Comments on: “…With Young Mothers We Tend To Assume That There Is No Father…” http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/ Thu, 09 Sep 2010 12:33:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: BusyBee http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-4348 BusyBee Sat, 20 Feb 2010 01:42:57 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-4348 Yay- so nice to have an RN in the family. Hey but Mom is way cooler about it than she used to be. Give it time! Yay- so nice to have an RN in the family. Hey but Mom is way cooler about it than she used to be. Give it time!

]]> By: BusyBee http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-4347 BusyBee Sat, 20 Feb 2010 01:41:12 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-4347 Ditto that- and I only have 4. BUT I don't worry since maybe I won't be sobbing my head off about how old I look when I'm 40! Ditto that- and I only have 4. BUT I don’t worry since maybe I won’t be sobbing my head off about how old I look when I’m 40!

]]> By: Whtewolfs http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-4036 Whtewolfs Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:37:59 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-4036 You GO Doula!!!! yay! :-D Midwives are awesome! I will never have a child in a hospital if I can help it :-) You GO Doula!!!! yay! :-D Midwives are awesome! I will never have a child in a hospital if I can help it :-)

]]> By: WendyLou http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-3444 WendyLou Fri, 29 Jan 2010 09:56:40 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-3444 We had this go around with an oh so politically correct OB on a second opinion on a terribly high risk pregnancy. She would say "partner" and I would say husband She would say "fetus" and I would say baby or her name. GAH My friends, who happen to be lesbians, referred me to her. Turns out they had the same problem, as they refer to each other as "wife". They got married the first time they married gays in San Francisco, and in recognition of what they had, which was taken away, and what is not recognized in our state. The ob would say partner and they would say "wife". GAH. Respect people and their relationships. PS, I got the "Are you being abused" questions while my husband was changing into his scrubs for my planned, medically necessary C/S at 34 weeks. This was after she had done my history, and had learned that I was a child welfare worker specializing in domestic violence. IDIOT! We had this go around with an oh so politically correct OB on a second opinion on a terribly high risk pregnancy.

She would say “partner” and I would say husband
She would say “fetus” and I would say baby or her name. GAH

My friends, who happen to be lesbians, referred me to her. Turns out they had the same problem, as they refer to each other as “wife”. They got married the first time they married gays in San Francisco, and in recognition of what they had, which was taken away, and what is not recognized in our state.
The ob would say partner and they would say “wife”.

GAH. Respect people and their relationships.

PS, I got the “Are you being abused” questions while my husband was changing into his scrubs for my planned, medically necessary C/S at 34 weeks. This was after she had done my history, and had learned that I was a child welfare worker specializing in domestic violence. IDIOT!

]]> By: Kimmee http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-3089 Kimmee Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:44:14 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-3089 Well, that was the ONLY time MIL has ever been awesome. lol. She's totally against me being a Doula and has been trying to get DH to keep me from starting Midwifery School this year. Alternative birthing "isn't safe", you know. All that fun stuff. Leave it to the OBs and RNs like her. -eye roll- Well, that was the ONLY time MIL has ever been awesome. lol. She’s totally against me being a Doula and has been trying to get DH to keep me from starting Midwifery School this year. Alternative birthing “isn’t safe”, you know. All that fun stuff. Leave it to the OBs and RNs like her. -eye roll-

]]> By: Lisa http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-3075 Lisa Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:00:03 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-3075 OMG your MIL is awesome! OMG your MIL is awesome!

]]> By: Michele http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-3049 Michele Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:39:23 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-3049 My mother was 17 when I was born in 1974 and there is no father listed on my birth certificate because they weren't married. I like to tell people I sprang fully formed from my mother's forehead. My father knew I was his and my mother had all of his information, has in fact written it on the birth certificate, but because they weren't married the hospital struck his information from the certificate. My mother was 17 when I was born in 1974 and there is no father listed on my birth certificate because they weren’t married. I like to tell people I sprang fully formed from my mother’s forehead. My father knew I was his and my mother had all of his information, has in fact written it on the birth certificate, but because they weren’t married the hospital struck his information from the certificate.

]]> By: Jessica Giordano http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-2920 Jessica Giordano Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:36:20 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-2920 When I had my son (two years ago) I was annoyed when they asked my husband to leave the room and their annoyed with a berage of questions WHILE I WAS IN LABOR, while they admitted me, and then again why they prepped me for my unnecessary csection. "Do you have enough food" "Do you have heat" "does your husband beat you" "do you feel safe" LOOK LADY ASK ME THESE QUESTIONS LATER! And as far as that rotten woman Kimmie, she should not have argue about work title or anything like that what does it matter. My paperwork for the birth certificate was simple and the records people read it over and that was it. I got the social security card in the mail a few days later and picked up the certificate I had to go pick up When I had my son (two years ago) I was annoyed when they asked my husband to leave the room and their annoyed with a berage of questions WHILE I WAS IN LABOR, while they admitted me, and then again why they prepped me for my unnecessary csection. “Do you have enough food” “Do you have heat” “does your husband beat you” “do you feel safe” LOOK LADY ASK ME THESE QUESTIONS LATER!

And as far as that rotten woman Kimmie, she should not have argue about work title or anything like that what does it matter. My paperwork for the birth certificate was simple and the records people read it over and that was it. I got the social security card in the mail a few days later and picked up the certificate I had to go pick up

]]> By: Erin http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-2903 Erin Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:50:25 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-2903 Has anybody explained to this woman how babies are made? No matter how young you are there is always a father. I would be willing that more often than not, even with unmarried teen moms the father is still in the picture. Has anybody explained to this woman how babies are made? No matter how young you are there is always a father. I would be willing that more often than not, even with unmarried teen moms the father is still in the picture.

]]> By: Ashley http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/12/10/with-young-mothers-we-tend-to-assume-that-there-is-no-father/comment-page-1/#comment-2707 Ashley Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:55:52 +0000 http://myobsaidwhat.com/?p=709#comment-2707 Prejudice towards young moms really chaps my ass. A friend of mine got a slew of really awful, horrible comments from a sonographer after a miscarriage when she was 18 about how the sonographer would be horrified if HER 18 year old daughter was having sex--and my friend was married! And had just had a miscarriage! Same friend has had care providers assume that her miscarriages were elective abortions, and that the child she -did- give birth to was given up for adoption. Who knew being a young mother (regardless of the "wife" status) was a crime? Prejudice towards young moms really chaps my ass. A friend of mine got a slew of really awful, horrible comments from a sonographer after a miscarriage when she was 18 about how the sonographer would be horrified if HER 18 year old daughter was having sex–and my friend was married! And had just had a miscarriage! Same friend has had care providers assume that her miscarriages were elective abortions, and that the child she -did- give birth to was given up for adoption. Who knew being a young mother (regardless of the “wife” status) was a crime?

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