My OB said the same thing to me when I told her that I wanted a completely unmedicated birth. I am now seeing a midwife for a home birth.

This one is actually right. Why would you go to an OB if you didn’t want their “help” (i.e. needless interventions)? I’m glad that he/she recommended a midwife instead, that’s what they should be doing for low-risk women who want natural births.

Great choice! If an OB can’t understand that he shouldn’t intervene unless desired or necessary you don’t need him around.

So wait, tying their hands behind their backs is the only way to prevent them from inflicting unnecessary and sometimes dangerous interventions on laboring women and their babies? That gives me all kinds of ideas… (jokingly evil chuckle here)

Maybe the OB should be strapped down on the bed with monitors, legs in stirrups, unless and until there’s a medical need! That should make everyone happy right? The machines that beep and flash are hooked up, and the mom gets to do her thing without being poked prodded and interfered with every ten seconds.

In case anyone missed it I am COMPLETELY not serious here. I think this doctor gave excellent advice, midwives are the way to go for low risk pregnant women who desire a safe intervention-free birth.

What is bothersome is that he calls what he is offering ‘help’.

I agree Kat. In her case though, it wasn’t help that he was offering. It was his drive-thru style McObstetrics. As you said, it is help in some cases, but not in hers, which is why I referred to it as bothersome that he called it ‘help’ in her case.

I know that everyone on here thinks that OB’s are the devil but I’d like to say that I have had two perfectly wonderful OB hospital births. While I fully support the use of a midwife and will look into one for my next birth (more for the personal attention that you get during pregnancy rather than any issues I had with my OB) my OB was perfectly ok with everything that I wanted to do (or not do) during my pregnancy.

She was fine with not doing internals in my final weeks, fine with my desire to have an unmedicated birth experience, fine with not inducing me despite my previous pregnancy weighing in at 10p 5oz and was fine with my pushing in any position that I wanted to during delivery. If you want an OB you just need to do your research to find one that’s in line with your needs/desires. They do exist.

And while I agree that in this case the submitter would have been best with a midwife – what this doctor was doing was not offering a helpfull suggestion like many have stated. In many cases he would have been tying her hands. It’s often very difficult to find someone who’s available at the last minute like she was able to do and had she not she would have been stuck with this OB who likely wouldn’t have been in her favor during delivery.

Rachel: I know that everyone on here thinks that OB’s are the devil but I’d like to say that I have had two perfectly wonderful OB hospital births.

Rachel,
I do not think that everyone on this site thinks OBs are the devil! Because they are not! Just like in every profession, and all walks of life, there are good and bad. Both sides.

Birth is a normal physiological process just like eating or breathing. It does not require a surgeon to facilitate it. But when things go wrong, as it may, just like in life, it is important to have skilled providers who can truly handle the real emergencies. But, the reality is, that many of the emergencies are created by the systems and processes and interventions of the providers, many times their choice of words and their actions are manipulative, self-serving and not in the best interest of a healthy mom and a healthy baby. And even more damaging, they lead women to believe that their bodies are broken and incapable of birthing their babies. And that women should not question their care, nor have an opinion nor trust their instincts.

I know and work with many capable, qualified and wonderful OBs, but that is the exception! I think we should sing the praises of all providers (doctors, midwives, nurses, etc) who treat women with respect, kindness, understanding and the realization that the woman is the one who should and can make the decisions about her care. Consumers should RUN to these providers, and avoid the others at all costs. But the hard cold fact is that this type or provider is not what all women experience, and the way we birth really does matter, and some providers are truly damaging on both a physical and emotional level!

And then women are left to pick up the pieces and figure out where to go!

Thank you for sharing your experience, and please, encourage all the women you know to support your doctors! They will get the care they need in a loving supportive environment. But also, tell women who suspect that their provider has a different agenda, who feel unsupported and unlistened to, who are having second thoughts to get themselves out of that situation and find someone (like your provider) who will give them what they need, what they want and what they deserve! Birth is too important! It really matters!