Comments on: “It Might Be A Miscarriage, But What Do You Care…”

By: Wren's Mama

Wren's Mama — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:16:20 +0000

Wow. And when I went to get birth control after having my daughter, they wouldnt give me the kind I wanted. I was breastfeeding, so I couldnt take the regular pills, the mini doesnt work for me, I have severe period cramps (as in labor/transition/pushing/ringoffire/delivery has nothing on them) and cant have the copper IUD, so I requested the plastic one…no go.

That was horrible for the ob to say, a miscarriage is tramatic to most EVERYONE who has one. One of my best friends had 5 before concieving her beautiful, now 4 year old daughter.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 06:55:48 +0000

All I could think was, “What a monster.” Also a mom of lost babies here. The insensitivity to miscarriage from doctors is inhuman.

By: Summer

Summer — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:44:55 +0000

Not every place that offers birth services also offers abortion services, there was no mention of this being such a place, and there are plenty of pro-life doctors who speak and act like complete assholes towards women. Often because they see pregnant women as only brood mares with no humanity. (Not all pro-life people are against birth control, and birth control is not always given just to prevent birth. I’m assuming the BC here was given to regulate hormone levels back to normal.)

By: Paula Runyan

Paula Runyan — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:15:12 +0000

I feel its quite clear.
Birth and termination services are offered int eh smae building usually.
How can we expect a compassionate attitude over a loss, when these people are trained to see pregnancy as a medical condition, that can be terminated at will?

As long as the training for both birth and termination are offered in the same institution, we will continue to see callous attitudes along these same lines.

By: Kat

Kat — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 02:49:01 +0000

VERY well said Michelle! Thank you for being able to see past the “issues” to the deeper pain and hurt. We could all stand to take steps back and try to see through others’ eyes. The more sensitive the subject the harder that can be!

By: Michelle Potter

Michelle Potter — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 02:38:05 +0000

I’m trying to figure out what to say here, because this is a sticky subject. If Paula is pro-life (I’m guessing she is), and has had multiple miscarriages, it sounds like she might be feeling hurt over the idea of someone aborting their baby when she wants so badly to have one and has had these terrible losses. She sounds like she may be feeling that someone who performs abortions may see a miscarriage as not a big deal, because after all, they have intentionally ended pregnancies at that same age and this was just nature taking its course. (I have heard people actually take this attitude. Some people believe that a baby is not worth anything until it is born, REGARDLESS OF THE MOTHER’S FEELINGS, which leads them to be cruel to mothers who have miscarried wanted babies.)

This is such a hard issue, which can involve hurt feelings on both sides. I hope we can all try to be sensitive both to Paula, who has clearly experienced much pain over her miscarriages, and to the mom who submitted this quote by not getting into a fight over abortion, but instead focusing on the rude comment by the jerk of an OB.

By: Heather P

Heather P — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:37:32 +0000

I can’t believe how awful some of these are, but this one takes the cake. What an incredibly inhumane thing to say to anyone experiencing a loss.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:22:44 +0000

Where exactly was anything having to do with abortion said in the above post? I’m a little lost. All I see is some inconsiderate douchbag, two actually.

By: Jane

Jane — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 20:43:31 +0000

Someone should tell them that just because they offer family planning services doesn’t give them the privilege off planning our families.

By: Knitted in the Womb

Knitted in the Womb — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:17:03 +0000

I have a friend who is 40, and about 2 months ago discovered she was pregnant with her 5th child–a WANTED child. From the moment she went to the OB, staff were telling her about how it was pretty much guarunteed that she would miscarry, and she really shouldn’t have tried getting pregnant. She got to where she was having nightmares about it.

Then she did miscarry, and she wonders if all the stress was what did it.

Same practice…another person I know recently got pregnant unexpectedly. She has 5 children, with two previous cesareans. She was days away from her husband getting a V when she found out she was pregnant. Despite all this, she is happy to be pregnant. After her most recent birth, the OB tried to convince her to get a tubal. So this time around, she goes in, and they say to her “we told you that you should get a tubal!” How sweet.