Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
15
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“We Call The OB When You Are Dilated to 8 cm.”
“We call the OB when you are dilated to 8cm.” -L&D Nurse to mother who begged for the OB to be called. At last check mother was 4cm. Baby was born soon after on the unprepared bed with the nurses in the room not looking. The nurses then argued over the time of birth. The OB arrived six minutes later.
There are 34 comments to this post.
Knitted in the Womb had this to say,
Dec 15, 2009 @ 8:11 pm (Quote)
Unfortunately, most women don’t realize that this is standard practice.
In my second birth, I demanded that my OB be called when I was “only” 6 cm because I didn’t like the resident. Fortunately the nurse did not argue with me. My OB arrived about an hour after I was 6, and the next time I was checked (2 hours after I had been 6) was barely 10 minutes before my daughter was born.
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grandleymom Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 9:45 pm (Quote)
Definantly common practice. I’ve called the doc earlier and said “I have a gut feeling she won’t take long” and hear “she has an epidural, call me when she’s ten”. Not all are like this, some do come when the nurses say but there are those who won’t come when we ask, but I will pester them ;0
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Jennifer A. had this to say,
Dec 15, 2009 @ 10:01 pm (Quote)
I have to agree with Jennifer. Clearly she didn’t need, or receive, the assistance of the doctors or nurses, so why pay them!?
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:01 pm (Quote)
The point is that she WANTED that assistance. Even if she doesn’t want it next time, even if she only wanted what she *thought* they offered (based on their own claims and the general societal belief that birthing women NEED doctors), at the time of that birth she WANTED (and, notably WAS PAYING FOR) the assistance of a doctor, nurses, and a hospital, and she should have had it. Saying after the fact that she should know better next time diminishes her rightly felt anger at being sold a package of goods that didn’t deliver. (No pun intended.)
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I have to say that the magic bullet of the OB’s presence seems to be utterly redundant the vast majority of the time. But of course, empowering mothers (or fathers) would do the docs out of their hefty fee for doing, 99% of the time, what an empowered mom or dad could do without assistance (and with a great deal of joy!) But then, I’d stay the heck away from the hospital in the first place–I thought they were for sick people!
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Guggie Daly had this to say,
Dec 15, 2009 @ 11:18 pm (Quote)
I agree with Jennifer. Sounds like her body works just fine. Stay at home, stay comfy. Avoid the hospital germs and jerks. And save money lol.
It sure would suck to see the bill for that.
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This was my #4 birth story.
Truly, I can see the point about homebirth, but I personally have had all six of my kids in the hospital. I am not comfortable for myself at home. This baby did end up sucking mech down into the lungs and they did take her for observation. Probably if in my state homebirth was more common or I had a midwife/doc who “got it” and was there to make the birth more gentle she wouldn’t have been in any danger whatsoever. It was “old mec” from what I was told, not sure if it’s more or less dangerous…because mec usually is no big deal. I’ve actually had mec every time and it’s only been a problem this once. I think it was the bouncing on the bed that caused her to suck it in. She’s fine though…happy 6 year old.
It is common for me to go in and have the baby in less than 2 hours with only one or two pushes. Why do I not homebirth? Thought about it with my first, but the lure of the NICU right there if a problem (true problem) arises is strong for me. I know death is a normal part of the process, and still rare with home birth, but I like knowing if anything happens I do have that safety. I just usually wait as long as possible. The hospital I go to has rooming in, supports breast feeding, and generally had not bothered me after baby’s born. I was not hassled at all for signing papers to avoid the routine after care they give, they really supported my choice as mom. I also have a big family, and the only time in my life I will really have time alone with baby is in the hospital. It’s weird, but I like recovery there for a few days and then enjoy homecoming. If I had a birth center with midwives, and could afford it, I’d do it. My insurance has been covereing hospital birth, and so that’s what I do.
I know many will scoff or cringe, but I still find positives in the hospital. If there were more available options, I might do it differently, but in my area, there’s just not that option for the risks involved in my opinion (for my family). I am not comfortable at home, I’m a bit of a packrat etc, and don’t really feel comfortable with guests much less a midwife etc. Hubby’s not comfortable with us having a baby at home either (unless it happens before we choose to leave).
So yes, I could save money by having a baby at home if I have an unatteded birth. I can pay a midwife but we actually are on such a tight budget it would be very difficult (like loose the mortgage difficult…it’s that tight). Paying a copay and having a baby in the hospital is the option…
I no longer worry though if the doc is not there in time. This was the first of three born without the doc in the room. Last birth (6th) I had a positive screen for trisomy 18 but didn’t do amnio. I didn’t know if baby would have it or not, and she didn’t have it but I wanted to be near NICU in case I needed it. Baby #7 will be born in the hospital too, but I will fire a bad nurse as fast as possible, and am thinking of using the midwife in our group rather than a doc. Meeting the midwife soon!
