Sep 9

Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.

"This Is Man Blood…"

“This is man blood, so don’t be surprised if you start feeling smarter.” -OB to mom receiving a transfusion after Postpartum Hemorrhage.

59 people dislike these words.

There are 29 comments to this post.

Lori had this to say, Sep 9, 2009 @ 10:52 am (Quote)

I was at a planned primary cesarean for suspected large baby. After the baby weighed in at over 10 lbs. The OB looked the Mother straight in the eye and said, “There was no way that baby was ever going to come out of your vagina!” Well doc, certainly not under your care. . .

Helen Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 8:30 am Helen(Quote)

what is so terrible about that comment?

Lori Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 8:52 am Lori(Quote)

It implied that in some way her body and her baby were defective. It shows the OB’s ignorance and mistrust of the natural birth process. A 10 lb. baby IS a large baby, but that does not automatically make it impossible for a mother to deliver vaginally, especially when she has the freedom to move around and help her baby along (check out the Lamaze healthy Birth practice #2). Many women give birth to large babies (some over 11 lbs!) without even a tear. The blog TheUnnecesarean.com has many wonderful birth stories of women who have birthed large babies vaginally. It is sad to me that women are being coerced, bullied, and abused into unnecessary cesareans and then made to feel like somehow it was their fault when actually their doctors never even gave them a chance.

Kat Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 9:00 am Kat(Quote)

Babies over ten pounds are born just fine all the time. However the “business as usual” practices of some doctors make this less likely. Time limits set on labor (that are not based on evidence-based care), restrictions on mother’s freedom of movement, or enforcing positions for pushing that reduce the pelvic opening, for example.

Some doctors require a woman to schedule an “elective” c-section based only on ultrasound measurements estimating a size over 8 pounds, even though it is known that ultrasound weight estimates in the third trimester have a margin of error +/- two pounds, and 8-10 pounds is by no means too big to be birthed vaginally.

I have a friend who has birthed several 12 pound babies at home. She is tall and has a large bone structure, but under the care of some doctors she would certainly be told her babies were “too big” to be born (even though obviously they weren’t, since she had them at home with *no* complications).

The doctor quoted above did not believe a woman’s body was capable of birthing a ten pound baby. This isn’t an opinion based on scientific evidence, but the doctor’s own prejudice and personal opinion. That is why it is terrible.

Alice Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am Alice(Quote)

With few exceptions (like unmanaged gestational diabetes), a woman’s body won’t grow a baby too big for her to safely push out.

Ameya had this to say, Sep 10, 2009 @ 7:57 am (Quote)

…WHAT?!

Lindsey had this to say, Sep 10, 2009 @ 1:07 pm (Quote)

“Well, I *am* having the sudden urge to pick my toes and belch…”

CanNurse had this to say, Sep 10, 2009 @ 6:18 pm (Quote)

WHAT!?! I wish you’d had the energy to kick the SOB HARD right where it get his serious attention!!

Heather had this to say, Sep 11, 2009 @ 7:47 pm (Quote)

Oh. My. God. I … am speechless.

Laura had this to say, Sep 11, 2009 @ 8:56 pm (Quote)

Of course, because everyone knows that blood from girls is pink and blue from boys…

Kat had this to say, Sep 12, 2009 @ 9:59 pm (Quote)

Wow. Reading that literally made my stomach churn.

HeavenlyHippy had this to say, Sep 14, 2009 @ 3:19 am (Quote)

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR!

Jessica had this to say, Sep 14, 2009 @ 12:26 pm (Quote)

This so incredibly offensive I can’t even laugh about it. It came from someone that is supposed to care for women? Obviously the power trip he gets from his job is why he does it. Disgusting.

Molly Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 12:59 pm Molly(Quote)

I think “power trip” is exactly why the vast majority of OBs become OBs. You’ve hit the nail right on the head.

Sarah had this to say, Sep 15, 2009 @ 12:29 am (Quote)

Oh come on, this is funny! It doesn’t sound like he was being a prick, he was just having a joke.
Some of you women are way too precious!

