Jan 1

“…Do You Want This Baby To Come Out?”

“Do you want to have this baby? Do you want this baby to come out??” – midwife to mother, when midwife thought the mother was “resisting” the birth by not following the orders to be calm and quiet during transition.

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There are 11 comments to this post.

Rachel had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 5:56 am (Quote)

The only women calm and quiet during TRANSITION(!!!) have epidurals.

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Kathy Reply:
January 1st, 2010 at 3:01 pm Kathy(Quote)

That’s a tiny bit of an overstatement — I was very calm and quiet during transition of my first labor (a homebirth) — so quiet, in fact, that my midwife thought that my labor had stopped, and just suggested some herbals to speed my labor up… when I started spontaneously pushing.

Yes, *most* women having a natural labor will not be quiet at all, but some will.

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Hallie had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 6:13 am (Quote)

oh yes, cause mothers are always quiet during labor…

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Kathy had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 6:39 am (Quote)

There are or at least can be mental or emotional issues that hamper birth — Ina May Gaskin tells at least one such story in her “Guide to Birth”: a woman was told her birth mother died in childbirth, so she was fearing the same thing would happen to her, and wouldn’t open up and release and surrender to labor, until she was able to talk about that fear and work through it. I’ve heard of other similar cases; and I think I also was resisting labor during my second birth, but I was waiting for my husband to get home (which ultimately didn’t work — he missed the birth).

However, many women will *not* be “calm and quiet” during transition, yet are most certainly *not* “resisting” birth in the process! And putting it like this is certainly not helpful, if the midwife actually thought that there was a problem the mom needed to work through! It sounds harsh and abrasive, unnecessarily rough. Far better to take orders from the mother and ask *her* what she thinks she needs, than in ordering the laboring woman to be calm and quiet!

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Molly had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 7:58 am (Quote)

“Calm and quiet during transition”? Is this the midwifes first birth? Transition is often described as the most difficult part of the birth experience. It was the only time during my sons birth that I started to freak out, and I nearly had a panic attack.

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Courtney had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 10:08 am (Quote)

With my first my husband said transition sounded like some sort of low primal scream from me during each contraction and my midwife had no issue. She did however tell me if I could make noise while pushing I wasn’t pushing with 100% effectiveness. With my second transition was very quiet. I do not think this was the correct way for the midwife to get her point across.

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Jane Reply:
January 1st, 2010 at 6:23 pm Jane(Quote)

During my third birth, when I felt the urge to push, I gave one mighty push and screamed “GET OUT OF THERE!” and out popped the baby.

If your midwife is correct about noise/not pushing effectively, then I guess my baby could have reached escape velocity and rocketed into space! LOL!

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Kat Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 7:46 am Kat(Quote)

Hmm, that’s an interesting theory your midwife has.

I wonder if there’s any evidence to support it though. I tend to growl/grunt like an olympic weightlifter during pushing, when I am left alone to push as my body prefers. I seem to push effectively enough to get the job done!

Pushing in complete silence is what you get when doing “purple pushing” holding your breath and depriving yourself of oxygen. It’s not healthy.

Also, pushing “with 100% effectiveness” would make the baby come out faster, one would assume. Sometimes going slowly to allow the tissues time to stretch would be preferable.

During my 4th birth, while I did not feel any kind of “burning” or anything that I recall, my body stopped pushing during the contraction before my son’s head was born. I felt myself panting through the contraction, without anyone telling me to, or consciously deciding to. I had no tearing or damage. If I had been commanded to push to “100% effectiveness” instead of following my body’s cues, I might have torn.

I would think a midwife would be more receptive/familiar with that concept. I am sure your midwife is a great person, but maybe she needs to re-examine her beliefs about pushing, and why she thinks that way. Is it based on evidence, and is it in the complete best interest of the mothers she attends to instruct them this way?

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Courtney Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 9:43 am Courtney(Quote)

I have to add here that I pushed that child out with no purple pushing or coached pushing or tearing. I think it was just her way of telling me I needed to concentrate on the pushing part more which I then did. She allowed me to wait for 2 contractions just as his head was crowning. I also found out later that his heart rate was dropping and not coming all the way back up with every push and she was concerned and it turned out his cord was wrapped 3 times. She told me that if she hadn’t thought I could have him out in less then 60 minutes she would have been recommending a c-section. She did think I could and it was actually about 30 minutes for him.

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Cheeks had this to say, Jan 1, 2010 @ 10:21 am (Quote)

I think if there was more to the midwifes statement then it would make more sense. Simply asking if you want the baby out is not enough. Expressing to the Mother that resisting transition (not the noises) can hamper and make the experience more painful would have been a more helpful comment.

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