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Kat Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 6:25 am (Quote)
Dawn, it is awesome you have a hospital that is supportive of your choices as a parent! While I think homebirth IS a great option for those who want it, I think ALL choices of birth place should be supported. The reason hospital birth is so far from ideal now, is because most people don’t question, don’t hold the doctors and nurses accountable for how they treat people. It’s not RIGHT that someone who is high risk should have to worry about getting dismal quality of care, or fighting nurses about her right to breastfeed her healthy child.
I hope your pregnancy is a joyous time and free of complications, and that your new baby is healthy and happy too!
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And why can’t women birth in the hospital and still go natural, still expect care? We don’t demand enough in my opinion. Most women will birth in a hospital room. Even with the reading and education I have, I still go there. Why must I be at home? I think there should be a better system for those of us who are not ready to take the home leap. Personally, I’ve been reading nurse blogs and find the “free standing birth center” with it’s own surgical room available, with NICU style equipment or right across the street from a hospital appealing. My children have had outpatient surgery for tonsils and for eyes…why can’t there be outpatient centers for birth with midwives, doulas, and a back up OB or two on staff? Why can’t they have the meds available right there but not out in the open and have it understood if you want to be on monitors the whole birth, you could go to the hospital, but if you want a chance for both medical people on site AND natural birth, you could go to the low intervention center?
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Erin Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am (Quote)
I agree. Homebirth just isn’t for everybody. As women, our choices shouldn’t be limited to either have a homebirth or go to the hospital and be treated disrespectfully by doctors and nurses who refuse to use evidence-based practices.
Our choices shouldn’t be limited to UBAC (or U-twins) or scheduled c-section.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:31 pm (Quote)
I am right with you, Dawn. Four of my five biological children were born in the hospital, and so were both of my step-children. I, personally, would prefer unassisted homebirth, but it’s not a practical option for me. My history includes one unnecessary c-section that forever after seriously limited my choices, one scary-but-empowering homebirth that ended up further limiting my choices, and one actually medically necessary c-section that made me glad to be in the hospital.
Also, like you, I really enjoy the couple of days of peace and quiet in the hospital with my new baby. I have a big family, including FOUR BOYS, AND I homeschool so they are all here all day. (But I love them, LOL.) I think my ideal would be UC, with a surgical staff on hold at the hospital down the road, all seven older kids spending a week at grandma’s, and a maid and a cook coming after the birth, LOL. 
But until I win the lottery, I’ll settle for a hospital experience where I am not treated like a moron with a ticking time bomb in my womb.
(Oh, and if I do hit the lottery, I think the maid and the cook can stay indefinitely… LOL.)
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K Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 5:39 am (Quote)
The trick is to find a hospital where you CAN have a natural experience and a relaxing first couple of days.
I had a hospital experience where I was mistreated, coerced into a section, given drugs to which I reacted badly and not allowed to eat for three days. My son was taken away at birth for four hours (left alone in an isolette). And, I had nurses undermining breastfeeding and my parenting until I could get OUT OF THERE.
Since then – two home vbacs. One miraculous homebirth of a posterior 10lb12oz boy – no way the hospital would have worked so long with me to get him out – a hospital c-section for sure.
If our hospital supported women and didn’t treat us like so many widgets on an assembly line – it would be different.
Michelle, you are blessed that your kids come relatively easily and quickly.
Hospitals like ours make people feel very polarized about homebirth.
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Kat Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 7:52 am (Quote)
K, I am so sorry that happened to you. That’s truly awful. I had some less than pleasant hospital experiences myself, making it such that I can’t fully relax in the hospital. My kids go play at friends’ or relatives’ homes, I have a soft comfy bed, and I get fed delicious healthy foods instead of overcooked icky stuff. Why wouldn’t I want to be at home?
If I had experienced support and comfort from the hospital, I might not prefer to go home ASAP.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 8:40 am (Quote)
Finding such a hospital is key, but difficult. I went through horrible treatment at the hands of four different doctors and four hospitals, including unnecessary surgery and a hospitalization at 12 weeks where the doctors flat out admitted that saving my unborn daughter was not a priority, before deciding to homebirth my third baby. One of the good things that resulted from that, even though my husband wanted no more homebirths, was that the hospital where we took her after the birth turned out to be awesome. We were not judged for homebirthing, our decisions as parents were respected, and our daughter received excellent care. Our last two babies were born at this hospital, with no major problems. (I did have one OB there last time who told me I’d have to have an automatic c-section just because I’d chosen not to do prenatal appointments with an OB, but she left right after I arrived and I got to labor with a wonderful, very VBAC supportive young doc for 12 hours until we all decided that a c-section was actually necessary due to fetal distress. Ironically, the distress was caused by a placental problem that the one OB I had seen prenatally had diagnosed, but never TOLD me about. He just wrote it in my chart and never mentioned it to me.)