Jess had this to say, Sep 15, 2009 @ 5:06 pm (Quote)

@Sarah
Yeah, because I want to joke around just after experiencing a life threatening hemorrhage. But thanks for adding to the condescending tone that birthing women experience daily. :\

Kat had this to say, Sep 15, 2009 @ 10:14 pm (Quote)

Even if it was meant as a joke and not the way it sounds here, it is in extremely poor taste. The fact that the doctor would think saying that is *funny* betrays a lack of respect. Based on some of my own experiences, I often find humor like that expresses someone’s true feelings in a “socially acceptable” way. If it were my relatives kidding with me months later, I could see it. The attending physician has no business saying junk like that.

Sarah had this to say, Sep 17, 2009 @ 12:43 am (Quote)

@ Jess, yeah I have no idea what it’s like to birth a baby after having 3 of them….I also haemorrhaged after the birth of my 3rd and was borderline dying but you know what? I survived and enjoyed a few jokes with my nurses and doctors afterwards. I find it refreshing to be treated by doctors with a sense of humour, even if it is a bit dark.
Take it however you want, but you’d be a shitload happier seeing the funny side instead of scowling.

Echo Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 4:40 pm Echo(Quote)

Why is it that all the misogynistic comments are followed up after being called on their behavior with “well my birth went *exactly* like that so I can say it if I want to”?

Molly Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Molly(Quote)

It reminds me of people who say “Its OK for me to make racist comments because I have a minority friend”… No! Still doesn’t make it right.

Kat had this to say, Sep 17, 2009 @ 9:16 am (Quote)

Ok, time to take a step back and calm down. It’s great you had a good rapport with your caregivers. Obviously the person who submitted this felt the remark was questionable at best or she wouldn’t have submitted it. Instead of belittling that and dismissing her feelings, I choose to validate them, as I have dealt with OBs who had a similar attitude.

I don’t think this was intended as a place for women to be further bashed upon pointing out things they didn’t enjoy about their interactions with “care” providers, it’s a place of support.

It’s only *funny* if everyone is laughing, otherwise it is bullying and I don’t find that funny.

Amy had this to say, Sep 25, 2009 @ 3:19 pm (Quote)

I found it funny. A little inappopriate, yes, but still funny.

Kathy had this to say, Oct 1, 2009 @ 7:40 pm (Quote)

Yes, because telling your patient “you’re stupid because you’re a woman” is hilarious. NOT funny.

Kati had this to say, Oct 2, 2009 @ 1:52 pm (Quote)

BTW, I was the one who submitted this. And no, it was NOT funny, seeing as this was after my daughter was stillborn and I nearly bled to death. If I wasn’t trying so hard not to die I would have kicked him in the balls.

Kat had this to say, Oct 2, 2009 @ 5:37 pm (Quote)

Oh Kati, I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a much loved and wanted baby. Mine was in the NICU a couple days before he passed, but the end result is the same: empty aching arms, and a gaping hole in your broken heart.

Cruelty from medical personnel is just salt in the raw bleeding wounds. No one should ever have to go through that kind of hell. My heart breaks for you.

Julie had this to say, Oct 17, 2009 @ 6:44 am (Quote)

There are times when humor is just not appropriate and I think that dealing with a mother who has just lost a baby and is fighting for her life is one of them. Kati- I am so sorry you had to deal with such a knob at such a difficult time.

Mary had this to say, Jan 12, 2010 @ 9:10 pm (Quote)

The first shock of this comment made me laugh… Now I am sick to my stomach about it.

Natalia had this to say, Sep 2, 2010 @ 9:07 am (Quote)

This makes me sick. It’s bad enough said at a happy birth; 10 times worse after one’s baby has died. Kati, I hope you got back sometime with a formal complaint. However, I lost a baby similarly and know that there was too much else going on for me to pursue anything like that very far.

Heartfelt condolences and hugs, Kati.

CCindy had this to say, Sep 2, 2010 @ 10:55 am (Quote)

Kati, I am sorry and that is disgusting. If he had said something funny after the danger had passed to lighten the mood it would have been one thing, but to say that after delivering a still born baby. The guy needs to find the hospital chaplin/psyhic department to deal with his dysfunction.

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