfect entryway for bacteria.
Ahhhhh…? So monitors and nurses can’t cause infection, but walking around in your own home can?
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Aside from the abysmal ignorance of this comment and the condescending manner in which it was spoken, what irks me most about this scenario is that IFM was “required” upon ADMISSION. I have never heard of this! Frankly, if they are going to slap the invasive procedures on you literally the minute you walk in the door, I can’t imagine the rest of the birth going much better!
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“Umm, okay! I’ll go home then!” LOL
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susan Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 4:40 am susan(Quote)
That was my thought as well!
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Molly Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 4:46 am Molly(Quote)
And on the way home, find a COMPETENT midwife who is actually familiar with how birth works!
The baby wont find its way out? Gimme a break!
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Jane Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 6:10 am Jane(Quote)
CNM: ” If I don’t know how to help you, the baby can’t find its way out and you might as well go home.”
Patient: “Okay! I wasn’t really ready to have the baby anyhow. Just put that in writing and telephone the doctor to let him know the baby won’t be here for another few weeks until I get the room painted and the crib set up. But make sure to write that down, that the baby won’t know which way to come out.”
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