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Jess Reply:
January 15th, 2010 at 6:39 pm (Quote)
K, Wow I wish I had your strength. I too was coerced into an unnecessary csection because after 2 ultrasounds while I was in labor they missed he was LOP(sunny side up) and leaving me with my cervix stuck over his head for 12 hours (and not checking me) and 24 hours of knowing there was mer in there. My mw was absent and the fp doc was clueless.
K, I think you should share your stories with ICAN and educate those of us who wish to be empowered with our births!
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K Reply:
January 17th, 2010 at 9:28 am (Quote)
Jess,
Strength has a lot to do with a terrific support team. I was less stong than my husband and midwife believed me to be – and that let their beliefs come true. I now joke that I can leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I really felt that way after my homebirths.
I am an active member of ICAN (since 2000). All three of my birth stories have been there and my posterior birth was also featured in a special edition of Midwifery Today on Posterior babies.
If you want more of the story, contact me through the ICAN-online list.
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I agree with you wholeheartedly, Dawn.
Women should have a right to choose where they give birth, and what kind of care they get.
It’s often the women who feel they’re not given the choice that choose to birth at home.
There are some good hospitals out there, just like there are some good doctors out there, and I’m so happy for you that you found one.
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Chara Watson had this to say,
Dec 16, 2009 @ 2:39 pm (Quote)
So, maybe this is just my ignorance, but what do they do when a mom refuses to be checked during labor? Do they just guess? I suppose that’s not all that common, but it makes me wonder what the nurses rely on other than vaginal checks and monitors.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:40 pm (Quote)
I’m pretty sure the standard procedure is to tell the mom that her baby can’t be born until the nurse does a vaginal check.
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Jess Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm (Quote)
“standard procedure is to tell the mom that her baby can’t be born…”
Good luck enforcing that one…lol
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Kat Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm (Quote)
I’m pretty certain Michelle was referencing a previous post where the nurse told the woman she had to get checked in order for the baby to come out.
And yeah, that’s not possible to enforce!
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Jane Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm (Quote)
It’s considered sexual assault to perform a vaginal exam on a woman who has not consented.
I told my SIL this.She’s a police officer. The doctor had previously performed a cervical check at 37 weeks that left her bleeding like a period for 24 hours, and the office refused to let her talk to the doctor again. So when she went back, after I told her this, she refused to strip and refused to let the doctor check her. The doctor did then admit that a cervical exam at 38 weeks offered no useful information.
It’s interesting to read accounts from midwives who not only don’t perform a check for dilation during labor but also recount women who deliver with their legs together. So many things we’ve been acclimated to as “normal” aren’t the only possible way to do things.
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I think every woman should be allowed to choose for herself the birth she wants, without other women judging her. I have had struggles with people judging me for wanting a homebirth, I ended up having a hospital birth for low amnio fluid (2 at 39 weeks), but I was so battered for wanting a home birth.
My ideal birth would be a home birth with a midwife, but I’m not stupid, I want a healthy baby and when my HR Dr. and Midwife said it was safest to be induced I listened
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Jan 18, 2010 @ 4:38 am (Quote)
You would think that mom can tell when she’s approaching the pushing stage … after all, the baby is in HER body, not the nurses … *eyeroll* What a pair of idiots.
That said, during my VBAC when they asked if I wanted the doctor to be called in to deliver my daughter, I flatly told them “Uh, no, I don’t think so!” LOL
Sadly, these people will still get paid, regardless – even though the mother basically delivered her baby herself! (Congrats to you, if you’re reading this! )
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Hi everyone! I have just discovered this site a few days ago and am in awe of all you great feisty mutually-supportive women, just as I am appalled at the idiocy and arrogance represented by these comments you report.
I have a couple of websites for you to take a look at if/when you have time. The American Association of Birth Centers is at http://www.birthcenters.org. There are about 450 birth centers around the U.S. and most of them WILL support vbac. Also, please take a look at the website for my group, The Big Push for Midwives Campaign, at http://www.thebigpushformidwives.org, to learn which states license all midwives, CNMs AND CPMs, and which ones are still working on it. At the present time, 26 states DO license midwives other than CNMs, and we are in the process of birthing a couple more state licensure laws this month. Thanks for letting me lurk for a few days. You are amazing and this is a great site.
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Next time, stay at home.
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