Dec 072009

“Welcome to the tight vagina club.” -OB to mother during prep for an unplanned cesarean section.

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 December 7, 2009  Cesarean, OB, vagina  Add comments

  24 Responses to “"Welcome To The Tight Vagina Club."”

  1. Funny, I had a vagina birth, no stitches, and by two months postpartum I was so tight I needed a local anesthetic to get an IUD inserted, and I still can’t have sex due to pain from being too tight.
    (And before anyone suggests it, yeah, vaginismus, I know.)

  2. I started this comment like 4 times, and I still can’t express my disgust? dismay?
    You know, just because the doc’s job involves a private part of our bodies doesn’t give them license to be crass!
    Being decent and discrete is not above and beyond the call of duty, it’s your JOB.

  3. That’s just so inappropriate. Is it any wonder so many women come through an unplanned c-section feeling traumatized?!

  4. That’s so offensive! And a myth, too. Additionally, I hardwired a TON of sensations and musculature capabilities by pushing a baby out…skipping the biological completion of a positive control mechanism is a handicap, not an advantage!

  5. Because wanting a “tight vagina” is a good reason to have a c-section?? Whatever happened to “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”? Verbal diarrhea, no other explanation.

  6. Let’s remember that this C-section was unplanned, so the mother may be more pained about it.
    But really, did he ever hear of kegels?
    Let’s just say I’m not having any problems, thank you very much, and this is after 4 vaginal births. He needs to get his facts straight.

  7. Where do “educated” people get this myth that birth irreparably stretches the healthy vagina? I’m 5’4″ and 130 pounds, gave birth to a 9-pound 6-ounce baby at home, and had a tear that we decided against stitching. By 8 weeks postpartum I was healed and back to normal internal muscle tone.

    Yes, our bodies are changed by pregnancy and birth. That doesn’t mean they are less functional or less pleasing to our partners.

    • Wait, you didn’t get stitches? REALLY? What was it like healing? Do you think it hurt less than stitches, because my sister got stitches and she hurts so bad, it’s awful.

      I didn’t even know you could skip the whole stitching thing. Although I guess that makes sense, now that I think about it.

      • I had heard/read that stitches can itch, hurt, pull, etc., and my midwife tries not to use stitches (though surely there must be some degree of tearing that benefits from stitching). She recommended seaweed (nori–the same stuff you buy to make sushi rolls) to promote healing: take a piece of nori, get it good and wet, and lay it up against the tear. That was very soothing to the tissue and it healed without complications. It’s not picture-perfect, but I’ve never had aspirations of being a perineum model anyhow. :)

      • Skin cells grow together in a zigzag-type pattern (for lack of a better term), and so a natural tear will be in a zigzag-type pattern and an episiotomy is a cut/slice in a straight pattern, going against how your skin naturally forms (and heals). If left alone, a minor tear will grow back together more naturally than an episiotomy can be stitched (and less risk of things healing up “too tight”).

        I know my home birth midwives very rarely have women who tear, but when they do they generally are first degree and mom just stays home and heals (I know I’d hate to go to the hospital after a normal home birth just to be stitched up!)…only the 3rd and 4th degree tears typically go in for stitching.

  8. Instead of advocating for the c-section, why couldn’t he advocate for self care, and ya know, Kegals??? They work better anyway!

  9. Um, three births later (including a 10 lb. 3 oz. baby) and my vagina is fine and dandy, thank you very much. Tsk, tsk.

  10. And then there’s the whole some woman may want a slightly stretched vagina. I’ve always been small down there and sex has usually hurt. Since finally having my VBAC I’m enjoying sex like never before! As well as the new sensations and musculature Guggie Daly mentioned!

  11. I was hoping that one of the benefits of the birth of my first would be some stretching! In the end, I had a c-section and sex hurt for a year! I tried to explain it to my OB and she didn’t get it.

  12. What a horrible thing to say at such a time!

    What is with people thinking that normals births “ruin” the vagina?! After 2 vaginal births, my husband swears I am tighter. I would think he was just being nice, but my midwife said the same thing to me. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy with my first (grr), and the resulting scar tissue made crowning a bit hard with my 2nd baby. Had a little natural tearing from that, and my midwife gave me 2 or 3 stitches. One of them felt a little funny later and I asked her to check it out. We had/have an open and humorous relationship, and she said “well honestly dear, you have the vagina of a virgin” LOL. I laughed and my husband grinned widely. There is definitely a right and wrong way/place/time/person to address this kind of thing, and that stupid OB certainly was out of line! I would have fired the jerk and demanded a new one!

  13. While I think that might not have been the best thing to say, my vaginal birth ruined my vagina- sex has been a lot different ever since then, even though my gyn insists that I’m “normal.” I’ve done kegels, used every single machine that advertises results, and….nothing. It sucks. So yes, vaginal birth might not ruin everyone’s vagina, but it did mine.

    • Melanie, you may want to check out the new book “Ending Female Pain”. Click *here* for my review of it, plus more links. A lot of the time, doctors don’t have any help to offer, or can see nothing “clinically” wrong, when there *is* something wrong — something that perhaps can be fixed.

  14. And yet, we assume this comment was made by a male OB. Whenever I read these things, my mind automatically thinks “female OB.” They are sadistic that way, as if because they, too, have vaginas, they can treat us as “equals” and somehow just *know* what we’re experiencing. Yeah, whatever.

  15. i made up the vagina club and googled it and there is one

  16. Welcome to the club does sound like something only a club member would say. Probably a woman OB.

  17. At 66 I feel like sending my OB Gyn a thank you card. He was a rockstar from Stanford who did my c-section in the early 80′s , he used lasers instead of a blade, I was released from the hospital in less than 48hrs, just tape no stiches, no scar, no scar tissue , undetectible just 1 month later…easy recovery, (Iw was 32) the bonus I never anticipated, stronger orgasms (from hormonal chgs due to pregnancy, not a vaginal birth)….. Judging from the spontaneous feedback from partners that were 15-20 years younger than myself ….”OMG you feel like a virgin!”…. So ..with todays technology, c-sections are very safe for both mother & baby…. And I would definately recommend electing to have a c-section to my daughter who just turned 30.. the benefits are long lasting …

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