Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
24
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Was This A One Night Thing?”
“Do you know who the father is or was this a one night thing?”-OB to young mom during her first OB appointment.
There are 18 comments to this post.
How is that even relevant to maternity medical care? They treat everyone as if they were sleeping with anything that moves anyhow.
Even if you are happily married, and know with 100% certainty who the father of your child is, and have been completely monogamous all your life, they will still test you for every STD (initial bloodwork). If you know your husband’s blood type, they will even lie and tell you a Rhogam shot is necessary “just in case” you lied about who fathered your child… Asking if the conception of your child was a drunken fling is just adding insult to injury and will not change their requirements for the hoops they want you to jump through. So, why ask?
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Michelle Potter had this to say,
Sep 24, 2009 @ 10:17 pm (Quote)
Am I the only one who would feel compelled to answer indignantly, “Of course I know! How could I forget my own husband’s brother??”
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I had something similar happen to me when I went into the hospital. A “young” mother, I was repeatedly asked if I had sex outside the relationship with any one other than my husband. It was not necessary and demeaning and the nurse wouldn’t drop it.
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OMG! That is when I would stand up, say “thank you for your time and don’t expect me to pay for this visit. I don’t normally pay for people to insult me!”, and walk out the dang door! It is so sad when women forget that they have HIRED an health care provider to work FOR them!
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Kimmee Marcel had this to say,
Sep 25, 2009 @ 3:30 pm (Quote)
I remember in postpartum after I had my son, the nurse came in with the birth certificate and the entire father’s side was blank. My poor husband was sitting right there still in his sailor’s suit from flying in! The nurse said “Well with young mothers we tend to assume that there is no father so we don’t upset them by asking.” Uh… hello!? So you would rather upset the young mother who is married!? How about you don’t assume at all and you look at my CHART!
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This is why I was so self-conscious when I was pregnant–I’d been married for two years, but I was 22, and people seem to assume that any pregnant woman who isn’t 35 is naturally a promiscuous single mom. In fact, I’ve seen this assumption for ANY pregnant woman who isn’t standing right next to her husband. Goes double in late 3rd trimester when the wedding rings are too tight!
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I am 27, but look much younger (apparently about 15 is what I’ve been told) so even with my wedding rings on and my husband right beside me, I’ve heard comments about “children having children” and wondering who the father is… like it’s not obvious, my son looks just like his daddy!
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A very inconsiderate nurse said something like this to my cousin after the birth of her second baby. Her husband had been killed in a car accident a few months after they found out she was pregnant so the entire pregnancy was extremely emotional and difficult for her to begin with. The sad thing about the statement was it was clearly noted in her chart that her husband was deceased and to be “sensitive” to the matter. I’m scared to think of what her version of insensitive would be…
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I’m 28 and I look like I’m still a teenager, so when I was pregnant, I’d get lots of dirty looks from people when they thought I wasn’t looking. Didn’t bother me, though. It was their problem, not mine. I was proud of my bump, and now I’m proud of my 2 month old, so there!
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Like it’s any of the OB’s business.
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